Hello, I am about two weeks post-op and my husband says that he is not attracted to me at all after seeing my incisions, my drain, etc. He says he doesn't know if his attraction will come back and if it does, how long it will take. Did anyone else have similar experiences. What do I do?

To address lindawollacks comment: You are staying with him because you promised. So.....what has he promised? Was there anything in your vow about unconditional love in sickness and in health.

@@Miss Mac wondered the same myself.

Very unsupportive, thoughtless, and insensitive. Don't dwell on it. Focus on you. When you are stronger and healthier, you never know what you may decide to do. Good for you for taking this step!

Ok folks please before you post a reply, read the entire thread. The OP posted an update ????

I was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 months before my wedding to my husband. I chose to have a double mastectomy to prevent further issues. I talked to my husband and he said get rid of them. Every step of the way through surgery and reconstruction, HE WAS THERE. even though they don't feel real to me. He loves them. Lol. And I have to say with this weight loss surgery a gall bladder removed I am full of scars. He couldn't give a rip! And here is the upside. Since I have implants from the breast cancer, no saggy boobs. So here is my point. NOT ALL MEN ARE IGNORANT. THERE ARE SIME GOOD ONES OUT THERE.

No breast augmentation needed.

I hope your hubby was just not expressing himself well.

This situation is a reason why marriages dissolve after surgery. Your husband should love you unconditionally.

Please ladies. .. this man is not perfect (are any of them..ha) but he doesn't seem to be the villain so many of you seem to see him as.

op updated us...please read it. This WLS thing effects our loved ones too. I promise you that investing in their emotional needs is important too.

Forgive me for saying this, but your husband is an insensitive jerk! The reason you did this was to feel and look better; he can't keep his hurtful comments to himself during this difficult post-op adjustment, and just shower you with TLC? It sounds like you have an additional 200 lbs. to drop....your husband. Hold your head high and be proud of yourself!!! You are awesome!1

Good thing you did this for you and not for him. That was an awful thing to say. I know drains and incisions and all are not attractive but those are very temporary things and the overall outcome will be so worth it. I'm afraid after making such a remark to me at a tough time in my life that I would not be attracted to him either. Ugly on the inside is ugly on the outside to me and i'm not attracted to uglyness.

@#58

SCARS ARE not issue with most men but are issues with this man. hence the issue. we area all individual.

what brings me to your website? scars! you have weight loss surgery, you will have scars from skin removal due to excessive weight loss. Most men, in my experiences, have HUGE issue with scars. Scars = no sex. however small, hence the post to what to expect. Men want perfect women, slim, NO wrinkles, white straight teeth, blemish free completion, long legs, slim waist. You do not have it? FORGET SEX. again, my humble experience, had it all except small scar and it s over now. I accept.

just came across this post and i have to say i highly disagree..not all men are shallow. Theres alot of men in my family and friends i have never come across this issue. Your experience with men or a man whatever it was or is I'm sorry you had this. Please don't generalize men as this is what men want. Granted there is some but not all. In fact i have talked about similar issues like this with my hubs and he can't understand why some would think this way. Over and out..????