SO supportive.

[anonemouse 1]

I just called my mom and was telling her about the saga I've been going through to try and have my stuff sent from my old surgeon to the new one. You know what she said? "This is getting ridiculous! Just pretend you had surgery and lose the weight that way!"

Thanks, Mom. I really hadn't thought of that.

I've never been successful at losing weight and keeping if off in the past because I GET HUNGRY and eventually fall off the wagon. That's why I want to have this surgery, so I won't be hungry! If it was so easy to "pretend I had surgery," doesn't she think I would?! You would think that being obese herself, she would know what I am going through. I don't want to wind up like her, with high cholesterol, diabetes, and a double knee replacement. She "doesn't want to worry about what the surgery may do to me later in life". Geez, Mom, it isn't like I am having RNY. This surgery is ENTIRELY REVERSIBLE. If I start having problems, I can have it taken out. It isn't like I am having my intestines rearranged or my stomach chopped into bits. I know she doesn't like the thought of me having surgery, but I would rather risk surgery than risk being obese the rest of my life.

[rms78645 0]

People don't get it. She probably thinks that she is being helpful, they just don't understand.

[lisah25 3]

Now why didn't I think of that? I could have made fake scars from left-over Halloween make-up, take pain meds for a few days, stick to the post-op plan, golly sounds good...

[green 6]

LOL! Tell her you are going to pretend to be Barack Obama instead!

[Bandy 0]

But it is not always completely reversible. There is the possibility of erosion into the stomach that can result in having the stomach sliced and diced for removal.

Still, it would be nice if people gave some credit to the person actually considering the surgery and trusted them to do their own research and decision making.

[musicalmomma 1]

I just called my mom and was telling her about the saga I've been going through to try and have my stuff sent from my old surgeon to the new one. You know what she said? "This is getting ridiculous! Just pretend you had surgery and lose the weight that way!"

Thanks, Mom. I really hadn't thought of that.

I've never been successful at losing weight and keeping if off in the past because I GET HUNGRY and eventually fall off the wagon. That's why I want to have this surgery, so I won't be hungry! If it was so easy to "pretend I had surgery," doesn't she think I would?! You would think that being obese herself, she would know what I am going through. I don't want to wind up like her, with high cholesterol, diabetes, and a double knee replacement. She "doesn't want to worry about what the surgery may do to me later in life". Geez, Mom, it isn't like I am having RNY. This surgery is ENTIRELY REVERSIBLE. If I start having problems, I can have it taken out. It isn't like I am having my intestines rearranged or my stomach chopped into bits. I know she doesn't like the thought of me having surgery, but I would rather risk surgery than risk being obese the rest of my life.

She sounds SO much like my mom...except my mom has been trim all her life except for a couple of years where she gained like 25 pounds and took it off through potion control!!! She just can't understand!! I just finally asked her to trust me and if she can't support my decision, I'll leave the topic out of our converstaions if she will and we'll just agree to disagree.

[Wheetsin 714]

"This is getting ridiculous! Just pretend you had surgery and lose the weight that way!"

Does that mean I can just pretend I have a job paying 4 times what I make, and go buy that mansion on the hill I've loved for 10 years? Your mom seems to be missing the disconnect between fantasy and reality. I've never known anyone who could pretend they were on a diet, and lose weight because of it.

I'm having some mom issues too, but not because I'm overweight and she doesn't understand -- mine are because she's overweight too and as much as she's happy for me, she's also jealous that I'm losing and she's gaining.

Is your mom overweight also, or is she "normal"?

[ralheit 0]

I've been pretty lucky as far as family support. But it is really interesting how people just don't get obesity. They act as if it's a choice. True we may have made some bad choices in food or exercise, but people just don't want to accept tht genetics and other issues have a big part in it as well.

Just do your thing and if they accept it fine, if not, oh well. You have good reasons to want to help yourself and be healthy. You have plenty of support here.

[Sunta 4]

If only it were that easy!

