Let me explain. I have a hard time getting pregnant. It took 4 years and a heck of a lot of meds to get my son, now 8. Since his birth we have been trying to conceive, with no results.

My sister, who is fertile Mertile with 3 of her own, has offered to conceive and have my husbands baby for me. Her egg, her womb, her pregnancy.

I am so tempted to do this, but she is bi-polar which scares me. I know it runs in families, we have the same mom, but different dads. They say there is a 20% chance that the kid will have the disorder when it hits early 20's and I have the same risk factor since I think my mom may have been bi-polar. So in my mind, I am thinking my egg or hers has the same risk factor. We look alike, and all her kids look like my son (except darker, she married a hispanic man).

What would you do?

My older sister has a biracial child in West Virgina and he has been fine. We are talking about a place where the KKK stands on the corner handing out recruit flyers. He attends a regular school and they live in the middle of town, no one treats him poorly, stares or asks questions. She is with a white man now and they still don't get strange looks. ~Mandy

As they shouldn't get any! I am glad they get the respect they deserve!

I'm in the Chicagoland area, and it's so common place here that noone really looks at anyone else weird. My daughter made a new friend at school and I asked her what she looked like. She kept saying she had lots of braids, I finally ask is she was black. Abi looked at me funny and ask what it meant to be black. She has several black friends and never realized that there was anything different about their skin color. Another funny thing with my daughter. She was 4 at the time we were on vacation in Disney and we have made friends with a cast member from there. He was taking us to dinner in downtown Orlando and we were sitting in the back seat and she ask "Mr. Charles,is there a Ms. Charles?" He is gay and wasn't sure how to asnwer that so I jumped in and said "no, but there is a Mr. Abrey and they are very happy together" She looked at me then at him and said "that's nice" end of discussion. Several days later Charles' partner joined up for lunch and Abi was his instant best friend, telling us later, "I know why Mr. Charles loves him so much". Kids raised without biased and hate....gotta love em. ~Mandy

Kids raised without biased and hate....gotta love em. ~Mandy

Gotta have more of em!

Not me, no more for me. But it would be nice if others took the time to explain what it means to care about our fellow human. ~Mandy

lol...Mandy I meant in the world as a whole sweetie! But feel free to have more if the mood hits you, you sound like a good mom!

My older sister has a biracial child in West Virgina and he has been fine. We are talking about a place where the KKK stands on the corner handing out recruit flyers. He attends a regular school and they live in the middle of town, no one treats him poorly, stares or asks questions. She is with a white man now and they still don't get strange looks. ~Mandy

Maybe if Barak Obama is elected president, the issue will wither away and (almost) die, but I see neither happening.

lol...Mandy I meant in the world as a whole sweetie! But feel free to have more if the mood hits you, you sound like a good mom!

I know what you meant, I was joking. I am done having kids, I have a 5 year old special needs child that I love more than life itself but I don't think I could do this again. BTW, my daughter is bi-polar and while it is hard it's not impossible to live with. We take things one day at a time and thank God for everyday that we are a family. ~Mandy

Sorry I did not check back in last night, my sister and her kids were here. (I am a closet bandster so did not visit).

I spoke with her with all of the very valid points brought up here, and we decided that it would be best to leave things as is. My husband really is happy with one, and if I ever became pregnant again he would be happy with another. To him it is not a major "thing". I feel the pull more than he does for another child.

I told my sister that she was wonderful for even offering, and that I would be happy to love her kids and send them home, but did not want to bring up possible problems within our family regarding a child.

I called the state again, and my husband said absolutely no way would we go that route... again.

In my heart I feel that there are so many kids out there that need a good home, and I want to be that good home for them, but I have two very important people here to think about.

I guess I was selfish for even thinking seriously about it. But, as she has more kids I can love them too, and love everyone that walks thru my classroom door. Then I can come home to a nice quiet house with my 8 year old that can take care of himself now. (I think that is the biggest reason I want another one, he does not want Mommy as much, he wants Daddy or to do it himself now.... but that is selfish too.)

Anyway, thanks again for the opinions and suggestions. I truly appreciate them.

