When Life Gets In The Way Of The Sleeve

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

That is beautiful.

[bobheist 85]

At the beginning of my body change the sleeve and attending concerns enveloped the majority of my attention. The struggle to get it going, establishing guide lines, noting progress, mourning slow downs, and in the end, rejoicing exceedingly about my new body. Now, coming up on my second year, my attention is being diverted by life itself. I am maintaining near my low weight and activity is at athletic level as I promised myself at the beginning. I had an empty feeling period when I asked myself the question, "Now what?" This new body is just a part of who I am. It is no longer a hindrance, it now best serves me by not drawing attention to itself. It has become a vehicle to take my mind and soul to destinations and tasks. I have energy to express my heart and my body no longer blocks my reaching out. I no longer have my body to use as an excuse for inactivity and introversion. I no longer hide behind shame. Now is the time to explore the other parts of myself and my relationship with those around me and the world in general. I have made a friend of myself and in so doing have deemed what love I have to offer as worthy to be shared. I have discovered that giving love is the quickest path to getting it. I have a default eating, drinking, and exercise policy. I may step out for a bit but return to default quickly. I don't kick my butt for it, I am my friend now. If I don't have fun being me I won't be any fun to be around. My grown daughter called me contagious the other day. It was one of the best things my ears have ever heard.

Best thing I've read in a long time.

[McButterpants 2,846]

My family has been so supportive pre-op and post-op. But there are times that I feel...I don't know the word I'm looking for. Disjointed. Not complete.

We're not in sync as a family since I returned home from surgery. I feel disconnected - not only from meal times, but the family in general. This is all new and I'm trying to figure it out. That hasn't been easy along with the recovery from surgery. I can't eat what they are eating most of the time. When I put my husband in charge of their meal, he picks up a pizza. I'm pissed at that because, "Jesus, can't you put forth more effort than that?" But then I don't want to be Debbie Downer, because let's be honest, don't we all want pizza? My son was playing with the dog the other night and she jumped up on my stomach and it hurt because my incisions are still tender - yeah, fun time is over because mom's in pain!

Tonight we're back to having game night to try to get back to some kind of normalcy. As mentioned above...BALANCE.

[NothingUpMySleeve 244]

The post above about feeling like a non-person just hits so close to home. Sometimes I am startled when I catch my reflection, not just my fatness, but at the fact that oh yeah, I'm still here. I am an actual person and not just the sum of all things I need to get done in a day. Getting sleeved will be my most selfish act in years and I can't wait.

[gmanbat 5,889]

The post above about feeling like a non-person just hits so close to home. Sometimes I am startled when I catch my reflection, not just my fatness, but at the fact that oh yeah, I'm still here. I am an actual person and not just the sum of all things I need to get done in a day. Getting sleeved will be my most selfish act in years and I can't wait.

Good for you! Fight for yourself, you are worth it!

[No game 14,437]

The post above about feeling like a non-person just hits so close to home. Sometimes I am startled when I catch my reflection, not just my fatness, but at the fact that oh yeah, I'm still here. I am an actual person and not just the sum of all things I need to get done in a day. Getting sleeved will be my most selfish act in years and I can't wait.

I felt the same way.. Isn't it odd that we find doing something to take care of ourselves as a selfish act?? Well if that's what it takes:)

I do think as mentioned by several in this thread I can only be better for me and my family if I do things to take care of myself..

Like I said now I need to figure out a balance that works.

[ribearty 544]

I am very fortunate to have a great support system with my family. When I first got home my husband would ask me, "Do you mind if I eat this?" My answer to him was, "Just because I had weight loss surgery, doesn't mean you can't eat things."

My biggest problem is I have been averaging a 50 to 60 hour work week for most of this year. I returned to work full time on 11/11 and have yet put in a 40 hour work week. This makes it difficult to exercise. I have had to plan and take food with me. In the past I would get in the office around 8 a.m. and sometimes not leave until 10 p.m. or later. I didn't know when I left that morning that I would be there. Prior to surgery, I would buy something from the vending machine. I knew that this would be an obstacle for me after surgery, and knew that the long hours would still be happening so I made sure to plan for it.

Life gets in the way of lot of things. You have to make the best of it or learn from previous times so you make a better choice the next time.

Laura, you have done a fantastic job this past year and I know you will continue into year two. I know for me I will have to plan for awhile until these good habits become automatic. Even with that I will need to examine and make sure that I stay on the path with the best decisions. Since I am a revision patient, I look at this as a second opportunity and want to make the most of it. I believe that by not following the rules and thinking I knew more about what I could eat contributed to my situation. It is time to put the pride away and listen to someone else who has helped others be successful with their weight loss surgery.

[CowgirlJane 14,261]

Such an interesting topic to consider. When I was around 4months post op my NUT had me stop tracking. It was scary but she wanted me to move away from the perfection mode toward sustainable, natural listening to the body. It still makes me nervous at times,but I have done well...sorta keeping track of Protein and carbs in my head. I am diligent but not precise and it seems to work. It makes 5:2 hard since I only have a rough idea of calories but it still worked.

