Hi everyone, I had my surgery on Thursday and everything is going well so far, it gets better day by day. Now I'm sure this question has been asked before BUT what did you tell people especially your work. I chose not to tell anyone at work about my decision mainly because it's personal and none of their business but also because of the rude fat comments I hear the directors make all of the time (one made at me a couple of years ago). My friend text me and said the directors have brought up my "mystery surgery" in front of 70 people. I'm not happy !!! I have no issue telling people to mind their own business but I have our national conference coming up in a couple if weeks and feel a little weird about going out for dinner with everyone. What did you tell your work colleagues?

i just told them the truth matter of fact i told them before they even asked jajaja ive never been keen to feeling ashamed of anything why start now i am an adult and i do with my life and money as i please and especially if its a positive health wise for me pretty much blocks any neg. feedback about it.

Okay. So I wanted to take another look at this and make sure my PMS wasn't getting the best of me. Evidently it is. Amanda Rae' date=' I don't really think we are disagreeing or arguing about anything. I agree with almost everything you said. As Laura ven said, there have been a number of these threads running the last few days and the shame issue keeps coming up. That is all I was responding to and not your post in particular. As I look at this thread again, based upon what the OP said, the people in her workplace seem deserving of whatever sarcasm or icy glare she chooses to give them. They sound like a bunch of aholes.[/quote']

I can relate to PMS goggles while reading comments. Doubly dangerous as tone is very subjective in "text". I try to offset the PMS goggle with a pair of dark chocolate bar blinders.

They do sound like complete jerks.

I can relate to PMS goggles while reading comments. Doubly dangerous as tone is very subjective in "text". I try to offset the PMS goggle with a pair of dark chocolate bar blinders.

They do sound like complete jerks.

Maybe I could just tape a chocolate bar to each hand and one around my mouth. But then I really would need to explain my related runs to the bathroom!

Okay. I really don't understand why people who tell make this about shame or pride for the rest of us and I really think you should stop making assumptions about other people's feelings. I told no one about my surgery other than my husband and my children. Initially I told my Mom' date=' Dad, and Sister. I come from a family of lawyers so they all went immediately into protective mode. My sister wanted the name of the anesthesiologist so that she could access her law enforcement database and run a background check on him. My mother wanted to fly in to meet with the doctor and both my parents wanted to look into whether he had been sued before. I didn't need all that anxiety and stress so I told them I changed my mind. I told them three months post-op that I had the surgery. I don't share a lot of personal things with my co-workers because that is what they are, not my friends, and we are all professionals. Why in the world would I engage in discussions that might be controversial at work??? I don't do it about politics or religion; why would I do it about something as personal as my health? Do my co-workers need to know that I may be a little tired or bitchy today because I am on my period? No. That is an inappropriate conversation for work. I am not ashamed of having a period for goodness sakes! It's just none of their business. Should I tell them I have green slime coming out of my nose because I have a sinus infection? Gross, no. But, I am not ashamed to have a sinus infection. Should I tell them when I have the runs because of a stomach bug? No. It's not professional. It has nothing to do with shame. There is another big reason that I don't tell most people about WLS. I had an amazing and fantastic recovery. I literally had surgery on a Thursday and I was in the office on Monday. I do not want everyone thinking that their experience will be like mine and running out to do this. The decision to have WLS is a highly personal one. Most of us come to it after a lot of reflection and research. Once people become interested in surgery as a way to control their weight they will do the research and come to their own decision. A couple of co-workers who were either struggling with their own weight and resulting medical problems or have family members who struggle have come to me privately in my office to ask about my weight loss. I have been open with those couple of people and they have not shared it with others to my knowledge. If they have so be it. I knew that once I told another person there was no controlling the information. Maybe those of you proclaiming that the rest of us are ashamed are projecting and the shame is really something you have been dealing with all of your life and this is just the latest exp<b></b>ression of it. But, I will step back and not attempt to psychoanalyze you or assign feelings to you. I have never been ashamed and my weight has never held me back from doing anything I wanted to do. I promised myself when I had kids that weight was my issue not theirs. If they wanted to swim then darn it I was putting on a swim suit and going swimming. Perhaps those of you accusing others of shame do not realize that it is offensive. I'm telling you it is.[/quote'] Agree-well said!

PMS or not:-)

Edited October 21, 201312 yr by TIFFs

I can relate to PMS goggles while reading comments. Doubly dangerous as tone is very subjective in "text". I try to offset the PMS goggle with a pair of dark chocolate bar blinders. They do sound like complete jerks.

Maybe I could just tape a chocolate bar to each hand and one around my mouth. But then I really would need to explain my related runs to the bathroom!

Well I'm glad you two are made up.

But I'm still in a lousy ass mood.

Oh by the way no one really asks me, it might be an approachability issue...

