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June 2007 Bandsters



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Congrats on the 9 pounds Holli! Wow! Yeah, you probably don't need to get a fill, and you can enjoy your holiday dinner and keep eating in moderation and you'll do good.

Suzz, congrats on getting noticed! Someone noticed yesterday, and asked me privately (thank god) and I got flushed and started babbling about the Body Bugg I don't even have yet! I'm such a chicken when it comes to attention.

Thanks for the words about my dog Toni and Java. The grief I'm feeling is sitting on top of the grieving from my mom passing and it's coming up on the one year anniversary of her death on Nov 16. This time last year I was in the hospital with my mom for 5 days while she had her hysterectomy. Four weeks later she died of a pulmonary embolism (blood clot) without warning. It just all seems like too much sometimes. I always said I didn't know what I'd do if something happened to my dog....and I said the same thing about my mom. You just never know how your life can change in an instant.

Anyway.....still can't eat anything but I got some coffee down yesterday and then about 1/2 of a Protein Drink and some iced tea. Anything else has me running.

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Hello... Echo, echo, echooo....

So... everyone at work finally noticed my weightloss and congratulated me. At the time I was like "Yay, you noticed! Finally!"

But today I'm SICK of it! They all seem to think that now they can talk about my weight and weightloss freely. They talk about it amongst themselves and around me. They are all proud of me (none know about the band though, they just see what I"m eating and know I exercise)... but I"m tired of it now. Just tell me I'm doing good, that I look good, and MOVE ON! Don't badger me about it and make fun of my fat free yogurts and my Protein Shakes. I've been eating/drinking like this for 4 1/2 months now!! GET OVER IT!

Sorry. I'm all ranty and bad moody today.

Then tonight I was cleaning out my computer and found a letter I wrote to my mom just 6 days before surgery. It was my 'what if' letter, telling her why I chose to not only have the lap band, but why I didn't tell her and I left her all of my info like life insurance and car payment stuff... all my bill stuff and links and passwords to my online diarys and this place and stuff like that. Also directions on what to do with my stuff, like my cats and Teddy Bear and clothes and just random things like my digital camera, my computer, my shoes, my books, TV, etc... etc...

So depressing and it made me cry. Makes me wonder if I was willing to actually die in order to be thin.

And for some reason my port has been hurting me?

Bah. Hopefully its the full moon from last night that is killing my attitude...

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Make it an off-limits topic from now on Suzzie by responding in grunts. That's what I've done with my colleagues. I don't tell them how much I've lost. Save all that for here. I've lost 56 too which is totally awesome but I have a dreadful feeling that I'm about to come to a standstill. I've still been exercising but have been eating too much. I have to book another fill I think and make a commitment like giving up all sugar for several months or something like that. I just refuse to be this big any longer and will have to find a way not to be.

My biggest and most successful change has come from seeing the psychologist (just a few times). I am learning to defend myself and tell people how I feel and not taking any kind of mistreatment just because I'm obese. I've been honest with my boss about my workload and progress, have been working less unpaid overtime (so stupidly, still do it at least an hour a day but that's an improvement, believe me). I have also told people why I can't do their favour or take a call during my lunch break. I have been writing complaint letters, taking things back to stores, telephoning people left, right and centre. A big change for me but one that I need to keep doing.

Missy and Holly, you have done so well. 84 pounds is an incredible amount of weight. It must feel great to not have to carry that around. We want pictures when you reach 100 pounds off. Not long to go, I bet.

I hope everyone else is doing OK. Haven't heard from a lot of you much lately. I miss you guys.

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This site wasn't working for me all day today. Did anyone else have trouble? Hmmmm.

Well, I bottomed out again. I couldn't swallow Water Thursday, so I went for an unfill on Friday. She ended up taking out 1.0 cc so I could swallow. Twice that day I almost passed out, once with a customer that morning, and once during my unfill. I think I've gained six pounds back from fluids, but I'm okay with that. I think I was becoming disoriented. LOL I wish I could have toughed it out guys, but I can't put myself in danger. Now, I'm UNDER-restricted again. Damn.

Well, I'll try to get up some 60# pics before I gain all this back. No, no! Must think positive. Banish all evil thoughts!