I really hear you on the hunger front. That is the sole reason why I could not lose weight on my own. I always got too hungry on diets and eventually the calories would just always creep right back up. It seems like such a simple concept that some folks are just plain hungrier than others, and I don't understand why it seems so many people can't grasp that fact.

Hunger is one of the main drives in a human. If anything is just slightly out of whack in someone with any one of the factors that regulates hunger, then it's easy to see how some people could be alot more hungry than others while they are on a diet, and why they eventually fail to keep calories at such a low level.

Even on the highest level of Weight Watchers (the most points) I was starving all the time. It just never worked in the long term.

My mom didn't want me to have the surgery either, but she eventually came around when she saw I wasn't backing down. I'm sure your mom will come around to it eventually. Is she well-educated about the band? If not, maybe her gaining knowledge about it would be helpful.

[anonemouse 1]

I'm having some mom issues too, but not because I'm overweight and she doesn't understand -- mine are because she's overweight too and as much as she's happy for me, she's also jealous that I'm losing and she's gaining.

Is your mom overweight also, or is she "normal"?

She's had weight problems her whole life, and right now she weighs around 185-190 (she's 5'3"), so she SHOULD know that "pretending I had surgery" won't work. "Pretending I had surgery" won't make me satisfied on a small amount of food.

She has had a pretty strong pattern of sabotage, whenever I have dieted in the past. Whenever we would eat out together, she would get something and then say, "Here, try this." I would say that I didn't want to try it. She would then nag me until I either tried it or yelled at her.

I'm sure your mom will come around to it eventually. Is she well-educated about the band? If not, maybe her gaining knowledge about it would be helpful.

She went to a seminar with me, and was really supportive afterward, but now she doesn't really want to hear about it. Which is really frustrating, because other than the people here, she's the only person (other than my dad, who REALLY doesn't like the decision) that I'm close to who knows what I'm doing.

[green 6]

It sounds like you are going to have to cut the old girl off from this business of decision making. She seems far too volatile and neurotic. My advice to you is to live your life according to your desires and to present the decisions which you have already chosen and followed through with to your parents only after these are completed acts. This limits your parents' ability to trip out on you.

[anonemouse 1]

It sounds like you are going to have to cut the old girl off from this business of decision making. She seems far too volatile and neurotic. My advice to you is to live your life according to your desires and to present the decisions which you have already chosen and followed through with to your parents only after these are completed acts. This limits your parents' ability to trip out on you.

I usually do, this is just an aberration. I am still under my parents' insurance and I am semi-dependent on them (grad student salary and all), so that's why they've had input with the surgery. Plus, when I first told them, I thought they would be happy for me.

[rtgirl77 0]

Lauren: It sucks to have no support from your family. I was kind of on the opposite end of the spectrum. My mom was a little worried but my sisters were pushing me to have RNY because they have a friend who had it and is doing good. I always got the "well you would've lost more weight by now if you'd had the REAL surgery" kind of comments. I guess they all mean well.

My advice is that no one can understand your journey like fellow bandsters and I also think that everyone should get as many opinions as possible so that they are completely READY and prepared for anything. I wasn't prepared for the fact that it would be very hard to get satisfied, even with the band. Had I gotten into a support group, I'd have probably heard this but no one in my area had one. That resource is invaluable. I'd recommend getting VERY involved with your local support group (if you have one) so that you can have some face-to-face commiserating with people who actually KNOW what you are going through.

Good luck and hang in there.

[green 6]

I usually do, this is just an aberration. I am still under my parents' insurance and I am semi-dependent on them (grad student salary and all), so that's why they've had input with the surgery. Plus, when I first told them, I thought they would be happy for me.

My mother probably would have been against the surgery, too, but she died a couple of years ago. The irony is that I was able to finance it through my inheritance. It cost me $16,000 Canadian to have it done in Toronto which is where I live.

[Wheetsin 714]

Laurend - I mentioned earlier having mom problems. The irony is that last week, she & my dad called and asked me to go my surgeon's information seminar with them.