[Seela 1,187]

Every response here has been so interesting. The only person I know of who found balance perfectly was Mr Miagi. (?)... I keep extra Protein Shakes at work along with pouches of tuna and beef Jerky. I dont have to worry about them going bad. I involve my kids in everything I do. They help me plan my meals, add up my Protein and exercise with me. I see it as a way to teach them healthy habits and a way to spend more time with them. I sit at the table with them..m even if I'm not eating the same things. I'm not perfect and I'm not striving to be. Perfect is boring and unsustainable. I got the sleeve because I just want to live. Yes, sometimes life gets in the way... but it's supposed to. What else would we have to remind us how lucky we are? ... btw ... I love you guys

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

The post above about feeling like a non-person just hits so close to home. Sometimes I am startled when I catch my reflection, not just my fatness, but at the fact that oh yeah, I'm still here. I am an actual person and not just the sum of all things I need to get done in a day. Getting sleeved will be my most selfish act in years and I can't wait.

Couldn't agree more. And we do have to fight for it…I wish it wasn't that way but sometimes it really seems like it is.

And somewhere I do think our families want us to succeed. Like us, they are afraid when the status quo gets shaken up. I've heard everything from "There is no food in the house; I guess because you aren't eating we don't" when there is PLENTY of food in plain sight, to "We can't go out to dinner anymore…" which is also not true. I see it for what it is. Complaining about things being different because of a fear that everything is changing around them. We will get to our new normal as a family in addition to our having personal new normals...

[Arts137 1,811]

What a WONDERFUL thread.

Historically, the stress of work has been my nemisis. Not this time, I shall retire very soon, for LOTS of reasons, but a big one will be to permit me to focus on me without the work stressors.

And every day is planning, is work, every day, so, to quote from Happiness Stan:

he ploddy- ploddy forward into the deep thunder-mould of the complicating Forrie to sortin' it this one out, matey.

[Idlewood4 93]

Thank you all for sharing. I had a band journey, and now I have a sleeve journey. I know from the band that it is not all easy peasy beautiful. It's a struggle and emotionally challenging. I'm 2 days out of my sleeve surgery and find myself scouring these boards. You are real, you are honest, and I'm proud to be able to share my journey with all of you. I realize I'm not alone in this battle, that others have done it, are doing it, and are, despite it all, winning the war. I don't even "know" you folks, but I value and honor your input, honesty and caring. Big group hug!

[endless80 697]

I have to be honest here, because you all know I am honest. I have NOT been closely monitoring myself as I should. I don't measure or weigh. I haven't been counting Protein grams or liquid intake. I have been living. And yes, it is probably not the best way to proceed. But I am just the person I am, no more or less. When I learned to drive I was so focused on the lines on the road and lining everything up just right that I damn near wrecked several times. I get anal about things. But when the day came I thought " I am just going to point myself down the road and go, and try to stay in my lane" I got it. I have never had a ticket and the only wreck I have been in was caused by another. That is sort of how I am living with my sleeve. I am just pointing myself down the road and trying to stay in my lane. I pick healthy 98% of the time. ( And I won't lie to say I NEVER eat something I should not, because I have) I eat Protein first, and in many cases it is all I have. I still cannot consume a "meal", just an entrée. At times my mind gets carried away and I think I am eating like a horse. Then I stop and really ponder what has gone in my mouth and realize it is really, really not as bad as I was giving it credit. I drink when I can, period. I tend to drink more week days sitting at my desk because it is routine. On the weekends I don't do quite as well. But I can tell from my own body signals when I need more and when I am hitting the mark. And I have been very strongly working on getting ALL my Vitamins in daily. Again, easier on week days than week ends. Could I be doing better? Sure. I will be the first to admit I have not followed the rules of the sleeve down to the last letter. But have I been trying hard? Yes. Will I continue? Yes! Am I human? YES!!!! We all are. And to thine own self be true. No one is accountable for anything but me. I live with the body, I live with the consequences. I know I have to fight this fight, and I am. I completely understand the overwhelming feelings being a food addict brings with. I will face them the rest of my life, as I have to this point. The thing is now I feel I can do this, I can win. And if there was any way I could give strength to anyone out there who needed it, I would in a heartbeat.

You and I are very similar in our approach to this new life. So far it's worked out for me but I know in the future the belt will need to be tightened a bit when it comes to food and balance. I am prepared for that. I am also the same about Water. The majority of my Water is consumed during the week at my desk. I kind of rely on it because on the weekend I don't consume nearly as much. Like Laura said above, I'll go days where water hasn't crossed my lips until the afternoon. Unless it's coffee.

[endless80 697]

Oh, Laura... great post. Honest. Thank you.

[Nurse_B 270]

I also consider myself a food addict. I think about food constantly, before and after the sleeve. I feel lonely with the sleeve, because I can't come home pop open the fridge and binge my head off. I want to just go through the drive through, or eat a normal dinner. I sometimes feel bad that I have to count Water intake or Protein. I feel blessed to have the opportunity to lose weight, but this is hard. I actually get mad when I feel full and I can't eat anymore, my head is screaming that I am still hungry, it's not enough!! I am scared that once I am able to eat, I will fail at this. I feel like the only thing stopping me from eating poorly is the fear of harming my sleeve. I am working on these issues, but it is difficult sometimes to come on here and see so many people absolutely love their sleeve and love their lives, like their road is really easy. I do love the sleeve, and I do love my life. But sometimes I just want to say THIS SUCKS, but I fear people will dog on me for that. I'm not ungrateful, I am frustrated and yes, whiny, and being a baby about stupid things. Thank you for your post, it's nice to know other people feel the sleeve can be all encompassing. Also, if one more of my co workers ask if I can have this or that yet (all bad foods), I am going to scream.