Okay. I really don't understand why people who tell make this about shame or pride for the rest of us and I really think you should stop making assumptions about other people's feelings. I told no one about my surgery other than my husband and my children. Initially I told my Mom' date=' Dad, and Sister. I come from a family of lawyers so they all went immediately into protective mode. My sister wanted the name of the anesthesiologist so that she could access her law enforcement database and run a background check on him. My mother wanted to fly in to meet with the doctor and both my parents wanted to look into whether he had been sued before. I didn't need all that anxiety and stress so I told them I changed my mind. I told them three months post-op that I had the surgery. I don't share a lot of personal things with my co-workers because that is what they are, not my friends, and we are all professionals. Why in the world would I engage in discussions that might be controversial at work??? I don't do it about politics or religion; why would I do it about something as personal as my health? Do my co-workers need to know that I may be a little tired or bitchy today because I am on my period? No. That is an inappropriate conversation for work. I am not ashamed of having a period for goodness sakes! It's just none of their business. Should I tell them I have green slime coming out of my nose because I have a sinus infection? Gross, no. But, I am not ashamed to have a sinus infection. Should I tell them when I have the runs because of a stomach bug? No. It's not professional. It has nothing to do with shame. There is another big reason that I don't tell most people about WLS. I had an amazing and fantastic recovery. I literally had surgery on a Thursday and I was in the office on Monday. I do not want everyone thinking that their experience will be like mine and running out to do this. The decision to have WLS is a highly personal one. Most of us come to it after a lot of reflection and research. Once people become interested in surgery as a way to control their weight they will do the research and come to their own decision. A couple of co-workers who were either struggling with their own weight and resulting medical problems or have family members who struggle have come to me privately in my office to ask about my weight loss. I have been open with those couple of people and they have not shared it with others to my knowledge. If they have so be it. I knew that once I told another person there was no controlling the information. Maybe those of you proclaiming that the rest of us are ashamed are projecting and the shame is really something you have been dealing with all of your life and this is just the latest exp<b></b>ression of it. But, I will step back and not attempt to psychoanalyze you or assign feelings to you. I have never been ashamed and my weight has never held me back from doing anything I wanted to do. I promised myself when I had kids that weight was my issue not theirs. If they wanted to swim then darn it I was putting on a swim suit and going swimming. Perhaps those of you accusing others of shame do not realize that it is offensive. I'm telling you it is.[/quote']

Love!

Well I'm glad you two are made up. But I'm still in a lousy ass mood. Oh by the way no one really asks me' date=' it might be an approachability issue... <img src='http://www.bariatricpal.com/public/style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.png' class='bbc_emoticon' alt='' />[/quote']

I was taking the "approach with caution" mentality.

What kind if cupcakes did you eat?

Well I'm glad you two are made up.

But I'm still in a lousy ass mood.

Oh by the way no one really asks me' date=' it might be an approachability issue...

[/quote']

Ya think? Lol.

I was taking the "approach with caution" mentality. What kind if cupcakes did you eat?

Some kind of Mexican chocolate..

We went to a weekend long wedding. I feel worse today than I did yesterday!

It could have something to do with the scale not liking the moonshine, cupcake, wine, combo.

Note to self;

Do not ever attend a weekend long Bolivian/hillbilly wedding again!

Weekend long weddings are the BEST!!! Just stay away from the moonshine!!!

Wow what a response !! Thanks to everyone for your thoughts and suggestions. The decision to tell people or who you tell is a very personal one and I'm happy for those of you that feel as though you can shout it from the rooftop... Good on you !!! I definitely do not intend to lie to people but for my own personal interest I was wondering how others dealt with it. Especially for those that may work in the same environment as me and do not want the added stress. Again, thank you to those of you for sharing your thoughts !

Wow at the conversation......simply it's a choice as to what you tell others. If I decide not to tell others, it doesn't make me a liar!!! I haven't been sleeved yet but will next month. I've been selling beauty, weight loss, vitamins etc for a year and use some of my products. I will continue after VSG AND IT DOES NOT MAKE ME A LIAR!!!!!

Wow at the conversation......simply it's a choice as to what you tell others. If I decide not to tell others, it doesn't make me a liar!!! I haven't been sleeved yet but will next month. I've been selling beauty, weight loss, vitamins etc for a year and use some of my products. I will continue after VSG AND IT DOES NOT MAKE ME A LIAR!!!!!

Out of curiosity what kind of weight loss products would you use after VSG?

Depends on how you want to play it.... 1) The combative method - walk into the directors' office and tell them' date=' 'any more speculation in front of the whole office about my personal medical business and I'll have you before a tribunal quicker than your legs can carry you (not very good for the career prospects, but fundamentally, they are in the wrong on many levels.) 2) The jokey method - Say in front of all the staff 'Oh, yeah, about my surgery, I'd just like to announce that I'm having a brain transplant. Reason? The medical community cannot believe I actually work here!'. Any follow up, smile and say 'with the greatest of respect, it really is none of your business.' 3) Ignore them entirely. They'll get bored of the speculation eventually. 4) Ham it up. Wait until some bozo chooses an inopportune and public moment to make a direct enquiry - promptly run away crying. They'll be scared shiteless that they've said something terribly wrong and after initial attempts at saying 'there there', will leave it be and probably avoid enquiring again like the plague. Best of luck! [/quote']. Haha love it !