One Year Since My Decision To Have Lapband Surgery: Thoughts And Photos

[parisshel 1,892]

On December 11, 2012 I had my first appointment with the bariatric surgeon who would, four months later on March 20, 2013, install a lapband around my stomach. This decision and surgical action was major and dramatic, but I was sad and desperate as well as exhausted, defeated and no longer willing to buy into the fallacy that I could do this without surgical intervention. So I lay down my previous weapon: the cycle of "traditional" dieting which I had been believing in and paying into since I was 14 years old. Traditional dieting was so clearly not working for me; I had lost and regained weight my entire life and I no longer had the energy to do one more round at Weight Watchers, filling up on salads and bulky foods to keep my hunger at bay, gaming the points program so I could work in a dessert each day, hanging on by my fingernails from one meal to the next, and fearing vacations, birthdays, holidays, as I knew these would either see me feeling frustrated and deprived, or overeating because "hey, I've already gone over my points. Might was well start back on Monday."

I had done hours of research and had a good idea of what lay ahead. I had a few fears as a pre-op, notably the fear that I would no longer be able to "eat as much as I wanted" when I wanted. I also feared the surgery itself (I try and stay out of hospitals as much as possible) but I was willing to override these anxieties to become one of those people that I see here, on this forum: a success story, transforming myself inside and out.

I had made a list of why I was doing this and I brought that to the hospital where, the night prior to the intervention, I read and re-read my hopes for this surgery. I was ready, peaceful and in a mindset of self-care when they wheeled me to the OR the next morning.

I am now 8.5 months post-op, almost 50 pounds lighter than I was on the day of surgery. It goes without saying that I am happy to have back a more aesthetically-pleasing exterior, renewed energy and mobility, and a load of self-confidence.

My original fears about surgery were unfounded: the lapband gives me a physical restraint to overeating, certainly, but it also has an effect on my brain and how I view food now. ( I call it the nicotine patch for the stomach as it dims the appetite much like the patch works for smokers.) I should not have worried about missing the ability to stuff myself, as that is of no interest to me today. (Just the thought of that makes my band tighten!) I am free from the dieting mindset that I must seek bulky, filling foods or I'll cave and break my "diet" because my lapband clicks in and gives me satiety when I eat my small portions of lapband-compliant foods. I don't have to log points or calories, and restaurant dinners, parties, vacations or holidays are not viewed as opportunities for white-knuckling deprivation or, alternately, opportunities to go off my eating plan and eat all the cake, Cookies and candy that I can, "until Monday."

I have experienced so many unexpected benefits as the result of my decision and the most striking is this wonderful sense of fierceness that I now have. I feel so strong, capable and confident! This fierceness has manifested itself in many ways. Physically: alongside my daily dedicated exercise, I now do aquagym and ride my bike each weekend when I'm out in the countryside--26 km logged last weekend through the fields of Normandy! Mentally: I travel out of my comfort zone--last month I went to Morocco, a place I'd always dreamed of going to. Professionally: I seek opportunities to speak publically and am involved in more professional conferences, meeting others in my field which has the effect of re-energizing my own committment to my job.

I am so grateful that I did not try and convince myself to give Weight Watchers (or another diet program) "just one more try" last year. I know as surely as my heart is beating that I would weigh more today than I did last year at this time had I not had surgery. Instead, I am looking towards this Christmas season in deep gratitude for my self-care, not fearing the supermarket aisles filled with chocolates, buttercream buche de noel (that was a real binge food for me pre-surgery), and special holiday foods. I know that I will eat peacefully, enjoying my small portions of delicious food, and I won't be waking up on January 1st feeling fat and guilty, and embarking on another futile attempt to diet and "do it for good this time."

Edited December 10, 2013 by parisshel

[kll724 3,055]

Wow! Congrats, you Hottie! Looking good! Karen...aka.Kll724

[Leepers 1,195]

Wow. Thank you so much for posting your story and thank you for posting it on the preop forum where all of us preop and recent bandsters would see it. We so often focus on our fears of change and forget the positives of change. Stories like yours help us focus on the future we can look forward to instead of obsessing over the short term.

[Leepers 1,195]

Aargh! My phone won't let me edit my post. This wasn't in the preop forum. Lol. Still loved it!

[gowalking 10,790]

Wonderful post! Congrats on all your successes.

[mrsto 2,925]

You look absolutely beautiful! Well done…. Thank you so much for posting; very articulate and heartfelt.

When you talk of the numerous attempts with Weight Watchers….and all that goes with it, I felt that you were writing my story….to the T! I've always said that I should be a stockholder in that company…..all the money I've paid in…for nothing! And yet I did it one more time while I was making my decision to have WLS. I lasted about three days. I too, feel a sense of peace that I no longer feel the need to go down that road. It is liberating, to say the least

[Bandista 7,466]

Oh Shel, what a wonderful post! Thank you so much. Like the others, I felt you were echoing my own story. The starting over on Mondays, huge salads, WW deprivation, etc. Love the way you talk about "peaceful eating" as that is what I'm finding now, peace. And here's to the fierceness, a passion for self, for making good choices, for exercise!

The pictures are marvelous -- what a difference 50 pounds make. You look so happy and healthy, truly comfortable in your body. Congratulations on achieving this goal!

