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Relationships after rny!



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I'm about to have gastric bypass on Tuesday ( January 22) and I'm wondering how everyone's relationships with there husbands/wife's or significant others changed after surgery or if it stayed the same.

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My significant other moved out two weeks ago. I am now officially a statistic...despite my broken heart I still have no regrets. I'm lost and confused but at least now I'm 115 lbs lighter and I get endless date offers.

Can't speak for everyone else but my situation got increasingly worse with every pound that I lost. People get used to you being morbidly obese and sometimes they don't know how to deal with you when you are no longer unhappy with yourself

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

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My relationships with my (now) fiancé and my parents has strengthened so much since my surgery. I feel like part of it is how you treat them. I haven't pushed my new lifestyle on them or ridiculed their food choices. They make their own decisions and I make mine, just like before surgery. :) Good luck to you!

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My significant other moved out two weeks ago. I am now officially a statistic...despite my broken heart I still have no regrets. I'm lost and confused but at least now I'm 115 lbs lighter and I get endless date offers.

Can't speak for everyone else but my situation got increasingly worse with every pound that I lost. People get used to you being morbidly obese and sometimes they don't know how to deal with you when you are no longer unhappy with yourself

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

That's sad. Maybe he had his own insecurities

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My marriage has gotten stronger. My husband went on a health kick about 1.5 years ago and my new life style has fit in nicely. He has always been skinny, and I always felt out of place with my added weight. Now I feel like he can be proud of me. I don't feel like the fat girl with the handsome husband.

Our sex life is like we are first dating again, and our communication is so much better, but it is because we have worked at it. Before the surgery we had long conversations about how this will change our lives. I always felt that when I would started losing weight he would buy sweets. He would then say just have the will power to resist. Since he has been skinny all his life it is not a concept he has really had to deal with. However I never spoke up before and before the surgery we talked about it. About three weeks in he brought home a chocolate cream pie and said it was for me. Instead of keeping my feelings in we talked about it. He said he wanted sweets and our compromise were things I hated like coconut.

So it takes work and communication. Realize it is a change for both of you and be open to talk about fears and concerns.

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It was so bad in the beginning, but its gotten so much better. I think we expect people to change because we decided to make the change. sometimes that isn't fair to our significant others.

Sent from my iPhone using RNYTalk

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I'm about to have gastric bypass on Tuesday ( January 22) and I'm wondering how everyone's relationships with there husbands/wife's or significant others changed after surgery or if it stayed the same.

My relationship has changed. My husband is a big eater and that was one thing we did together. Now I am dedicated to losing this weight and he is supportive. He just keep saying I hope you don't get skinny and leave me. I think he enjoys the sex more because its a lot easier and we can do things I couldn't do before. I had surg Dec 5 and have lost 47 pounds. Hope this isn't to much info...lol

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I am a little biased on this my previous serious relationship got extremly jealous to the point where he said ”stop losing weight your gonna cheat on me” but he ended up being the cheater!! But now ive meet a guy who is super supportive and understanding were not together yet but it can work!! Regardless always do makes you happy and if someone truly loves and cares they will stick around through thick and thin (literally) Lol best of luck to u!! :)

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Panda, I'm so sorry! But you seem to be a strong and beautiful woman. You'll get thru this.

About eight years ago I got down to about 170 pounds. My hubby thought I wanted a new man so started cheating on line. Of course he never mentioned his insecurities to me so I thought all was well. Nothing physical but mental maybe just as bad if not worse. We got thru it so I knew this was going to be a huge challenge. We talk constantly about it. He does it again, he's gone. Even after almost 20 years.

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I'm basically stuck in my relationship. He's been supportive to a point but everytime I go to the gym he thinks I'm out screwing around on him. It gets old really fast. The gym is the only thing I have to do on my own. I'm basically raising our daughter on my own so I don't get out at all. I just want to be happy and someday I will be even if I have to be by myself.

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Panda' date=' I'm so sorry! But you seem to be a strong and beautiful woman. You'll get thru this.

About eight years ago I got down to about 170 pounds. My hubby thought I wanted a new man so started cheating on line. Of course he never mentioned his insecurities to me so I thought all was well. Nothing physical but mental maybe just as bad if not worse. We got thru it so I knew this was going to be a huge challenge. We talk constantly about it. He does it again, he's gone. Even after almost 20 years.[/quote']

I definitely feel like he made this move because he thought that I was gonna leave him. It was the furthest thing from my mind. Ironically enough I am at 170 lbs.

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

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My 9 year relationship has been on the rocks lately and I feel this surgery will cause even more tension. It's a lot of changes, new goals, new confidence, priorities change, and it's a big transition.

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I got divorced several years ago after losing 100 lbs (29 yr total relationship). Long story but I finally had courage to move on due to my accomplishments with weight & working out. I had so little self confidence under all that weight, i never believed i could make it on my own but i did. I met my current man around the time I was at my smallest & proceeded to gain everything back + more. We lived 3 hrs apart so back & forth made it hard to workout, eat right, etc. My guy stuck with me even though i got so fat & moved here over a year ago & is excited about our new healthier lifestyle. (He's only 15 lbs overweight) He bought us both mountain bikes & I can't wait for warmer weather so we can hit the trails.

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My significant other moved out two weeks ago. I am now officially a statistic...despite my broken heart I still have no regrets. I'm lost and confused but at least now I'm 115 lbs lighter and I get endless date offers.

Can't speak for everyone else but my situation got increasingly worse with every pound that I lost. People get used to you being morbidly obese and sometimes they don't know how to deal with you when you are no longer unhappy with yourself

Sent from my Nexus S 4G using RNYTalk

A wonderful relationship is in your future.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
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      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
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