I apologize in advance for this long vent, but I know all of you here would understand!

Yesterday afternoon I had my pre-op physical for my surgery on 11/19. My primary doctor is out on unexpected extended leave, so I had to see someone else in her office. I'd seen this other doctor before for something minor (not related to my surgery or weight loss) and not had any issues, so I thought I'd be fine. Boy, was I wrong! It was probably the single worst experience I've ever had with a physician. He looks in my medical record and sees the doctor who is requesting the pre-op physical. He then proceeds to lecture me about how he knows that office "means well" but what they tell their patients is completely wrong. Specifically, he says the nutritionist there doesn't know what she's doing and is "giving people a diet that will never be successful." He then proceeds to get on a soapbox about how no one should be considering WLS until they've tried a specific diet that is high-fat and low-carb. It seems that he was overweight at one point and lost all of the weight doing what they call a "caveman" or "paleo" diet of high fat and super low carbs. Now, I completely respect his experience and am glad that it worked for him. I just also expect him to respect me and my experience as well. What really got me was that he continued to tell me that if I have surgery, I may lose weight in the short term but if I follow my nutritionist's guidelines of a low-fat high Protein diet that I will "fail in the long run and gain all of the weight back."

So, after 20 minutes of being lectured, I was so upset that I couldn't even respond to him. I simply said, "I've gone through a year-long process of researching this, discussing my options, and consulting with my regular doctor to come to the conclusion that this is right for me. I'm not going into this thinking that the surgery is the magic procedure that will make everything better. I know that I'll be responsible for the hard work of eating right and exercising afterwards, and I've already changed many of my habits, including drinking at least 64 ounces of Water per day and cutting out many of the foods that I shouldn't eat after surgery. Through those discussions with my regular doctor and my research, I know this is the right choice for me." What I really wish I'd said is, "I'm trained as a psychotherapist and one of the first things they teach us about the helping profession is that you absolutely must acknowledge your personal biases so that you can keep them out of your professional interactions."

I left that appointment feeling so frustrated and upset. At this point in the game, only a week out from surgery, I'm a little scared and anxious about the procedure. I may question for a short moment "Am I doing the right thing?" but in my heart I know I am. It was just so upsetting for a professional to lecture me like that, plus he completely trash-talked my surgeon's office - when they both belong to the same medical system! I told my husband (who's infinitely supportive of my decision to have surgery) that I'd like to write a letter to the CEO of the system about that doctor's transferance of his biases and unprofessional lecture about his colleagues. I respect that he had good outcomes going his way, but I expect him to respect my decision as well.

So today I'm just trying not to get steamed up every time I think about yesterday's visit! The good part of this story is that he cleared me for surgery anyway, so now I'm happily looking forward to November 19th!

What a jerk!!!! I guess I would report him to the managers at the clinic where you go!!! No one, and I mean NO ONE has the right to talk to a patient that way!!! Who is he to belittle others that weren't even there to defend themselves!!!! If that had been me, I most certainly wouldn't have been able to keep my cool like you did! It is your body, your life and, your decision!!! Any physician should respect that unless it is a dire mistake. Obviously he didn't think that or he would not have approved you. Almost sounds like he's jealous because he did his weight loss with a diet. Well goodie for him!!! Stay strong in your conviction and know that you are doing what is right for you!!!

Good luck and keep us posted!!!!

He had no right to do that to you - and if I were you, I'd address the situation with your regular doctor when he/she returns. Stay strong!

I apologize in advance for this long vent, but I know all of you here would understand!

I think you had a good response, and I think you definitely have a right to put your concerns forward. Many clinics and professional associations have complaint resolution processes, perhaps this clinic does too? At any rate, speaking up serves a good purpose, to help this doctor become a better one. You may want to consider letting your primary doc as well as surgeon know about this. Good for you for being willing to say " this isn't ok"! Whatever you do, let the stress go...be kind to yourself.

Wow...as a person who works in the medical professional, I am appalled at his behavior with you. One of the very first things we learn going into medicine is you have to leave your personal crap at the door. We may not agree with a patients decision on a personal level, but that should not matter, we are there to be an advocate for patients in what THEY want to do with their healthcare decisions. IF it were me, I would absolutely write a letter. The CEO needs to have a chat with this physician, and let him know he is offending patients and making them feel uncomfortable. WLS is such a personal and for some agonizing decision, no one needs a pompous doctor who thinks he knows the right path for everyone making it even harder. Don't doubt yourself and your decision, I'm sorry you had such a bad experience!!

you should be steamed.

What a twit...