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I never thought I'd say this, but..

I'm really sick of everyone looking at my ass! Im a hair stylist and I've been very open about my wls... I mean, it's kinda obvious so why not? Now that I'm down 50 lbs (yay me) everyone is so generous with compliments and accolades. Great, I earned them, I'll take them. But, you know the way creepy perverts will look their prey up and down, like undressing you with their eyes? It's astonishing to me how many people blatantly do this to me daily. Creepy. Just sayin

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Stop lyin.......your're lovin it. That's what guys do. And that's what women dress for. Yeah, I know, it's all about the health, and eating right.....yada yada yada. You want to be looked at. We all do. Enjoy it. You earned it.

I know what you mean, Seela. Recycled, sorry but don't generalize. I for one hate being ogled unless it's by my husband.

lol

Edited by endless80

Sorry Misty, but generally, it is true. Women often dress to attract attention from the opposite sex. No, it is not true all of the time, but generally, I think Recycled is spot on.

Congratulations, Seela, on being down 50. I think we all go through some discovery phase when we notice people noticing us. There are many threads on here discussing this and it is one of those things most people don't give two thoughts to. But this is new behavior which has never or seldom been directed our way and it is, well, different.

Edited by PdxMan

Never knew how much being objectified by people - men and women - changes the way they treat you...I find it very sad that I am treated so differently now when I am still me inside

Objectification is what I believe I struggle with. I have gained weight to prevent this from happening and it's not healthy. I do plan to utilize my psychologist to help me with this. Some women love the attention no matter how it comes to them. I am a southerner that loves to be treated like a lady and not a piece of meat. Tell me that I look lovely today, or that what I am wearing is beautiful and I will respond in a polite manner. However, whistle, hound, stare at my assets, etc., you may get something otherworldly. I need to know how to deal with it mentally instead of reverting to food for cover or big baggy clothes.

  • Author

Stop lyin.......your're lovin it. That's what guys do. And that's what women dress for. Yeah, I know, it's all about the health, and eating right.....yada yada yada. You want to be looked at. We all do. Enjoy it. You earned it.

Haha! I wasn't talking about the guys... I was talking about the women that obviously feel threatened now that the fat chick looks good! Lol

  • Author

It's funny, , I never mind being looked at, its the blatant eyes up and down and all around by the women that's creeping me out. I expect it from the men and honestly I'm not quite at the point to get that type of ogling yet. This is more in your face sizing me up in disbelief and it's just down right creepy.

Sorry Recycled and PDXMan, but many women just dress nice, to look nice in general... Unkowing that it is an attention grabber to creepers.

Seriously, my husband told me a girl at work had come in during her off day in shorts abd he felt he needed to tell her not to do it again because it was distracting. Shorts?! I said. Good god, you can't have any skin out, or else!

Sometimes I think I'm fat for the comfort of knowing I'm not getting any of that.

For example, how would guys feel if we stared at your crotch to guess in your size? You wear pants that cut around it, so you must have asked for it?! Better wear an apron, or you're an attention seeker. Lol

I read something recently that resonated 'post WLS, I am still the same me, but with better marketing'. It made me laugh but also really hit the nail on the head. I do get more attention.

That said, I dress for myself, not for attention from the opposite sex. I want to look good because when I think I look good, I feel good. More confident, more upright, more able to meet others eye to eye. The attention is just a bonus ;-) It's all part of the biological imperative! But as I am well over and done with having babies, I don't have the biological drive to attract a mate!

I also think a lot of women dress more for the critical eye other woman give them than to attract the opposite sex.

I'm the queen of paranoia these days. My mind hasn't caught up with my body, so when people look, I instantly think 'oh lord, have I got lipstick all over my teeth?' 'Have I spilt tea down my font?' More often than not and now men glance, my internal dialogue says 'WHAT are you looking AT?!'... This might be accompanied by a defensive 'stare down' moment. I don't like it. Being invisible worked for me. I feel like my privacy has been invaded :(

  • Author

I wasn't all dressed up at a light club. I was at work so nice jeans a blouse and an apron... nothing fancy. Certainly I dont think about dressing for men as I work in a women's (mostly) hair salon. This thread has gotten way off topic. But if I was getting dolled up it would be for myself and my husband. Unfortunately I do have to actually put clothes on and brush my hair to go to work. Man or woman it's still creepy when I'm blatantly looked up and down like a freak.

So wrong about women dressing for the opposite sex. Actually kind of a conceited thought to think we are that worried about how men perceive us...ok, teenage girls do, but not grown women. We care more about what other women think about us, lol. Regardless people staring and looking you up and down are rude.

I agree, dressing for men is not true. When I'm buying nice clothes, putting on flattering clothes, doing my hair and makeup, I'm never thinking "I bet this attracts guys!" Even if I'm not thinking it, it's very far from the truth. Looking nice daily has absolutely nothing to do with male attention. Looking nice makes you feel good and more confident....which just makes your day a little happier in my opinion. Makes you not so self conscious. To the OP, I know what you mean about the "stare you up and down" thing, even from women, and it is certainly a little creepy. :)

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