Warning....complaining ahead....proceed with caution!

I'm just past my 18 month mark and I have noticed a significant drop in my motivation since that benchmark. I've worked extremely hard to this point but due to some external factors (dating life, work stress, family stress, etc) - the depression of why the hell am I doing this anyway keeps creeping in my head.

I have lost the feeling of "satisfied" sensation for the last 6 months. I do not have a 'stop' sensation AT ALL any more. I rarely PB with the exception of eating too late at night and getting the wake-up reflux coughing....but nothing comes up.

My fills have not 'restricted' me at all since the summer time - even though the PAs say that they do not want to close me down any more b/c it shows proper restriction. Now I am apprehensive to go get a fill because I fear that I have expanded my pouch and I am going to be left wide open and starving for weeks.

I know this is not a well thought of technique - especially here, but I have been supplimenting with phentermine to help with cravings and hunger since mid-January. I have dropped 20 lbs since then but am finding that I need higher and higher doses to keep the cravings at bay. In the last 2 weeks - I have laxed off on taking them.

I've allowed myself to start drinking 8oz of diet soda at full carbonation as of about a month ago (v. slowly at first - now a few per week) and have actually eaten 2/3 of a sandwich with bread. I've also allowed myself to eat dry Cereal - sometimes up to 2 cups.

Frankly, all of this scares the crap out of me but I cannot seem to stop myself.

Is anyone else battling with this?

I've read where others with longterm band have sensation issues - any advice on regaining it?

Thanks! ~T~

Thanks Jack!

I to have let the old demons in. My wieght loss ended 6 month after my surgery and I have gained 8 back. I know when I put it in my mouth I am doing something wrong but I can't seemed to stop. I was reading some of the threads and does it matter how much protien us bander get? May be if I eat more of the good stuff the bad stuff will not be such a demon.

You've come too far to give up and go back to unhealthy ways. Make an appointment to see the surgeon (not the PA), get whatever tests he/she orders and take it from there. Remember, you already ARE a success.

T,

I can relate to what you're experiencing, I was banded 17 months ago and have been up & down the motivation ladder. I'm also 35 and lately have tried to take a hard look at the habits that landed me here.

Stress is my biggest problem, I take on too many commitments and stretch myself too thin. Problems at work, and trying to manage a 10 yr old on my own -- I need to wake up and realize that I need to take better care of myself.

Don't beat yourself up over the recent food/drink habits, just try to do a little better every week. I've thought about going in to get my fill removed, then starting back slowly 2-3 weeks later. Is this what you're worried would leave you wide open? Have a bit of faith in yourself, you've done such an good job to be where you are now - you can do this? Remember in the beginning, how we weren't sure if we could survive 2-3 weeks on liquid, then mushies? but WE DID! Make a plan, then execute it!

All the best,

I'm 18 months out, like you. I relate to the ups and downs of motivation. I think that's a normal process, and wouldn't be so concerned about that.

Slipping into old behaviors, a little here, a little there...that's a concern, and you've rightly recognized it as one, so kudos to you for that!

One thing that has helped me in the past to get back on the path, is instead of conquering everything at once, I choose one thing to concentrate on. Doing that, it becomes manageable. Also, the other things start falling into line.

Suggestions: quit the diet drinks, add more water, get proper sleep, add more protein....you choose. Choose one.

If you are a new bandster reading this, please internalize these concerns now, so you plan ahead for these eventualities. They do happen.

Good luck, TexasRose....you can do this!

Although I'm a newbie...actually...Friday I'll be a newbie, a gal in my support group mentioned that she found it better to focus on things (she'd been out about the same amount of time as you) when she came to the group meetings. People to share ideas with as well as here on the boards.

Hope this helps. :girl_hug:

Thanks for all of the support. I don not have a dr right now. We are in the Army and my dr is in D.C. I will be goinging to a dr. in the middle of April for a fill. I haven't had a fill in 9 months or so. And then we will move in June to Oklahoma so I will need to find a dr. there. I also know some of my eating is depresion. We lost our 20 year old son to a hit and run 2Aril 2006 right after my surgery. So that has been a big problem this last year. Oh well I am glad I found this web site it helps to know there is still someone out there that is dealing with the same issues.

TexasRose,

Believe me, you are not alone in the struggles with motivation and as for sensation.......well, we all have our different sensations. There are similar descriptions of how we feel, but basically we all feel them very individually.

It's funny that you say you've lost your motivation and the timing of it is where you are because I myself lost motivation right around the same time you did (possibly a little before). I was stuck on a long plateau and got really down on myself and couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong. Some of my old habits started creeping back in. I got a really tight fill and that seemed to make everything worse. I didn't have a lot of PBing but darn did I get some reflux. I've had all the tests and my pouch seems to be fine (Thank God). Fortunately, I had some intervention of fate that led me to Dr. Roizen and Oz. I really learned some healthy eating habits that I could put to good use and I've (FINALLY) started exercising regularly.

I wish I could give you a magic pill or inspirational words to pull you out of this slump. But know that you are not the first, you are not alone and you are not the last. Know that you can come here for support. I did. It helped me to remember why I had the surgery and helped keep me from jumping off the cliff of binging all together.

I would highly recommend Dr. Roizen and Oz's YOU: On a Diet. No, it's not a diet. It's an explanation of how the body works, why we eat and how to eat healthy for life by incorporating very small and reasonable changes. It's what helped get me out of my rut, inspired me and helped me to lose about 15 pounds since December whereas I was stuck for about a year.

I hope this doesn't sound too much like a sales pitch. That was not the intent. I guess I just wanted to let you know that with online support like this, you're never alone. So many others are experiencing exactly the same things as you or have at some point. Don't give up. This is the best place to come when you need support and encouragement.

Dawn, I saw that book the other day at Barnes and Noble and thought it looked interesting. After reading your post, I think I am going to pick it up tomorrow.

Thank you all for your advice - I certainly appreciate it!! Sometimes it is just nice to actually read that other people are struggling the same way and how they overcame the temporary down time. I know we all experience it at different times but -for me - sometimes it just becomes overwhelming.

Stress is a HUGE trigger for me but it is a part of my life that I deal with every day - especially being self employed, an over achiever and single.

Best of luck to everyone dealing with the daily struggles - would love to continue to hear the ideas you all have about moving forward.

Tiffany

It sounds like you need a good fill. That is what I would do.