WLS Cover-up Story

[angry 158]

You may be worrying for no reason. Before the surgery I stressed about what I would tell people (not including family) because I didnt want everyone to know. I got my sleeve on a Friday and went back to work on Monday. It has been seven weeks and I have lost 32 lbs. No one has any idea I did anything. I thought oh the weight is going to melt off of me and I will be so skinny people will have questions. In real life I still wear the same size clothes and no one that doesnt know I had the surgery knows that I have lost a pound. In the interim, I have started saying that I am on a diet, and not consuming alcohol (in public) so that in the event I do start to have the lbs melt off of me, it will make sense.

[atroglet 29]

Personally, when I had my lapband surgery I made up excuses to friends and coworkers. I told them I had a come to Jesus meeting over my vacation to start eating smaller meals (mostly Protein drinks) and start moving more. Fine and dandy until 8 weeks later I get REALLY sick.

I became septic because of a nick of my liver during surgery and almost died. One lie became a million until I wasn't sure who knew what.

Needless to say, I won't be broadcasting it but if asked I will definitely tell them what I'm doing. Plus I just didn't feel good about myself making all kinds of crap up. What if I could help someone who is also obese out with the truth than making them feel like more of a failure because they can't be the type that can diet and exercise the weight away.

Don't know if I'm making any sense but just the way I'm going to deal with it. To each their own.

[gomekast 559]

I'm being pretty selective with who I tell. I know the psychological part of this...why do you feel you can't tell everyine?..but truth is, I'm not ready for everyone to have an opinion on something I'm doing to save my life.

I'm the type that doesn't care what others say or think, but I still respect people enough to listen to their point. I don't want to deal with that until after I've made it threw the surgery and I am out of the complication risk stage at the beginning.

The people that know are the ones I have no problems telling to relax and back off if need be. The others that I know would not be supportive won't know anything is up until the see me. Which will be later rather than sooner anyways.

[A_ReNUDE_me 148]

Personally' date=' when I had my lapband surgery I made up excuses to friends and coworkers. I told them I had a come to Jesus meeting over my vacation to start eating smaller meals (mostly Protein drinks) and start moving more. Fine and dandy until 8 weeks later I get REALLY sick.

I became septic because of a nick of my liver during surgery and almost died. One lie became a million until I wasn't sure who knew what.

Needless to say, I won't be broadcasting it but if asked I will definitely tell them what I'm doing. Plus I just didn't feel good about myself making all kinds of crap up. What if I could help someone who is also obese out with the truth than making them feel like more of a failure because they can't be the type that can diet and exercise the weight away.

Don't know if I'm making any sense but just the way I'm going to deal with it. To each their own.[/quote']

Makes sense...I'm telling important support ppl, but lying to mom and I'm so nervous. I'm writing her a letter just in case something horrible goes wrong. But I know she won't understand and will inadvertently try to talk me out of it. As far as my coworkers if they ask what I'm doing..I will politely tell them I've made some changes and leave it at that! Full disclosure does not apply to my personal healthcare.

[Shells_Almost_There 357]

My psych eval doc advised me not to tell anyone about my surgery, since then I'll be under a microscope. I agreed, but I didn't want to lie about a surgery I wasn't having (as noted above, you may need to actually have your gallbladder out as a result of VSG), so, I took a vacation! I've "been on vacation" for a couple of weeks now and it has been amazing. (I haven't taken a real vacation in 4 years, so it really was the truth - there just was a little surgery mixed in there, LOL) I've had friends come to visit from out of town, my mom hung out with me, and I've taken care of a bunch of personal things. No one, other than the 3 people at work who actually know why I was out, have questioned me. One thing that's made this easy is that I have been slowly losing weight since the first of the year and on a high-protein diet since June. People already knew I was making significant dietary changes, so when I'm actually back in the office and losing weight, it won't be out of the ordinary. They are used to seeing Water and Protein Drinks on my desk. It has also been kind of fun, since I've been relaxing and I'm stress-free for the first time in years.