MEDIETONE.jpgMEDIETTWO.jpgMEDIETTHREE.jpg

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I wanted to know how everyone is doing with working out their AB's. I try sit ups and cruchs but they make my port area sore. I started doing leg lifts and I feel fine for a few days but by 5-6days my port area starts to get sore. I just wanted to see what everyone else is doing.

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Wow Rhonda, you look great. You can see the difference all over. What a shame you're fill was too tight. I want mine a little tighter but I'm quite comfortable right now and can eat most things - then again, that's the problem.

CD, my port is a little rotated now and I think I did it from exercise. I use an ab machine at the gym and that's it (rowing machine probably helps too.) Even though I'm really overweight, I can actually see that my stomach might have a chance of going back to normal. The only area that I've done too much damage too is my upper arms. Luckily, there is an invention called 'sleeves'.

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Rhonda - You look great! - Yes, the site was off for EVERYONG ALL DAY YESTERDAY! Grrr!!

Captain Dan - My port gets sore if I bend over to tie my shoes some days. Lol. ut I still have a ton of fat too. As for abs, I go to the gym and use a few different machines that don't require bending all the way over, and focus on abs.

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Holli OMG 84 LBS!!!!!! that is so fantastic!! you are doing great. And 9LB LOSS you are an inspiration to us all!

Rhonda GREAT Photos!! But you need to :car:! You look great. I have not taken any photos just for this, but I will have to try and cut and paste some. I can understand the unfill, I don't know if I could go on to long with that situation. Keep us posted.

Suzzzie I can understand your struggle with the compliments at work. It is good and bad! You enjoy the comments but then the interigation can get to much! I try not to answer the " How much" ?? But focus on eating changes and exercise. then when you get compliments I feel good and it is a green light to cheat. So, I try to be aware of that.

insub I can understand the "stand still" first hand. I have been at 199 for a while, I lost 1lb and now I am at 198. BUT I have not been good with some of my choices either. this week I was tempted with M&M's and chips. So, I need to stay clear of foods that go down easy with calories!!

dan there are exercises that you can do other than the traditional crunch. Suzzie's recommendation is a good one, however if you are on the ship and have to comprimise, look up on the computer for other options. I can't recall off my senior brain right now!!

GO REDSKINS!!!! They will lose today, but I will still cheer for them!

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Good Morning Dan, Java, Insub, and All....

What're crunches? I can't see my abs!!!! :car:

Rhonda....you look AMAZING!!!! WOW!!!!!

Keep up the GREAT work, girl!!!

I'm getting my 3rd fill tomorrow....but I expect I'll be sliming and PB'ing more instead of feeling more restriction. I HOPE to heck I'm WRONG!!!!

HUGS to All!

Toni

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Thanks guys! I'm so embarrassed to put up my fat ugly pics, but I'm more encouraged every day. Java, I have a tiny smile in my last one! lol

Danbo, I haven't been working my abs at all. There was a class at my rec center that was excellent called Whitewater where we worked out in the deep end of the pool with a flotation belt and sometimes the foam things you hold in your hands to give resistance in the Water. Most of the exercises were fluttering in place and using your arms to "scull" the water or a cross-country movement. Having to stay upright in the water really worked out my abs and almost eliminated the back pain I have from a herniated disc. It was amazing how much that workout strenghened my core. I did it for 2 years, twice a week, 40 min workouts. When I wasn't taking the class, I would go at night and try to do the same workout by myself, but it wasn't the same. I would recommend that kind of workout highly. Something like tae bo would be good too. A long workout that focuses on core training.

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OK, 56 pounds down.. I decided to do up some pics yesterday. I don't see a huge difference, but I can see a little bit... Be kind. Lol

45monthprogress.jpg

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Lol... notice the BodyBugg in the pics from yesterday? haha...

Rhonda - maybe seeing my very awful fat pics will make you feel better about yours? Ha! You look great, btw.

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(sorry for multiple posts... just wanted to be all sad and rant that my freaking chicken that I have wanted ALL day is now stuck and making me miserable. :( )

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Suzzz, definitely smaller all over! Isn't it great? You are a very pretty girl. I like your ink. I can't wait for my BB (body bugg). I'm sorry your chicken is stuck. Ouch!

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