Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Everyone who ever lost a pound thinks they know it all.



Recommended Posts

So I have been selling off some toys from my collection . action figures still in their packaging, star wars figures mostly. So a lady finds me on Facebook and she buys a few items, I meet her and she starts telling me about how she lost 40 pounds through her life and wellness coach and that she would like me to meet him and etc etc. I cordially decline and say Im set with myself for the surgery and yada yada. So this morning I get a message from her on face book, "Hi its me the woman who bought some items from you yesterday. I would really like to set up a meeting with you and my wellness coach, it wouldn't take long and I know he could get you the same result without the surgery. (Well Im glad SHE knows he can) so again im nice, I say no thank you im ok with what im doing etc. an hour ago I get another message. "hi again its me, my wellness coach asked me to contact you again he says its important that he talk with you , he feels the surgery is a mistake. " OH HE FEELS???

Well I would like to simply have been rude but I wasn't. I wanted to scream at this lady and call her a few choice names.

It just boggles the mind that people think we are doing this needlessly. Im not trying to drop a few pounds for a wedding. I'm telling you nothing is worse to a bariatric patient than some idiot who lose a few pounds and believes that makes them the god of weight loss.

They need to be slapped a few times.

How many of you deal with or have dealt with this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you have handled it well. "Thank you for your concern, but I am happy with my decision (or Drs. advice, or whatever)." should suffice. If she persists, I would politely ask her not to contact you again.

Some people really have no manners.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been there. When I publicly posted on Facebook about my decision, I only had one person to react negatively. She is someone that claimed to know my husband from high school (he doesn't remember her) and I had never met. She added me as a friend out of the blue just a few weeks before. She told me that I should watch a movie that had changed her life. Really? A movie?? Also told me that she knew what I was going through. No, honey, you don't know me, much less what I have been through. I sent her a lengthy message about her unsolicited advise and how she did not know me or my situation.

I (and my husband) have since blocked her from our accounts and don't feel bad about it at all. That's the kind of person I don't need in my life. I'd suggest the same. She doesn't know you or your life/struggles. It's ok to NOT be friends with some people on social media. I would block & don't look back if I were in your shoes. Just my opinion.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Lipstick lady- I refuse to play your game.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You handled this well. The "Broken Record Technique" is the only way in these situations and then eventually if they still persist, you ignore/bann completely. YOU are more important. All the best!

Edited by DizzyLizzie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

LOL - my mil used to say to me "I sympathize with you so much. I have been fighting the same 7 pounds my whole life." Really? 7 pounds? Not the same thing at all. Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My niece is a life/wellness coach. I had told my brother and his wife that I'd decided to have WLS. I felt that my immediate family should know - I know I would like to know if something major was going on with them. They were very supportive and loving.

About a week later I get an email from my niece: Let me work with you, if we fail you can still go through with it..."stomach stapling" is drastic, blah blah.

If it was anyone else, I would have been a little curt with them. But I know she was approaching me out of concern. It took over a week to reply, but I did so politely. She seemed to understand, and has been very supportive since.

I don't know what I would have done if it was from a stranger, and they kept persisting like a telemarketer!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@@Stevehud I would ask her how much commission she's making off this??! Tell Her sure you will but you won't be paying him a dime. I bet it doesn't come up again PS good job avoiding trivial arguments!!!!

Edited by Elode

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

this forum is a haven lol i would not know how people get through the surgeries etc without this place. and the people here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had people try to talk me out of it. I've only told a few family members and close friends that I'm doing it. When I suggest they do the research and then tell me why they feel I shouldn't have it they usually have nothing more to say. Also I make it very clear to them that they have NO IDEA what it's like to be overweight most of your life. That usually shits them up too. But this is with my loved ones. In my opinion, you gave her too much communication about it lol! After the first time you said no that should have been it. When she messaged you again she should have been blocked! Lol!!! That's just me ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

She would have been unfriended and blocked. That's why I don't tell my business to everyone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

People genuinely have no clue. Being a tad overweight is a whole different ballgame than fighting morbid obesity for DECADES! It's funny, since I have been at goal for awhile thin people think I am one of them..Ha! Losing 10 or 40# is a drop in the bucket. I applaud them that they don't need WLS, but I did.

I always say that WLS ISN'T the easy way out, it was the ONLY way out for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

First of all what she is doing is terribly rude and invasive. Im sure she thinks shes helping somehow but wow just sooooo RUDE! Only you know whats beat for you and its a very personal decision. She needs to butt out of other peoples business.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×