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Everyone who ever lost a pound thinks they know it all.



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Family members and close friends are trickier because they really want to hash it out. "Thanks for loving me, but I am tired of defending my choice."

I'd love some more advice about dealing with people who are sure they know what is best for me.

QB

Great comeback: "Thanks for loving me, but I am DONE defending my choice."

Here are a few others you can combine / alter as you find helpful:

"Next subject."

"I won't talk about this anymore."

"If we're going to remain friends, you can't ever bring this subject up again. Do you understand me?"

"I don't care what you think."

"You've mistaken me for someone who cares what anyone else thinks about this."

"This is none of your business."

"You're being intentionally rude. And now so will I. Shut up."

"I won't discuss this anymore."

While opening your door, "Please leave."

"I'm leaving. Goodbye."

"Police? I'd like to report someone who's harassing me and who refuses to leave my home. I'm at 103 Elm Street. Yes, please send someone over immediately. Yes, I would like to file charges."

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That is very rude of the person who kept annoying you with their opinion. Unfortunately some people are not well informed about WLS but think they are. I kept my surgery to myself before I had it because I didn't want to deal with the misinformed nor the well intention who THOUGHt they were informed. But since you are taking another approach, one thing I would suggest is just to say "thanks, but my medical situation is personal and I am working with a full medical team, and have done my research. But thanks for your concern. Now, how 'bout those blah blah blah " change the subject and if they don't get the hint this time drop 'em) ????

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Your story is unbelievable! I think it is boardering harrassment.

I have the same problem with friends and family trying to talk me out of it and recommending all the things they have tried. I am so tired explaining why my body doesn't respond the same way as theirs etc and all the things I already tried. They think Portion Control and exercise is the answer. I am happy that works for them and wish that worked for me.

I am so tired of repeatedly justifying and coming back with responses to all their suggestions.

Some are mothers of my kids' friends, and maybe if I just had a good comeback, that might work.

Family members and close friends are trickier because they really want to hash it out. "Thanks for loving me, but I am tired of defending my choice."

I'd love some more advice about dealing with people who are sure they know what is best for me.

QB

Simply say, "It's my choice, I've done my research and I know what I'm doing." I even go further and let them know I am no longer discussing this. Then anytime they try and bring it up I remind them that I am no longer discussing it.

Simply put, I shut it down every time. Eventually they get the hint.

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My sister in law offered to pay for the 30/10 weight loss thing for me. It was crazy cause it costs more then what im going to have to pay for the surgery. I really hate going into the whole story of my weightloss history, i wish they would take our declining and stop. But no, they feel they are saving us from something horrible I guess.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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