I have been reading all the posts today but have not had the will to respond to any of them....I am so upset about something that happened last night that I feel I may need to just step back and figure this out.

i knew this woman for a while and she rarely talked to me in several years. Her son was on the same plane as my hubby and I when we got home from our trip to see my brother...

We were almost the last ones to get off the plane and so most people had already collected their luggage and were gone..Small airport....small city!

Anyway..We were the one of the few that were still collecting our things when this woman came up to me and said. " Jane is that you?" I nodded and she looked me up and down for a few seconds and then told me I look wonderful. Her granddaughter started to act up and so she took one more look and turned around and walked away...

I was confused at first but then realized today that her son who was on the plane with us must have told her that I was in the airport and that she should see how I look...She had no reason to come back into the airport except to see if everything everyone has been saying is true....

Now it is out and people are talking about me and trying to figure out what happened to me....This is within my church group who never paid any attention to me while I almost died in the hospital or for the last 10 years or so that I have been very sick...But now the gossip wheel is turning and everyone wants to get a look at the new me....

I feel like they see me as some kind of freak....No one has talked to me or showed any interest in me or what has happened in my life until now...I feel like I am on display and have not replied to anyone how I really feel about them being so noisy now and butting into my life...

I can't stand this interest and really want them all to leave me alone...But my hubby says that that is not going to happen that one by one they will see me and say stupid things and go tell someone else about what they have seen....

All they knew is that I had a surgery and got very sick...For 5 months I laid in a hospital bed and none of them sent a card or flowers or visited me or even said anything nice. It was as if I died then! I realized that I was not part of the group anymore...But now all of a sudden they want to see me because of the transformation.....

My friend kept them informed of what had happened but never mentioned the original surgery....No one cared a wit about any of it...

I don't want them in my business or talking to me about this or anything else for that matter...I am now the topic of conversation to them...Soon they will go on to another but in the mean time they will be looking a little closer to see the new me.....

It is just creepy and humiliating that when I should be feeling better about myself and proud of the progress I made..I am being watched and talked about and now people are trying to see me so they can go back and say...So and so was right she does look different or whatever they are saying....

I need to prepare myself for the next time this happens to me so I won't feel like I have been punched in the gut.......

Sorry about me raving...but I am so upset I can't deal with it anymore......

Sending you a hug. The longer I live the more I see that people can sometimes just be insensitive jerks. I wish I had something comforting to offer. All I can send you is a virtual hug and a lot of love.

you cant control other people, so what is it you need to do to take care of yourself in this situation? only you can make yourself feel better, only you can change your thoughts about what is happening... how can you reframe this so you can move on?

you cant control other people, so what is it you need to do to take care of yourself in this situation? only you can make yourself feel better, only you can change your thoughts about what is happening... how can you reframe this so you can move on?

True and I will go on....it just really bothers me right now and I just want to be mad about it....I'll worry about the other feelings when a little time has passed!

RJ, to be blunt, f@&$ them. You have done so much, they can never understand. Don't let them control you or have power over your feelings. You are strong and beautiful and you can raise your head and pass them by. We all feel your pain and send good wishes your way.

There are always gonna be haters. Come up with a pat answer that reveals no more than you want to share and stick with it. If they keep pressing for details, call their manners out.

I have spent a lifetime dealing with this because the women in my family all had their children at a young age.

Mine for weight loss is " I feel great!" So they ask, how much have you lost and I say "Enough that I feel great!" They say, you shouldn't lose anymore and I say "Thanks! I feel great!" Etc.

Lynda

Hugs to you, and feel free to be mad, for as long as you like.

When ready, ...you got no control over "them". You got control over you.

In this situation, my personal inclination is to say "scew em" and move on.