A friend of mine has a very funny comic on her fridge, the early morning roundup of overweight women in Paris. Thought you'd get a chuckle out of that.

Thanks again for such an inspiring post!

[B-52 7,113]

I too failed at every diet because I always rationalized my way around it....I'll pig out today, then fast for the next 3 days, etc, etc...

But this is SURGERY....I have yet to find a way to cheat....other's say they can with sliders and such, or eat around the band, but believe me, if I could have found a way, I would.. and I have tried....and surrendered to the fact that this is something different than another diet....

[catfish87 3,471]

Parrishel,

Congrats on your success and thanks for the incredible post! May you continue to enjoy your new life and keep coming back here to offer your inspiring words. What a great story! Best wishes

[chasingadream 1,311]

Thank you for sharing your story....I feel like I could copy and paste it to my profile and just sign my name at the bottom for that is exactly what i went through with weight watchers since high school and how I feel now after losing 55 lbs and counting!

Wishing you continued success and you look FABULOUS!!

[mrsto 2,925]

LOL - ever since WW offered the online option, it became so easy to simply "sign up". ALWAYS on Mondays, though Such a wonderful sense of peace, not continually going through that exercise.

[joaniet 11]

thank you for the inspiration! I have a consult in january, looking forward to a new me!

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!

Congratulations to you. What a wonderful tool this has been for you.

Inspiring!

Ann

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,721]

On December 11, 2012 I had my first appointment with the bariatric surgeon who would, four months later on March 20, 2013, install a lapband around my stomach. This decision and surgical action was major and dramatic, but I was sad and desperate as well as exhausted, defeated and no longer willing to buy into the fallacy that I could do this without surgical intervention. So I lay down my previous weapon: the cycle of "traditional" dieting which I had been believing in and paying into since I was 14 years old. Traditional dieting was so clearly not working for me; I had lost and regained weight my entire life and I no longer had the energy to do one more round at Weight Watchers, filling up on salads and bulky foods to keep my hunger at bay, gaming the points program so I could work in a dessert each day, hanging on by my fingernails from one meal to the next, and fearing vacations, birthdays, holidays, as I knew these would either see me feeling frustrated and deprived, or overeating because "hey, I've already gone over my points. Might was well start back on Monday."

I had done hours of research and had a good idea of what lay ahead. I had a few fears as a pre-op, notably the fear that I would no longer be able to "eat as much as I wanted" when I wanted. I also feared the surgery itself (I try and stay out of hospitals as much as possible) but I was willing to override these anxieties to become one of those people that I see here, on this forum: a success story, transforming myself inside and out.

I had made a list of why I was doing this and I brought that to the hospital where, the night prior to the intervention, I read and re-read my hopes for this surgery. I was ready, peaceful and in a mindset of self-care when they wheeled me to the OR the next morning.

I am now 8.5 months post-op, almost 50 pounds lighter than I was on the day of surgery. It goes without saying that I am happy to have back a more aesthetically-pleasing exterior, renewed energy and mobility, and a load of self-confidence.

My original fears about surgery were unfounded: the lapband gives me a physical restraint to overeating, certainly, but it also has an effect on my brain and how I view food now. ( I call it the nicotine patch for the stomach as it dims the appetite much like the patch works for smokers.) I should not have worried about missing the ability to stuff myself, as that is of no interest to me today. (Just the thought of that makes my band tighten!) I am free from the dieting mindset that I must seek bulky, filling foods or I'll cave and break my "diet" because my lapband clicks in and gives me satiety when I eat my small portions of lapband-compliant foods. I don't have to log points or calories, and restaurant dinners, parties, vacations or holidays are not viewed as opportunities for white-knuckling deprivation or, alternately, opportunities to go off my eating plan and eat all the cake, Cookies and candy that I can, "until Monday."

I have experienced so many unexpected benefits as the result of my decision and the most striking is this wonderful sense of fierceness that I now have. I feel so strong, capable and confident! This fierceness has manifested itself in many ways. Physically: alongside my daily dedicated exercise, I now do aquagym and ride my bike each weekend when I'm out in the countryside--26 km logged last weekend through the fields of Normandy! Mentally: I travel out of my comfort zone--last month I went to Morocco, a place I'd always dreamed of going to. Professionally: I seek opportunities to speak publically and am involved in more professional conferences, meeting others in my field which has the effect of re-energizing my own committment to my job.

I am so grateful that I did not try and convince myself to give Weight Watchers (or another diet program) "just one more try" last year. I know as surely as my heart is beating that I would weigh more today than I did last year at this time had I not had surgery. Instead, I am looking towards this Christmas season in deep gratitude for my self-care, not fearing the supermarket aisles filled with chocolates, buttercream buche de noel (that was a real binge food for me pre-surgery), and special holiday foods. I know that I will eat peacefully, enjoying my small portions of delicious food, and I won't be waking up on January 1st feeling fat and guilty, and embarking on another futile attempt to diet and "do it for good this time."

preop.jpg

stunning and gorgeous

not only on the outside (can you say one hot momma)

but def on the inside...

what a great inspiration you are not only to me but to us all

va va voom GF

[jamilyne 102668 1,207]

You look so pretty!!! So happy for you!