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well I told my parents..didn't go well

I finally told my parents yesterday. My dad was very supportive, my mom, not so much. My dad was honest that he didn't know much about it, but wanted me happy again. My mom (who works in the med field) told me to try different options, jenny craig, nutri system, etc. I told her I've done it all and it doesn't work for me, that's why I have done so much over the past year to get this surgery. We left lunch on 2 different pages, but at least it's out in the open. I just wish she would understand and support me.

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My mom has been the opposite - she has been pushing for this surgery. Every step of the way she calls and asks what is the hold up. I have had other medical issues she never mentions, but this has been her priority. My family is thin. I am the fat son, the embarrassment. Now that I have had the surgery its all about how much are you going to lose and how fast. There is a family reunion in July and she wants to make sure I will look good in the photos. She is so draining, that I simply avoid talking to her.

She drains me more often than not

Jeez! Family!

What I see often here is a desperate longing for acceptance from parents who truly don't seem to know or value their children. Yes, there are always parent-child generational differences. But so many of the parents I see described here have staggering boundary violation issues and uncontrollable compulsions to control their grown children's lives.

What mother goes through her grown child's mail! What kind of mother says, upon being told of pending surgery, "You know better!" Apparently, lots of people's mothers.

I'm so sorry. I hope you all know that you deserve better than that.

We are doing this for ourselves -- not for our mothers' approval.

may lighting strike me dead if i ever act like this with my kids... i have an 11 year old son who is about 17 pounds overweight. he has a pedometer that syncs with the wii u. i encourage him to move. i encourage him to eat more fruits and veggies and drink water instead of chocolate milk. he is doing well. is getting stronger and loves breaking his own recored with the pedometer. i pray i never act like an ass with him though. or my daughter. who is skinny as a rail right now, but so was i at 7. i hope i am never a parent who "drains" my kids.... i never want to be that parent.

Edited by moonlitestarbrite

Hello country girl. I have faced lack of support thus far as well with my husband. I am really hoping for support here.

Hello country girl. I have faced lack of support thus far as well with my husband. I am really hoping for support here.

Weezy, please try to set things right with your husband before you have surgery. The very best of wishes for you. My husband and I were sleeved together. I wish you happiness. Linda

<p>I finally told my parents yesterday. My dad was very supportive, my mom, not so much. My dad was honest that he didn't know much about it, but wanted me happy again. My mom (who works in the med field) told me to try different options, jenny craig, nutri system, etc. I told her I've done it all and it doesn't work for me, that's why I have done so much over the past year to get this surgery. We left lunch on 2 different pages, but at least it's out in the open. I just wish she would understand and support me.</p>

I went through the exact same thing with my parents. Dad just wants me to be happy and healthy again. My mom who is the one who is always on my case about my weight is totally opposed. If she can't be supportive I wish she would not say anything at all. It's so frustrating.

You are doing it for you and it will be the best decision you ever made. My heart goes out to everyone who doesn't have their families' support. I am thankful for my husband who has been awesome this past month since i was sleeved. I was afraid to tell my mom too. I am 66 and she is 88, but she saw it on abc news a couple of days before I told her and was all for it because she heard of the health benefits and the possible cure for diabetes. I am on my way!!!! I have already had my blood pressure med cut in half and am down from four injections of insulin a day to only one and a very low dose. It is ALL worth it!

Hello country girl. I have faced lack of support thus far as well with my husband. I am really hoping for support here.

Weezy, please try to set things right with your husband before you have surgery. The very best of wishes for you. My husband and I were sleeved together. I wish you happiness. Linda
LindaThanks. He does not believe in any surgery for weight loss and is overweight himself and diabetic! I do not want to become diabetic!

LindaThanks. He does not believe in any surgery for weight loss and is overweight himself and diabetic! I do not want to become diabetic!

Weezy, my husband has been diabetic almost 40 years. I got tired of calling rescue to him unconscious at 3 am, thinking he would die. When I was diagnosed diabetic and asthmatic, and weighed 220 lbs, I was terrified. I took him to a seminar and thank God they told me I qualified for the sleeve. I led my husband into sleeving and he is one happy man today, 90 lbs. down. Take care of yourself!!!! Linda

BTW Weezy I am off Metformin (after a year on it) and asthma inhalers.

  • 2 weeks later...

I finally told my parents yesterday. My dad was very supportive, my mom, not so much. My dad was honest that he didn't know much about it, but wanted me happy again. My mom (who works in the med field) told me to try different options, jenny craig, nutri system, etc. I told her I've done it all and it doesn't work for me, that's why I have done so much over the past year to get this surgery. We left lunch on 2 different pages, but at least it's out in the open. I just wish she would understand and support me.

I'm not telling mine either yet..I did say theyr going in an fixing my tummy an hernia. I didn't say weight loss was the side effect theyll figure that one out..haha: )

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