I'm looking into gastric banding and if I can get financing I'll probably do it. I have lost weight before (of course it always comes back:rolleyes: ) and I had a lot of people asking me questions, some people were speculating on what I was doing and others enjoyed telling everyone I was too skinny and needed help, come on people I was still 180 lbs after a 75 lb loss.

I am not looking forward to the questions. I will not be telling anyone if/when I get the band. I'm a terrible liar!

How do YOU deal with it in your individual situations?

I have not been banded yet (May 2) but I have chosen to tell just a few close people. To the others I will tell them that I am exercising and practising portion control.

Susan

I personally just told everyone---but have heard that many just tell a version of the truth---that they are eating less, and moving more. The biggest part of their questions will be in the pre-op and post op liquids stages, when you just quit eating. You might talk up a liquid fast diet you are going to do or something around that time so it isn't questioned.

I am such a terrible liar, I was afraid I wouldn't remember who knew and who didn't!!! I have not met with much derision with it. Possibly people I could care less about behind my back, but hell they were likely talking about how fat I was behind my bigger back---so I could care less!!!

Good Luck in your surgery, and with the questions!!!

Kat

It depends on who is asking... and why.

The ones who genuinely want to know because they want to try your method to lose weight - I tell them the truth and give them this website address to start researching.

The ones who are just asking to be polite or to be impolite, I tell them it's the countless hours on the elliptical machine. Everybody here at work has seen me eating raw veggies and lean meats - so most of them don't ask. Lots of them already know, anyway.

Honestly, I just don't get that many questions - cause the loss has been so gradual that only people who DON'T see me every day really notice - until they think about it a little.

Good Luck. If you don't make a big deal out of the surgery, most others will respond in kind.

Hugs!

so far, fortunately i havent had a lot of that. The few people i see these days, see me at the gym most every morning. Im hoping that will be enough later but i remember that it isnt always.

People can be very cruel.

If I had to do it over again I would not tell anyone, other than my dh, son, and mother that I was going to have it done. I should have learned this from when I was always trying to lose weight on diets before. DH family is so negative about anything and everything. Plus then you don't have people looking at you trying to figure out if it is working or not. Oh well live and learn. Diet Sabotage can be frightening. Psychologist said some well intentioned people might feel threatened if you are not the biggest person in the room anymore - can you imagine. good luck on your new adventure

Become a good liar; a very good liar.

Trust me on this one!

Yeah so far the only people who know I am even considering it are my Dh and my mom.

I'm not planning on ANYONE knowing. I like the suggestion of just saying I'm moving more and eating less........I guess that's the truth about it isn't it!

Thanks everyone

I agree with the lying..its only your business. The only people who know are my parents, dh parents and my two kids. Why does anyone else need to know? I dont feel like dealing with the food police and answering tons of questions about it RIGHT NOW. I will tell others when I am ready for them to know and only then. Thats my .02! I agree with whoever said people can be so cruel and I also agree that lots of people will be disappointed when I am not the biggest in the room and NOW THEY ARE!!:rolleyes :guess

I didn't tell anyone (except my family) until right before my surgery date. I decided to be more open about it after my surgery because it has been my experience that a secret is only a secret until you tell somebody. I didn't want to give the impression that I was ashamed of having the courage to take control of a problem that has plagued me for years. I am also a terrible liar.

One positive thing about telling others is that it puts more responsibility on me to be wise in my food choices because others are watching. One negative thing is that I sometimes feel pressure to be losing weight faster (even though I'm right on target with an average of 2.5 lbs per week). I think the pressure is more an internal thing with me than actually from others. I haven't had any negative reactions yet, but I'm sure there has been some talk behind my back about how expensive the surgery is and couldn't I have done it on my own? If anyone gets brave enough to say something to my face I will tell them that once they have educated themselves on the subject I would be happy to discuss it but until then Shutty!