Both my sons are adopted and they are wonderful. I think adoption is an option that you might consider, rather than the complication of a family member who isn't stable carrying your child. I agree with the majority of the responses. My sons and I couldn't be any closer. In a way, i am able to have a little more perspective into what is nature and what is nurture with each of them. I went through the fertility stuff and it was deadly for me, and feeling whole as a woman. So many children out there to love,

good luck with your decision,

Sorry I did not check back in last night, my sister and her kids were here. (I am a closet bandster so did not visit).

I spoke with her with all of the very valid points brought up here, and we decided that it would be best to leave things as is. My husband really is happy with one, and if I ever became pregnant again he would be happy with another. To him it is not a major "thing". I feel the pull more than he does for another child.

I told my sister that she was wonderful for even offering, and that I would be happy to love her kids and send them home, but did not want to bring up possible problems within our family regarding a child.

I called the state again, and my husband said absolutely no way would we go that route... again.

In my heart I feel that there are so many kids out there that need a good home, and I want to be that good home for them, but I have two very important people here to think about.

I guess I was selfish for even thinking seriously about it. But, as she has more kids I can love them too, and love everyone that walks thru my classroom door. Then I can come home to a nice quiet house with my 8 year old that can take care of himself now. (I think that is the biggest reason I want another one, he does not want Mommy as much, he wants Daddy or to do it himself now.... but that is selfish too.)

Anyway, thanks again for the opinions and suggestions. I truly appreciate them.

They say that two heads are better than one. Here at LBT, we have a multitude of heads and I hope that people of good will, will always be able to stir the thinking process for anyone who needs help with an important decision.

Poodles,

I am glad that you have made the right choice for you and your family. As for me, I am going to pray that you have your own surprise as we did, with my second Faith. I belive it may happen when you least expect it!

I don't think you are selfish at all sweetie, I don't think anyone did!

I live in Texas as well and we adopted our oldest son who is bi-racial (black/white). If adoption is a route you want to consider, let me know. I researched several agencies and may be able to help you a bit.

We had some family members we were concerned about, but before we adopted we commited to the idea that our child came first and we must be willing to cut off anybody we felt necessary. The reality is, even our child was lily white, do we want them to be around hate for others?

By the way, our families adore him. With the exception of one great-aunt, it has been a near-perfect experience.

I live in Texas as well and we adopted our oldest son who is bi-racial (black/white). If adoption is a route you want to consider, let me know. I researched several agencies and may be able to help you a bit.

We had some family members we were concerned about, but before we adopted we commited to the idea that our child came first and we must be willing to cut off anybody we felt necessary. The reality is, even our child was lily white, do we want them to be around hate for others?

By the way, our families adore him. With the exception of one great-aunt, it has been a near-perfect experience.

Some people are just plain ignorant.

I am 100% Italian as far as I know as is my first cousin. She married a fine Irish gentleman about 35 years ago and they have raised two fine children. The husband's mother still refers to my cousin and her husband as a "Mixed Marriage".

I was a school counselor in a rural area for 30 years....I went thru 3 generations of children in 5 school districts (one each day of the week). Some of the biggest messes I had to deal with were 'mixed up' families.....kids who did/did not know who their real father/mother were; parents who kept secrets about birth from parents/children/siblings; etc etc. A trail of broken hearts from one town to the next when the truth would come out.....and it always does. And even when it wasn't a secret, it caused all kinds of conflicts....kids threatening parents to go live with 'my real daddy,' 'uncle bud', or grandma's threatening to take their own daughters to court over a child.......I could tell you tales that would make you weep. I've had to testify in court more than once in similar situations.

You are very fortunate to have your one healthy child..... and he's fortunate to have good parents and an intact normal family. Don't risk messing up a good thing.

I have only one child myself....I lost 2 to miscarriage. He is now married to a young woman who was an only child herself. They are both kind, generous, well-adjusted people who did not seem to suffer from being an 'only.'

I wish you well in whatever you decide.....

Fantastic thoughts here. I'm 18 years in education. I'll bet we could talk.

Some people are just plain ignorant.

I am 100% Italian as far as I know as is my first cousin. She married a fine Irish gentleman about 35 years ago and they have raised two fine children. The husband's mother still refers to my cousin and her husband as a "Mixed Marriage".

Just goes to show we have come along way, because that is something generally that isn't said anymore, but we still have far to go. It was easier for white ethnic groups to assimilate into main stream, because well they were/are white. Someday I hope that race/color will no longer be an issue for all.