Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

"You're looking great"....but how does that make you feel?



Recommended Posts

I've lost over 60 lbs in almost 3 months and the compliments are rolling in. It really makes me uncomfortable. I know we're just supposed to say "thank you" and move on but in my head, it's not always that easy. I know I looked much more unhealthy before but no one pointed that out (to my face). Now I get compliments daily and the nosey "how much have you lost?", "what do you eat?", etc. questions. People that never/rarely talked to me before are now chatting it up like we're besties. How do you cope with these comments? Are you ok with this? Any suggestions on how to get the head on board with the compliments? Sometimes I look in the mirror and see the same body as before 11/27 BUT my clothes are definitely smaller. Today I put on a top that I thought would be too small and it was perfect. I guess it takes some time for the mind's eye to catch up with reality. When I was bigger, I didn't believe I was "that big" so I guess it goes both ways. Thanks for listening. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I also would like o know how other people react, i had surgery on 10/3/12.... I cannot handle the positive comments, i start to feel that i looked like Gigantic ugly person before....geez.... Its pobably my insecurities.....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've asked the same questions many times. I get uncomfortable with the compliments and questions of how much and what do I eat too. I find myself changing the subject very fast. I don't know of I will ever get used to being noticed as smaller or hearing how great or good I look. I loved being the complimentor never the complimentee. I always find myself saying "aww thank you, it hasn't been easy. " or "awww thanks it's coming along" lol I find the awww thank you is my aka "ugh comfortable stop looking at me" I also hate when people look up and down the talk to me. I feel soooo uncomfortable. I'm 7 months post tomorrow and down 105lbs from surgery 135lbs down from January 2012. So I know I look different but would prefer people not notice lol.

.::SurgeryDate 7/25/12::.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love compliments both fat & slim

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love compliments. The best compliment I ever got was the day I got married in October. I had busted but and lost almost 30 lbs in 6 months by dieting alone. It was a hard fought struggle, but I fit in my wedding dress that my mother-in-law made for me. When my husband saw me coming down the aisle he started tearing up and when I got to him he looked me dead in the eye and said that I was absolutely beautiful. At 307 I was stunning to him. It has given me the confidence to pursue WLS because I know that no matter what he will think I am beautiful. Now I can't wait for everyone else to see what he sees. I've heard comments from people in his life that didn't know I was listening, saying things like what does he see in her, she's just sooo big, she has a pretty face but..., etc.

Can't wait until I get the chance to have people ask me how much weight I've lost instead of when is your baby due?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love compliments. The best compliment I ever got was the day I got married in October. I had busted but and lost almost 30 lbs in 6 months by dieting alone. It was a hard fought struggle' date=' but I fit in my wedding dress that my mother-in-law made for me. When my husband saw me coming down the aisle he started tearing up and when I got to him he looked me dead in the eye and said that I was absolutely beautiful. At 307 I was stunning to him. It has given me the confidence to pursue WLS because I know that no matter what he will think I am beautiful. Now I can't wait for everyone else to see what he sees. I've heard comments from people in his life that didn't know I was listening, saying things like what does he see in her, she's just sooo big, she has a pretty face but..., etc.

Can't wait until I get the chance to have people ask me how much weight I've lost instead of when is your baby due?[/quote']

That's beautiful... Good luck honey!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love compliments. The best compliment I ever got was the day I got married in October. I had busted but and lost almost 30 lbs in 6 months by dieting alone. It was a hard fought struggle' date=' but I fit in my wedding dress that my mother-in-law made for me. When my husband saw me coming down the aisle he started tearing up and when I got to him he looked me dead in the eye and said that I was absolutely beautiful. At 307 I was stunning to him. It has given me the confidence to pursue WLS because I know that no matter what he will think I am beautiful. Now I can't wait for everyone else to see what he sees. I've heard comments from people in his life that didn't know I was listening, saying things like what does he see in her, she's just sooo big, she has a pretty face but..., etc.

