Keeping weight loss surgery a secret

[sfivecoat 2]

Only my close family and friends know. Did not tell my boss or other coworkers only because I don't really care to hear their uneducated opinions on the surgery or tell me I can lose weight without it.

[baby256 9]

My s/o, brother, sisters know. My job knows Nothing

[baby256 9]

Your procedure is for YOU. Your lifestyle change is for you. Fluck folks and their opinions.

[bikrchk 1,313]

Yup. You need to do what you are comfortable with. For me, I find it easier to tell the truth than remember the lies. I stopped short of "coming out" on FB but told the folks I work with, close friends and family. Anyone who asks gets an honest answer. "I completely changed my lifestyle and regained my health by having surgery to reduce the size of my stomach". I don't kid myself or others... I could not make these changes stick without help. If that information helps someone, it's worth the risk of telling them. If they're not on my side, I really don't give a flip what they think anyway! Win/Win!

[Garifab_VSG 122]

From the start, I said I would not be telling too many people about this. But I've found that I've told quite a few already. Granted, they are all people I either eat lunch with, or trust on a general basis, but more and more I find myself saying, "I'm not telling many people this, but .... " and then realizing, wait, yes I have! LOL. (I'm pre-op - surgery is 3/31.)

I know one thing - I really don't want anyone's opinion about it, so if I'm telling someone who may be a little judgmental, I open with that. I start by saying, "I really don't want to tell too many people about this, because I'm not interested in anyone's opinions on the subject ... " So far, that has kept all but one person from turning up their nose about the idea, and everyone has been either supportive, or totally encouraging and excited for me.

My favorite response has been, "But how is that healthy? You'll barely be able to eat anything." Oh! Right. Because being 120 lbs overweight is WAY healthier.

[UrNoKenButUwantaBarbie 4]

I told my love ones. And some friends who are over weight.

[MaryC94 62]

I've told only a select few. My boss, who is really supportive and a co-worker who also has the surgery. My boyfriend was surprisingly supportive. I haven't told my family yet because they can be a bit harsh and critical. I will tell them after the surgery, if they ask. I haven't told my 15 year old daughter and I'm undecided if I should. She is facing a tough time of her own, don't want to make it worse by adding to it.

[4me4them 381]

I started with just a few close friends and family and asked them to keep it among us. As the date got closer, folks who could see my calendar and the leave status saw that I was going to be out 3 weeks and I started getting questions about my health....people were worried. I decided to release the confidants , thanked them for the support and told them if folks asked they could tell. I also started telling folks when they asked me.

For me, it was just easier than trying to keep it secret and I only had one person give me anything negative (why be so radical...I have this great diet you should try first....as if). The only thing you have to be ready for is that folks will want to know how you are doing afterwards and a couple of them have been pretty bold about asking how much I've lost. When I wasn't loosing very quickly this got annoying....so my standard answer to almost everyone except a few closes friends is "I'm not sure, I haven't weighed in awhile...but I walked 4 miles this weekend!". That answer put a stop to them asking for a pounds lost update...

[samuelsmom 670]

This is a personal choice and you will find lots of opinions about it. For me, I told 1 of my 4 siblings, my husband and kids, my supervisor, and a few other people.

For anyone who is not sure what to share, I would recommend looking at your friends and family to see who you think will be the most supportive and confidential. In my opinion, everyone should have someone as their support person and cheerleader. Quality of support is much more important than quantity!

[skc72 138]

I've told just about everyone I have daily contact with. For me it was better to let it out than have all the speculation about how I will be dropping weight so fast. I have yet to have any negative comments. :-)

[p3aCH3s 17]

I have told my close family members, boyfriend, boss, one Co worker, and 2 best girl friends. I have never felt more support in my life. I'm truly greatful that everyone thinks this is such a great decision and are willing to support me .

I don't want to tell everybody bc frankly it's not their business and I don't want to hear any negative comments . But once the surgery is over , if a friend does ask I will be honest . Most of my friends are over weight , but scared of the thought of having surgery. But i think if they know I went through it , and see how well I'm doing I can maybe help them along their journey .

I'm a social worker so i'm always trying to find a way to help others. I just want my journey to be positive along the way with no negative energy.

[Kathy66 11]

I didn't tell anyone but my husband and kids. Most people have a negative opinion and i didn't want anyone to try and talk me out of it.

[bellabloom 2,467]

I would not tell anyone outside of your close family and friends. People can be really mean and negative about it. Which is so stupid as this surgery is much harder than a regular diet

[ab123. 90]

Only my husband and my daughter that lives with me knows. My sister knows that I was looking into it and was supportive. My mother was afraid of me dying in surgery so is not. I don't have a date yet but I don't plan to tell anyone else until Thanksgiving when it will be obvious to family by my eating choices. No one else because I don't want to hear that I took the "easy" way.

[OldMomOf3 52]

I’m looking to get sleeved in a month (insurance pending). When I got the band I only told my husband. No one else knows, not even my kids. I have not regretted that choice. However, I don’t' feel great about not being completely honest. Yes, it is my business and no one needs to know, or has a right to know about my medical decisions. I totally get that and I totally agree. That is why I didn’t tell anyone. I also didn’t care to hear opinions. I didn’t want any negativity or any disparaging remarks.

Nevertheless, my conscience does not sit well with hiding things. For example, when people ask me how I lost the weight, and I reply with, “I ate less and exercised more,” I know I am not being completely honest. While that is true, it is a half-truth. I absolutely never could have lost the weight and kept it off without the band. I don’t think there is anything wrong with keeping your medical choices private. I don’t think there is anything wrong with not telling people. For me, though, I think I am to the point of just wanting to free myself from the burden of keeping it private.

As I ponder telling people about the sleeve, I think I am leaning toward telling AFTER I have the procedure. I don’t owe it to anyone to tell them what I’m doing. I don’t want to hear anyone’s opinion on the matter before I do it. After the procedure I think I will tell people when they ask. I’m not gong to post it on Facebook, but I’ll tell anyone who asks. It has taken me 3 years to get to this place, but I really don’t care what people think. They are going to think it anyway. I can easily defend my choice (not that I need to). I will simply say, “I had health issues that would only be resolved with quick, permanent weight loss. I did what it took and it has been the best decision I have ever made for myself and my family.”

If they don’t like it, then they don’t have to have weight loss surgery.

• My family will be supportive, and if they aren’t, I don’t care.
• My heavy family members might be inspired to have surgery and I would be happy to share with them and support them.
• My friends are all skinny, so I don’t have to worry about my heavy friends being jealous.
• Some of my skinny friends will make accidental snarky remarks, but right after that, they will become distracted by the cute new clothes I’m wearing.
• Other friends will tell me I cheated and took the easy way, and I will remind them that we are all looking for an easier way to lose weight (and then I’ll tell them this wasn’t easy!). I’ll inform them that the doctor didn’t cut off my fat – I still have to eat less and exercise more. There isn’t any magic here.
• My social circles will gossip – they already do.
• My workplace won’t care.

I’m expecting some of the critical people to really level me with their remarks. I’m ready to respond sweetly, and simply tell them they are entitled to their opinion, but I would prefer their support.

Every day I am more ready to be open about it. I know the surgery is the right thing to do. The decision came with a lot of time, thought and prayer and I have a confident, clear conscience, so their criticism will roll off.