[ItsMe2033 143]

I only told my girlfriend, two very close friends, and my mom.

I think there are really two issues.

1) What do you tell people because you are going to be out of work for a while?

2) What do you tell people afterward after you lose a lot of weight?

If possible, you should avoid telling people a lie that you might have to later admit to telling. Instead it will be easier and keep your options open if you tell people an incomplete truth.

At work you shouldn't have to tell HR anything other than you need the time off for medical treatment or surgery. Your supervisor may be more curious, but you should just say that you are having surgery and if your supervisor pushes for what kind of surgery, just say abdominal surgery, but that you don't want to talk about it. Or, if you have lots of vacation time stored up, you could just take vacation time and if anyone asks just tell them that you aren't going anywhere, but just going to get caught up on things around the house. Depending on how important it is to you to keep this under the radar, taking vacation time will result in less chance of people finding out.

Once you are back at work, I would suggest drinking lots of Water and Protein shakes in the most visible way you can. If there is a break room, drink some of them there instead of just at your desk. I suggest that you go at least a month or two and not eat anything at work, just drink Protein Shakes. You want to draw a little attention to the Protein Shakes, but not too much. If someone asks you if you are dieting tell them you are on a diet like the Slimfast diet where you drink Protein shakes a few times a day and eat a small meal in the evening. If you want to keep this under the radar you do not want to be eating pureed food at work. Once you are back to eating normal foods you can eat at work if you want to, but I would keep this as out of sight as possible so as not to draw undue attention to yourself.

Just the other day, at the nine week post surgical mark did someone at my work noticed that I had lost weight. It was when I had just reached the 65 pound mark that someone noticed. Even though you might think people would notice sooner, they don't usually. I did have a few people at the gym notice at about the four week post surgical mark, but at the gym I wear t-shirts which let people see the outline of my abdominal area in a more detailed fashion.

Start walking at lunch and invite other people to join you.

Once people start noticing your weight loss, you can simply accept their compliments and thank them and try not to become the topic of conversation too much. Do not tell people how much weight you have lost if you can avoid it. They probably don't know what you weighed before, so when you have lost 60 pounds and someone notices, if they ask how much you can tell them I haven't weighed recently, but I think I've lost more than 20 pounds. People simply don't know what you weighed before and they don't know what you weigh now. If they ask more about your secret to losing so much weight then just tell them that you are watching what you eat and that you are exercising. Ask them if they want to go walking with you at lunch.< /p>

As you lose weight, don't suddenly start wearing a whole new wardrobe. Even if you go out and buy all new clothes, you can start wearing one new thing per week, and retire one of your old ones per week. Also, go to a thrift shop and find some used clothing in your new size, because when you wear something that's used, but "new to you" people will be less likely to notice it than if you are wearing all new clothes. You want to wear clothing that is moderately loose. If you wear very loose clothing it makes you look like you are flopping around in your clothes and it will make people think you have lost more weight. On the other hand if you wear things that are too form fitting it shows your new smaller size too much.

Once you get several months down the road, you need to come back on here and post this same question from the view that you are several months post op and that you have kept it a secret thus far and you want to continue to do so to get some more tips.

[Fit2btied 122]

I'm being pretty selective with who I tell. I know the psychological part of this...why do you feel you can't tell everyine?..but truth is' date=' I'm not ready for everyone to have an opinion on something I'm doing to save my life. I'm the type that doesn't care what others say or think, but I still respect people enough to listen to their point. I don't want to deal with that until after I've made it threw the surgery and I am out of the complication risk stage at the beginning. The people that know are the ones I have no problems telling to relax and back off if need be. The others that I know would not be supportive won't know anything is up until the see me. Which will be later rather than sooner anyways.[/quote']

I am the same way. I'm doing this regardless

Of others opinions so why deal with anyone

Who may not be supportive?

[Peggy 53 69]

I am hoping to keep my upcoming WLS a secret from most people. I hate lying but can't tolerate hearing everyone's opinion Do you think it's believable to I'm having my gallbladder removed? Then when I start losing weight I was going to say I had some complications with the surgery.

