I will be having my surgery just 2 weeks before Thanksgiving. I guess I will still be on pureed or soft foods then and likely not eating much at meals at all. We weren't planning on doing anything special - we usually don't do the whole big turkey dinner since none of us really even like it and I have one kid who is a vegetarian, one who is lactose intolerant and one who won't eat any carbs and another who is just picky as hell. Yeah, holidays are always fun! Usually I just make a variety of appetizers and we graze all day.

But, I got a call that my son who lives far away that he is coming and bringing his girlfriend who we haven't met! So, now I don't know what to do? I don't know if she will be expecting a full traditional dinner or not. I don't even know if I will be up to cooking anything, much less a huge spread. I also haven't told my son about my surgery - he's always been critical about my weight and I expect some snarky comments from him that I just need to eat like him (he's always been naturally thin) or other ignorant remarks. But I guess that will be a bit hard to hide two weeks out, right?

I don't want to make things awkward for his girlfriend. So - what would you do? Would you tell him ahead of time? Would you plan on cooking a big traditional meal and trying to fake your way through it? We have also been invited to friend's for dinner that day if we all want to go there instead - in a way that would be nice since I wouldn't have to do all the work. Eating out isn't an option since there aren't any restaurants in our area that will be open. And I also worry I won't even know at that point what I can keep down and I don't want to chance losing my dinner in front of everyone!

Arrrggghhh!! Thanksgiving is really stressing me out!! Any advice would be highly welcomed!

MsUjima - I understand what you are saying about planning for the worst and then get pleasantly surprised if I feel better than expected. Good advice! Not having dinner here isn't an option, but I think if I turn everyone loose in the kitchen and let them share the cooking amongst themselves, it will be fine. I won't plan on doing any of it myself. My crowd is way too picky for me to please everyone anyway. My son actually loves to cook, so he might really enjoy an opportunity to show off his skills. :-) I think I will plan on resting and just enjoying everyone's company and let them do all the work.

Djmohr - thanks for the feedback about going anywhere. It is a little hard for me to wrap my head around that still. I was thinking earlier "we can stop for lunch somewhere after picking them up from the airport." So now, that doesn't sound like a good plan, does it? I guess a better plan would be have my husband go pick them up while I take a nap and rest up, and they can pick up something for lunch on the way here. I think I need to revise all my thinking about this and plan around me NOT to be able to do much of anything.

Just eat wat you are suppose to. Dont worry about pleasing others. Be yourself. Stick to your journey and happy thanksgiving.

I want to say ditto to everyone's comments. I also want to say if you are anything like me I didn't want to eat a single thing for weeks. I had some trouble making meals for my family during that time too. I just didn't want to smell or look at food. Also in case you are not feeling this way. You should make sure you have healthy choices in your program available. Put yourself first! I don't know if anyone else feels this way. I feel part of my weight gain was me not putting ME first! They may not understand all of this at the beginning. But when they see the person you become they will support you. I was only 3 weeks out and started doing so many things I hadn't done in 10 years! Wishing you luck for your surgery and the holidays.

I can so relate to gahannagal's comment " I didn't want to eat a single thing for weeks." I did not however, have any issue with making family meals. In fact, I had surgery less than a week before Easter and still put a meal on the table. The food didn't bother me, it was the level of energy that was my problem.

We all will deal with these kinds of situations at various stages in our journey. There is no right or wrong answer. There is only your choice. I cooked Easter dinner for my family because I wanted to. I skipped a class reunion picnic at my 3 month mark because I didn't think I could handle it. This weekend we had an early Thanksgiving family meal because people were in town and at 6 months I was able to eat everything and anything but dessert. It was about a small plate, and a spoonful of foods instead of a large plate with big portions. (I'm 6 months post-op)

The other thing I have seen is a change of attitude about food within my family. Your son is coming to visit and to introduce you to a girl. He's not coming to eat. Meals and food play a much less significant role for my whole family now that I am a WLS patient. I see the attitude change in all of us.