Good Luck:)

Lie, lie, lie

I told everybody who would hold still long enough to listen....And mostly, everyone is supportive. However, I do have ONE person that I work with that has decided to take it upon herself to be my "food police". She asks me every day about whether I'm getting proper nutrition, and am I getting in enough calories, so that my body doesn't go into starvation mode, printing out her meal plan (she's also overweight, and trying to lose weight on a slim-fast type plan) and showing it to me every day.... It's getting pretty hard to hold my tongue, and not tell her off. I'm not even sure that she means well by what she's doing, because she sells vitamin and herbal supplements, and she's always wanting me to try this product or that protein powder.... I'm sick to death of it. I wish I'd never told HER. Everyone else is really supportive, though, so maybe I'll just tell her to bugger off....I'm tired of hearing about HER failed efforts, and having her try to push it off on me, too...BEEN THERE, DONE THAT...GOT THE T-SHIRT AND BURNED IT!

It's good everyone is supportive....

...and not to say this is happening to you...but I know of a "real-time" friend who told everyone...and to this day she "thinks" everyone is supportive BUT they are talking VERY badly about her behind her back and mocking her etc. I don't have the heart to tell her and never will. Of course, I defend her if I'm around when this happens. This is one of the many reasons I chose to keep it private.

I'm sure some really ARE supportive but like I said, they "act" supportive, but they really aren't and it is a horrible thing to be around them when they talk bad about her and her choice to do the surgery. She would die if she knew the whole truth.

Sad how people can be.

So.....remember....though you may tell people and they "say" they are supportive; it doesn't mean they truly ARE.

I've told my parents, DH and two friends that I'm considering it. My DH and parents will know when I finally get it, but I don't know if i'll tell my friends. It's no one's business and we have another woman at work who has had RNY and folks are always asking her about how much has she lost, is she gaining it back, why is she gaining it back, telling her she looks tired all the time, that she's pale, etc... (she is tired and she does look pale, but I'd never say that) I don't want the food police policing me, either. But I understand some people are helped by telling others and have supportive folks around them. I don't think that I do (at least not about WLS, they're all into WW, etc...), so I won't be saying anything.

The thing to remember about those people talking behind your friends back about her surgery, is that they were likely talking behind her back about her weight before. Those kind of people will always find something to talk about, negatively!

I am just very thankful to have the group of friends I do, as well as my family, and the rest I don't really concern myself with. I figure, I'll be laughing last---this time the weight is coming off---I am proving that. And thanks to this band it is staying off! Eventually they will find someone else to talk nasty about---probably each other---that's the way that type seems to work!

I have not met personally with anyone policing me about what I eat. Tonight was the first time anyone really even talked about it much, or watched me, and that was the restaurants fault! They lost my meal---so everyone else got theirs, and they had to resubmit my order! So they were all pretty much done---I didn't want them waiting and letting theirs get cold. So when I got mine, I was pretty much eating alone. We were out with 2 other couples---everyone knows about my surgery. One of my friends husbands ask me "Do you always eat this slow?" I told him yep, he said he had never noticed it before!

Another woman here in town is heading to surgery in June, and I know that she would not have done it without knowing that my friend and I had done it. When it comes to telling people, it is such an individual thing, just do what you are comfortable with. It is your life, and you need to be at ease with whatever you decide. Life with the band can present many a challenge, so there is no sense in inviting more stress!!

Good Luck in your upcoming surgery!

Kat

I was originally going to cop to an embarrassing female problem to cover for the surgery and odd post-op eating behavior.

However, I felt I owed my boss the real story, just in case something went wrong or I needed help while at work. His response was overwhelmingly supportive, "You must be so excited" he said.

I then felt that it would just be easier to tell everyone. Keeping track of who you've told, and who you haven't, or wondering if someone who knows told someone else....oh, it was just too complicated. Better to be open about it. For me, at least.

Alex

3 days post-op

feeling pretty good