I got my feelings hurt...no really stabbed in the heart yesterday and have been fighting the urges to eat BAD, real bad sugar and lots of it. That was my coping mechanism before surgery and I don't know how to handle these hurt feelings now. I have already done the things I thought would help...worked out, wrote thoughts down in the journal, talked to a trusted friend but so far nothing is taking away my urges to stuff it down with food. I thought ... go to the forum where others like yourself might be able to help. So HELP me comrades in the fight to be healthy, both body and mind !!!

Is it possible to allow yourself a few bites of something without sliding? Sometimes it is, sometimes it's not. I just worry that if you succumb to the food, you will feel even worse. (Like when any addict comes down from the high.) I don't know if I am very helpful here, but I know how you feel, and I hope you will feel better soon!

Good for you for recognizing whats going on and addressing this in a healthy way! So pat yourself on the back for that! My recommendation would be to get busy doing things that will distract you from continuing to think about whatever it was that upset you. You have journaled and you have vented to friends, so if you have said all there is to say, then just try not to let yourself obsess over rehashing it over and over. The best way to do that is to move on and occupy your thoughts by turning your attention to other things. Get involved with whats going on in hte life of friends or family, and talk about whats going on with them, or start a project of some sort --- anything that will get yourself out of your own head and into thinking about other things.

Best of luck and happy holidays!

I got my feelings hurt... stabbed in the heart have been fighting the urges to eat BAD

laners777

oh no - who said something mean to you bud??

you didn't deserve it!!!

you've done so well these past months!!!

but.............when things get upsetting/problems et al

your/my brain can go backwards trying to tell you eating those one or two cookies couldn't possibly hurt

easier said than done, but if you give in to the jerk that was mean to you/or any problems - by eating poorly

then "they" win!!!!

ahhhh ha they can think

woo hoo, got the best of her, now she's gonna eat - boy did i win!!!

you have done so wonderful

don't give in to whatever is going on (boyfriend situation?? or whatever)

you've lost 82 lbs!!!!!

thats terrific

try not to let someone/something bring you down

i know personally too that its easier said than done

take care

good luck

kathy

congrats

My heart goes out to you. This journey is way harder than I thought it would be! You've already came a long way just by recognizing it! Repeat your positive things ( work out, journal, talk to a friend. ) Also, it won't be the end of the world if you do give yourself something food wise to feel better. The problem is when you overdo it. There is no shame in food! Love yourself right now. Don't beat yourself or punish yourself. Positive self talk will help too! You are strong and good and you can do this!

Laners,

We got you, I know how hard it is not to stuff this hurt and sadness down with food. But I'm so proud that you are here talking about it.

We now need the courage to sit with our sadness to hold it out in front of us look at it, recognize it, go through it..

Sitting with our sadness and hurt takes the courage to believe that we can bear the pain and the faith that we will come out the other side.

With courage, allow yourself to cycle through the hurt with full permission to experience it.

Edited December 24, 201312 yr by laura-ven

Some might not consider this productive.. But if it is possible - don't feel hurt - get angry.

Take the energy you get from being angry and do something productive with it; decorate the house, clean the kitchen, steam your floors, take down the curtains and wash them. Might seem a bit bonkers, but not only do you vent some of those feelings out, you're left with a beautiful sparkling house. I think the official term for this is 'displacement' activity.

In my experience, the moment I stop is the moment I wallow and the moment I reach for something -anything.

Go, fly my pretty.. duster and bleach in hand, scrub the ever living hell out of something and rationalise what happened whilst you're doing it. You'll feel much better.

Those macadamia encrusted chocolate truffles just won't have the same positive effect... in fact, they will just compound matters and make you feel worse.

Stay strong x

Some might not consider this productive.. But if it is possible - don't feel hurt - get angry.

Take the energy you get from being angry and do something productive with it; decorate the house, clean the kitchen, steam your floors, take down the curtains and wash them. Might seem a bit bonkers, but not only do you vent some of those feelings out, you're left with a beautiful sparkling house. I think the official term for this is 'displacement' activity.

In my experience, the moment I stop is the moment I wallow and the moment I reach for something -anything.

