I am having surgery 4/13/7. I haven't told anyone but my husband and adult kids. Is keeping this under wraps possible? I don't want to be under a microscope with people judging me or giving me advice on something they know nothing about. Or even worse telling me horror stories of someone they know that died or is sick from weight loss surgery. For me it is a personal thing. Is this OK?

I told the people from work, only 1 person has been against it. Eveyone else has been encouraging and asking questions and learning from my experience and are excited for me that I'm starting a new life. Of course my family and close friends know as well. I didn't feel that I needed to keep it a secret. I was proud to be doing something positive and everyone around me has been positive as well, except for that 1 person at work, but hey she has her opinion and that's ok with me.

I think if you are positive and happy about it, you'll find that most people around you are happy for you and are very encouraging.

But you should do what is best for you. You know your family and friends best and how they will accept this decision for you.

I am also waiting for my " new life" to begin. And I have my fingers crossed that my ins. will approve. I agree that each person can only decide for themselves whether they share this info or not. I have choosen to tell only my husband and sister. Maybe afterwards my children will find out but for me it is better not to stress them with the thought of my surgery. And as for work.....I am in an a work situation that it is hard enough to get through then normal days without my co-workers knowing this about me. I am hard enough on myself and do not need the extra stress and judgement from them...Each person has to decide what is best for them.

it was difficult for me to tell anyone. at first, i only told those closest to me, my family of course was right there with me and my dearest friends were all a phone call away. i guess i didn't want to tell everyone because i've never wanted to admit to everyone that i'm the fat girl. i don't feel like the fat girl, i don't belive i act like the fat girl, but my health problems and self esteem demanded my attention. it was also hard to tell people because now, if i fail at this, everyone will know. i really believe that this was the best decision for me. i know i'll get there. but i don't want to have to explain myself to a million people if i haven't lost 100 pounds in six months. it's my decision, it was a difficult one. but everyone has been really really wonderful in supporting me. i'm very blessed.

I'm with you, Edie.

Most of the people I told have been ECSTATIC for me. They are nothing but supportive, and that just means I'll have a huge support group surrounding me post-op. It's been really nice seeing how many people are in my court.

Plus... it's not like it's some big secret that I'm fat. I mean... duh. It's right out there where everyone can see it.

When the fat goes away, and they ask my secret, I'm not going to lie. The lap-band is EVERYWHERE. Soon, knowing someone with a lap-band will be like knowing someone who's tried online dating. The kinda thing that sounds weird at first, but eventually, everyone's gonna try it.

Anyway, I am NOT pressuring anyone to open up the way Edie and I have. What you do is totally your business.

But... it saddens me to see so many people who are scared of what people might say or think. Screw those nay-sayers. Seriously.

You are doing this for YOU and no one else. Some jerk's remark won't throw you off the track if you are truly motivated.

Peace & Luv,

D

Yes, its okay if you don't tell anyone. Because you can still eat relatively normal just smaller quantities you will be okay.

I am telling every one im going in for my gallbladder .I think my self esteem cant take much more every time I see my mother in law she asks have you lost weight (knowing Ive gained)so I prefer to keep my surgery private telling only my husband and my 23 year old daughter ,My younger kids will just think had gallstones .I know I shouldent care what other people think but I do Plain and simple .

I've told my friends and family. I've gotten nothing but good support from everyone so far. The way i look at it is, they can either support me or keep their mouth shut. My body not theirs and i'm doing this to better myself. Everyone who knows me , knows i'm very opinionated and not afraid to speak my mind . So it might be the fear of my tongue lashings but ya know what ? I'm still excited about having it done and a few people i've talked to at work about it are interested in how it works. Of course i've been promoting the website since it has alot of useful information. But they said they would check the website and then see how i do with it before they actually make their decision on it.

I told only my boss, family and 3 close friends. Everyone at work just thinks I am just going on vacation. Heh, I told them I will mostly be 'lying around at home' which I am sure will be true. I never really decided to tell people or not, so I've stayed silent just because I don't know. On the one hand, I agree that keeping silent seems like you are ashamed. But on the other hand, SO few people understand how difficult it is for us to eat normally, and most have only heard the drastic stories of weight loss surgeries gone awry. Worst of all, I dread people trying to talk me out of it or convince me I don't really need it, ask if I've tried this and that diet, and tell me about their cousin's success with Atkins. I understand they will be good-intentioned, but it comes back to not understanding the severity of the problem that leads one to surgery. I don't want to have to defend myself OR cause people great concern. I think it's probably just more hassle than it's worth to tell people who don't need to know.

I've told everyone. I don't care. I can be pretty mouthy and if people give me a hard time about it, I will have a comeback in my back pocket. If people want to judge me for making a decision that will improve my health, I'm happy to let them.

That said, I did not tell my coworkers, because I had the surgery with just 2 weeks of work left (my last day is this Friday) and I was sure they would complain and urge me to wait (since we are constantly swamped). My motive was purely selfish: I am becoming self employed and I wanted the safety net of really good life & disability insurance covered "just in case."

Although I am waiting to be banded, the only people who know thus far is my fiance,and 1 friend. I will tell my parents when I have a surgery date, and I will make sure I tell my mom not to blab it to all our relatives either:kiss . The reason being is I don't want to have to constantly explain myself, explain what the procedure is all about, that it is not gastric bypass, and on and on. The reason I say that is because when I first started looking into this procedure about a year ago, I ran the idea across to most of my firends and family and I recived more negative comments than positive.

I don't want to be under a constant microscope either, you know, the "how much have you lost now?", whenever you see someone.

Maybe I will change my mind later on, but right now I don't feel that it's everyones business.

Thanks everyone for sharing. I plan on keeping it to myself at least for a while. However I do feel guilty about not telling my mom. She would freak out and worry.

I told my OH, and my best friend, who promptly told all of our mutual friends!!! ( Serves me right, as I didn't ask her to keep quiet!) and another friend who has said not a word to anyone else, her thoughts are that if I want to tell anyone else it's up to me (I wonder who is my BEST friend really)

I've not told my parents, or my teenage sons... I live in a small village and the whole village would know in minutes!

I don't want people watching everything that goes in my mouth all the time.... What I eat is nobody's business buy my own, I'm not accountable to anyone but myself!

I waited until just recently to tell the people I work with. I just got tired of keeping it a secret and wanted to share my wonderful experience!

Everybody was very supportive and glad I shared.

I told 4 Friends and my parents and thats it. I dont regreat my decision, i feel like other people wouldnt know what to say and it would make them feel awakward, and i felt as if they would judge me for not having diet success.

I can definately see both sides and would have to agree that you have to do what's right for you however, I have personal experience with both paths and can tell you neither way is perfect.

My mom had gastric bypass 5 years ago and told just us kids and our dad about the surgery. She swore us all to secrecy. As time passed and she lost weight of course people asked about the weight loss and her reply was just that she was eating better. Now that she has lost all the weight I think she would like to help other family members by telling them of her experience but she feels that it is too late into the game to spill the secret without being thought of as a liar.

On the other hand I had the lapband done last month and I told everybody I knew and even a couple strangers. I didn't want the "secret" life that my mom had. However, I do notice that inlaws and friends seem to watch what I eat a little more than I care for. In fact at Easter I got my butt chewed by my mother in law for eating mashed potatos because they have no nutritional value. This is something she would never have discussed with me before but I think because I was open about having my surgery she felt comfortable telling me what she thought. All in all, I don't like secrets and I can deal with critics in my own way, so for me "telling" was the best option. Good luck with your decision and I hope it works for you.