Can't wait until I get the chance to have people ask me how much weight I've lost instead of when is your baby due?[/quote']

Pl are so f***ing rude! I got plenty of are you preggo again. Hate it. I love your spouse that's the kind of spouse we would all love to have.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Compliments make me super uneasy. I wish people would not look at me. Once I am at my goal I may feel I deserve compliments, but not yet. I still have too far to go.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think ladies that maybe this might help a little. My grandma told me one time when I was younger and a heck of a lot skinnier that it was really rude to dismiss a compliment when someone tells you something. You are saying to that person that either you don't believe them or that you don't value their opinion or observation. If you have problems accepting the compliment then say thank you and change the subject or compliment them back to get the attention off of you. That's the best way to handle those things.

On a side note I believe that there is something beautiful and worthy in all of us, regardless of size. You are a wonderful person in your own right and deserve to have people recognize that thing that makes you special. It doesn't matter if it's your eyes, hair, hands, butt, or heart/soul. I have met tatted up and pierced people who would give you the shirt off their back and have the most beautiful soul. I have met super wealthy people who would do the same. I have met people who are not conventionally pretty but their smile could light up a room. Their is something in all of us that deserves recognition.

Unless you're a serial killer...then I have nothing nice to say..lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, I have not had that many. I think the people I work with are just afraid to say anything to me because I am HR but a few now and then would be nice. Sometimes I think I look the same.

Take the them when you get them. But I can say I feel the same way. When I do get them my insecurities come out and I get really nervous but I do manage a thank you. :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've lost over 60 lbs in almost 3 months and the compliments are rolling in. It really makes me uncomfortable. I know we're just supposed to say "thank you" and move on but in my head' date=' it's not always that easy. I know I looked much more unhealthy before but no one pointed that out (to my face). Now I get compliments daily and the nosey "how much have you lost?", "what do you eat?", etc. questions. People that never/rarely talked to me before are now chatting it up like we're besties. How do you cope with these comments? Are you ok with this? Any suggestions on how to get the head on board with the compliments? Sometimes I look in the mirror and see the same body as before 11/27 BUT my clothes are definitely smaller. Today I put on a top that I thought would be too small and it was perfect. I guess it takes some time for the mind's eye to catch up with reality. When I was bigger, I didn't believe I was "that big" so I guess it goes both ways. Thanks for listening. :)[/quote']

Ok I get this also a lot and it's starting to work on my nerves. It urges me when a person says oh you look good. I respond to them I looked good before but I look healthier now. Then they ask what did you do, I respond healthier lifestyle and on and on. I don't like the attention because it suppose to be great thing in your life but they make you feel some type of way! I'm glad I'm not the only one that feel this way. But we can't let them discourage us because we have come to far to let go or let someone deter us from our goal! Let's continue on our journey with much happiness and getting more healthier.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

18 months out and I can finally see my new self. True there are a lot of idiots that now want to chat it up now that I have lost the weight that couldn't be bothered talking to me before. There are also those who genuinely care about me on this journey. Consider the source. I am fairly open about my surgery. It makes a difference where we go out to eat and so on. I get some goofball questions and I get a lot of serious well thought out ones too. As a result of being open I have met some incredible people that have also had the surgery. My network of support expands all the time. My kids are my biggest support. Today I like the person I see in the mirror. It has been a bit of a journey to get here. Hang in.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      I changed my profile image to a molecule of protein. Why? Because I am certain that it saved my life.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • eclarke

      Two years out. Lost 120 , regained 5 lbs. Recently has a bout of Norovirus, lost 7 pounds in two days. Now my stomach feels like it did right after my surgery. Sore, sensitive to even water.  Anyone out there have a similar experience?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Eve411

      April Surgery
      Am I the only struggling to get weight down. I started with weight of 297 and now im 280 but seem to not lose more weight. My nutrtionist told me not to worry about the pounds because I might still be losing inches. However, I do not really see much of a difference is this happen to any of you, if so any tips?
      Thanks
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Clueless_girl

      Well recovering from gallbladder removal was a lot like recovering from the modified duodenal switch surgery, twice in 4 months yay 🥳😭. I'm having to battle cravings for everything i shouldn't have, on top of trying to figure out what happens after i eat something. Sigh, let me fast forward a couple of months when everyday isn't a constant battle and i can function like a normal person again! 😞
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KeeWee

      It's been 10 long years! Here is my VSG weight loss surgiversary update..
      https://www.ae1bmerchme.com/post/10-year-surgiversary-update-for-2024 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×