Go, fly my pretty.. duster and bleach in hand, scrub the ever living hell out of something and rationalise what happened whilst you're doing it. You'll feel much better.

Those macadamia encrusted chocolate truffles just won't have the same positive effect... in fact, they will just compound matters and make you feel worse.

Stay strong x

Brilliant advice! I love this!

Lol @ revs!

I was just telling my husband about this..

Anger! My family is experiencing a bit of anger from me now because if I get angry I show it (not by cleaning though ) and they feel the wrath of laura-ven!! But I'm not stuffing...so they will live and so will I!

Oops, poor family!

I tend to try and vent mine against inanimate objects - like the bath, with a scrubbing brush. If I have to 'engage' with humans when I'm angry, particularly the 'offender' my tongue can be quite unrelentingly vicious.

Clean floors all round? Don't mind if I do!

I knew I could count on all of you !!! Thank you for the great advice but most of all being there and answering the holler for help. Knowing I'm not the only one who still has a dependence on food for comfort is well....comforting. Going to the cleaning cabinet now to see how good the house can look, going to attempt Laura's advice to work through the pain and sadness...whew even writing those words....positive self talk is a good one too. Kathy the different faces on your posts always makes me laugh. Thank you again to everyone who responded....the people here really are the BEST.

Laura...I am the opposite of you. When I get mad/upset, I get quiet and build it up inside until I feel like I'm gonna bust. Quiet, passive/aggressive is what my husband calls it...well he really calls it crazy quiet but that's a whole different post At the point I am ready to let it out and talk, he is way over it and doesn't know what's coming at him. Amazing how I can be so open and upfront with people in so many ways, until I get hurt or angry and then I run or now my mind runs to food. I hope as I keep losing and avoiding old habits, I can figure this all out along the way. Maybe I should design some signs to wear like "Beware, pissed/hurt/upset, cleaning in progress-stay away" or "DARE to ask my why I'm mad" ... I'm sure there are better ones but not appropriate for this site:)

Laners my being vocal (and a couple of weeks ago a little to vocal one day) is new...

I would take it all quietly and stuff. I'm now trying to find a more balanced approach with dealing with those around me. Not lashing out but not holding in and stuffing either. I explain all these feelings too with the family so they kind of understand the process a bit

Sorry for late reply....I have been cleaning and walking and spending time with kids. No eating bad sugar as of yet, and I am so relieved because I am an all or nothing person. Almost time to do Santa and go to bed. I believe I, with the help of all of you, have made it through the day. Thank you all again!!! Merry Christmas.

Laura - interesting your evolution in the sleeve process...I wonder how many people have progessed like that. I have been sitting here thinking how scary it will be to express my feelings as they are happening but how liberating it could be too, and maybe add years and perhaps less wrinkles to my face That might be an interesting post, probably has already been done....how has ones personality, ways you deal with people, especially difficult ones, changed since you had surgery?

Oops, poor family! I tend to try and vent mine against inanimate objects - like the bath, with a scrubbing brush. If I have to 'engage' with humans when I'm angry, particularly the 'offender' my tongue can be quite unrelentingly vicious. Clean floors all round? Don't mind if I do!

I'm right there with you on this one...my tongue can be BAD for the 'offender' it's best I don't say anything to them for a while...cleaning...I do that too when I'm angry...apparently I'm not angry enough ;-P

Laura...I am the opposite of you. When I get mad/upset, I get quiet and build it up inside until I feel like I'm gonna bust. Quiet, passive/aggressive is what my husband calls it...well he really calls it crazy quiet but that's a whole different post At the point I am ready to let it out and talk, he is way over it and doesn't know what's coming at him. Amazing how I can be so open and upfront with people in so many ways, until I get hurt or angry and then I run or now my mind runs to food. I hope as I keep losing and avoiding old habits, I can figure this all out along the way. Maybe I should design some signs to wear like "Beware, pissed/hurt/upset, cleaning in progress-stay away" or "DARE to ask my why I'm mad" ... I'm sure there are better ones but not appropriate for this site:)

When I'm hurt, I don't wanna talk about it for a while either...but angry...pfft...watch out!!!

I hope it all works out for you:)