My friend told me tonight I should write a letter to each of my kids telling them things I want them to remember me by incase something g happens, because they won't remember me ( they are 2 and 3 1/2)

I am a total wreck now.

I feel like I am vain and selfish because of what she said. The last thing I want is to jeopardize my life and leave my children with out a mother and my fiancé alone to bring up our children alone.

I know the risks are small, but still there.

I really need some advise

Please

I am glad. I am sure your friend meant well especially if she knows how devoted you are to your kids.

It doesn't have to be long and deep. Just you love them and you are doing this to be a better mom.

I write my daughter a letter every year on her birthday. I put it in envelope and tuck away. No matter what happens she will receive these letters one day and will know how I feel.

Sometimes writing things down makes us feel better???? I am a single mom and did think about the risks but the benefits far exceeded those- I don't think it is a horrible thing to write a letter as long as you are comfortable doing so.

All the best with your surgery!

Edited November 12, 201411 yr by moveandgroove

@@tfarr This whole journey I've thought about how this will benefit my daughter and how I'm doing this for her. Never once did I think about being mortal. It's tough when the thought gets brought up and you realize that you feel conflicted - you are doing it to be with them longer, but what happens if it does the complete opposite? After reading your post, I definitely will be sitting down the day before surgery, and write my little girl a letter. I need her to know what I am doing for her and know that in no way was it out of vanity, but love. God forbid it backfires, she has this. If it doesn't? The she will know the hardwork her mommy put in for her.

Your story reminded me of a conversation I had with my coworker a few weeks ago. My daughter lives with my parents currently and I am in the process of moving to a new place for enough room when she comes back to live with me. My coworker asked me if I really wanted a two bedroom apartment even though my daughter wouldn't be there with me for an indefinite amount of time. She told me how devastating that will be. It wasn't something I ever thought of because I was more excited with prettying up her room and having somewhere for her to go when she visits. In the same way, my friend wasn't trying to make me think of the worst, but look out for my emotions because it's how SHE would feel. In that way, your friend wanted you to think of the risks because that's what she would do....

My sons' baby books have a few letters that I have written over the years. Friends say things raw & rough sometimes - I know I have, regretfully. If you write letters about what you are doing & why & how much you love them, then write 1 to your friend too & include your feelings about what she said.

I have to process what my loved ones say as part of the whole getting ready journey.

Edited November 13, 201411 yr by dw40