i am active in my church as well as Bible studies. I have opted to keep my surgery private. I feel bad sometimes when prayer requests come up and I act as if nothing big is going on in my life, when there is....surgery...Anyone else experience this?

This is a very personal decision and it is your right to keep it personal. You should never feel bad or guilty for doing what is best for you. My surgery is in 2 days and there are a lot of people who I haven't shared it with. When you feel comfortable, share...If you never feel comfortable, don't....Good Luck!

I know what you mean. I haven't had it yet but will start the process in 2 days. I want to tell someone other than my husband but I dont want to be questioned about it from all angles every time I see someone. I feel bad and it's almost depressing keeping it a secret. But I have to keep my head up and not let that influence my decision.

It's not a secret, just something you are choosing to not share, the word secret has negative energy attached to it. Anyone who questions your decision, has no idea what you are going through and therefore, is not qualified to have an opinion. I am a nurse, there are some people at work who know and being nurses they only see the bad cases, the success stories don't need a nurse. So, needless to say, many of them tried to change my mind, but it was my decision to what is best for myself and my family. If you are at peace with your decision, no one can change your mind. You should hold your head high, you are actively doing something to better your life, how many of your critics will honestly be able to say the same???

I spoke with my friend who had lap band btw about my upcoming surgery. I was originally due to have a hellee myotomy for achalasia but my doctor thought this will help my achalasia and my weight plus its less invasive and a faster recovery. I was shocked and hurt how she reacted. She said "great I had lapband I am still fat you get a rare illness and you will drop 50lbs in a month". I have decided to tell no one outside of family after that point. I am understand how you feel about not sharing but you don't know how someone else will act. Give it to God. I have known her since 2nd grade and thought she was my friend. Huge wakeup call

Well I've told everyone Im a manager in a retail department store an I talk to customers who have had it I bet good n bad some say oh u should get the sleeve n I just say no I've looked in to both an I chose the bypass I get a lot of people who say oh u don't need that your not that big u can just diet but I just say no I've been big all my life n I want this so bad an ivebeen putting the whole process on my facebook cuz I font care who knows or how they feel it cuz it for me n my health an my new life but for the most part I have a big support of co workers an friends n family

That is an awesome attitude!

As long as you share it with God and your soulmate, you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty or bad about. You do not owe anything anybody in that church. But ... You do owe it to yourself to pursue a healthy happy life. That's all anybody needs to know, that you are healthy and happy. How? It's nobody's business.

I haven't told many people and it's not that I am keeping it secret, I just don't feel it's anyones business. I believe its on a need to know basis. I will tell my boss once I get my surgury date but other folks probably not. If someone asks, I will be honest and tell them. Just because I tell some one, it is not an invitation to give me their opinion. If I want it, I will ask for it. I've been very forutnate with the few that I have told. They all have been supportive and caring.

Thank you all ladies. @Ray8L two days away, you must be excited. I wish you well . I too am a nurse and know all the risks, I only told my manager out of necessity for time off. I work in a really busy ED and getting a break to eat is sometimes really hard. Post op I will not lie. I just am opting not to tell everyone and as well stated try to explain myself, and listen to ignorance.

I chose only to tell my best friend and my parents. I didn't feel I could trust anyone else to be supportive.

I think that is SOOOO sad I understand it but still sad that when you need them most your supposed friends aren't there.

At first I didn't want to tell my church family. Then, I decided that I needed to "break the silence", but I didn't want a public announcement as a prayer request. So, I just began by telling my Sunday School class and one other woman who asked me to cook something for a church meal during my 10 day liquid diet (there is no way could I do that). I figure that the news will probably get out from there, especially when I'm not at that upcoming meal and my family is there. I felt so much better sharing about my surgery. I decided that it was harder on me to try to keep a secret than to be confident and happy in sharing my decision for better health.

I had my surgery almost five months ago and still have not told anybody in my church except my pastor (who had rny), his wife and his daughter ( who had the sleeve). I could name a dozen or more people off the top of my head who attend my church and have had wls sadly I could name half of them who gained weight back, some even more. There are a few friends who have been vocal about their opinions against wls which is part of the reason I keep it private. I need support and encouragement not someone telling me I am making a huge mistake. It's my private business and unfortunately it's our church family that tends to gossip more than people outside the church.