There is a difference between lying and not talking about it. I told only a very select few and to the others I said nothing. I agree about having to stealth with everyone else's opinion as well as those who then put you under the microscope. I have known many who used the gallbladder story then later said they just decided change their eating habits...stay away from the "complications" line cuz nosey people want to know the details. Keep it simple.

But I do like the 'anal fissure' hemorrhoid story line... That's precious!

[A_ReNUDE_me 148]

I only told my girlfriend' date=' two very close friends, and my mom.

I think there are really have two issues.

1) What do you tell people because you are going to be out of work for a while?

2) What do you tell people afterward after you lose a lot of weight?

If possible, you should avoid telling people a lie that you might have to later admit to telling. Instead it will be easier and keep your options open if you tell people an incomplete truth.

At work you shouldn't have to tell HR anything other than you need the time off for medical treatment or surgery. Your supervisor may be more curious, but you should just say that you are having surgery and if your supervisor pushes for what kind of surgery, just say abdominal surgery, but that you don't want to talk about it. Or, if you have lots of vacation time stored up, you could just take vacation time and if anyone asks just tell them that you aren't going anywhere, but just going to get caught up on things around the house. Depending on how important it is to you to keep this under the radar, taking vacation time will result in less chance of people finding out.

Once you are back at work, I would suggest drinking lots of Water and Protein shakes in the most visible way you can. If there is a break room, drink some of them there instead of just at your desk. I suggest that you go at least a month or two and not eat anything at work, just drink Protein Shakes. You want to draw a little attention to the Protein shakes, but not too much. If someone asks you if you are dieting tell them you are on a diet like the Slimfast diet where you drink protein shakes a few times a day and eat a small meal in the evening. If you want to keep this under the radar you do not want to be eating pureed food at work. Once you are back to eating normal foods you can eat at work if you want to, but I would keep this as out of sight as possible so as not to draw undue attention to yourself.

Just the other day, at the nine week post surgical mark did someone at my work noticed that I had lost weight. It was when I had just reached the 65 pound mark that someone noticed. Even though you might think people would notice sooner, they don't usually. I did have a few people at the gym notice at about the four week post surgical mark, but at the gym I wear t-shirts which let people see the outline of my abdominal area in a more detailed fashion.

Start walking at lunch and invite other people to join you.

Once people start noticing your weight loss, you can simply accept their compliments and thank them and try not to become the topic of conversation too much. Do not tell people how much weight you have lost if you can avoid it. They probably don't know what you weighed before, so when you have lost 60 pounds and someone notices, if they ask how much you can tell them I haven't weighed recently, but I think I've lost more than 20 pounds. People simply don't know what you weighed before and they don't know what you weigh now. If they ask more about your secret to losing so much weight then just tell them that you are watching what you eat and that you are exercising. Ask them if they want to go walking with you at lunch.< /p>

As you lose weight, don't suddenly start wearing a whole new wardrobe. Even if you go out and buy all new clothes, you can start wearing one new thing per week, and retire one of your old ones per week. Also, go to a thrift shop and find some used clothing in your new size, because when you wear something that's used, but "new to you" people will be less likely to notice it than if you are wearing all new clothes. You want to wear clothing that is moderately loose. If you wear very loose clothing it makes you look like you are flopping around in your clothes and it will make people think you have lost more weight. On the other hand if you wear things that are too form fitting it shows your new smaller size too much.

Once you get several months down the road, you need to come back on here and post this same question from the view that you are several months post op and that you have kept it a secret thus far and you want to continue to do so to get some more tips.[/quote']

That is a very good plan...but I still say it's ok to NOT have to tell ppl anything. There are way to many nosey coworkers in my opinion, that feel like they are entitled to personal information, so I'm sticking to my guns and smiling and changing the subject whenever they ask. That's not a lie, it's omission and coworkers can certainly be omittes. The lie to my mom is just till after I get out of surgery, to prevent her from having a stroke...I just pray my coworkers get the point that it's off limits or else I may have to get NeNe Leakes on them o_O and will be sooooo happy to let a few of them know, to back the #&$@ out my space

[AtlantaRed 651]

I've already had my gallbladder removed so I will be saying hiatal hernia repair. However, having had my gallbladder removed for over a year now, it would be safe to use that excuse and say as a result your having to eat a bland diet which in turn is causing weight loss and since you were unintentionally losing weight, you thought you'd make the mist if it and up your exercise!

[Andrew0929 1,102]

I think saying you had your gallbladder out isn't a bad 'excuse', but I wouldn't say that you're losing weight because of complications from the surgery. People will have a lot more questions then, and probably genuinely worry, especially once you lose 50-75-100+ lbs! If someone told me they had complications from surgery and then they started losing their hair, and lost 100 lbs I'd think it was cancer, fear for their lives and bug them constantly for fear they might die! Seriously.

Your loss won't necessarily be noticable right away to many people, but once it is and the questions start rolling in, maybe just tell people that having your gall bladder out made you want to lose weight so you've been exercising more and eating less. Which won't be a lie! You really will be exercising more and eating less! That's what I've been telling everyone, I'm 10 months out now, and no one knows any better. I, personally, keep it that way. I have told a very select few people, it is a very personal choice and whatever you decide to tell people, I hope you don't tell them you're sick or had complications because they will genuinely be worried sick with concern. Just my two cents.

You're right. The "complications" part of my story isn't a good idea. I will stick with the "gallbladder surgey" and then just say "dieting and exercise" and hopefully that will satisfy all of the inquisitions.

[Andrew0929 1,102]

I think saying you had your gallbladder out isn't a bad 'excuse', but I wouldn't say that you're losing weight because of complications from the surgery. People will have a lot more questions then, and probably genuinely worry, especially once you lose 50-75-100+ lbs! If someone told me they had complications from surgery and then they started losing their hair, and lost 100 lbs I'd think it was cancer, fear for their lives and bug them constantly for fear they might die! Seriously.

Your loss won't necessarily be noticable right away to many people, but once it is and the questions start rolling in, maybe just tell people that having your gall bladder out made you want to lose weight so you've been exercising more and eating less. Which won't be a lie! You really will be exercising more and eating less! That's what I've been telling everyone, I'm 10 months out now, and no one knows any better. I, personally, keep it that way. I have told a very select few people, it is a very personal choice and whatever you decide to tell people, I hope you don't tell them you're sick or had complications because they will genuinely be worried sick with concern. Just my two cents.

You're right. The "complications" part of my story isn't a good idea. I will stick with the "gallbladder surgey" and then just say "dieting and exercise" and hopefully that will satisfy all of the inquisitions.

[Andrew0929 1,102]

Personally, when I had my lapband surgery I made up excuses to friends and coworkers. I told them I had a come to Jesus meeting over my vacation to start eating smaller meals (mostly Protein drinks) and start moving more. Fine and dandy until 8 weeks later I get REALLY sick.

I became septic because of a nick of my liver during surgery and almost died. One lie became a million until I wasn't sure who knew what.

Needless to say, I won't be broadcasting it but if asked I will definitely tell them what I'm doing. Plus I just didn't feel good about myself making all kinds of crap up. What if I could help someone who is also obese out with the truth than making them feel like more of a failure because they can't be the type that can diet and exercise the weight away.

Don't know if I'm making any sense but just the way I'm going to deal with it. To each their own.

You make some good points and I do hate to get all caught up in a web of lies. One lie leads to another, when trying to cover-up the truth, and eventually it can all become apparent to everyone that I was lying. That turns into a lot of work for me (keeping track of all the lies) and for no net gain if everyone figures out the truth in the end.

This is what I'm struggling with in trying to determine whether to attempt to cover up or just be (somewhat) honest with everyone from the start ...

[Andrew0929 1,102]

Personally, when I had my lapband surgery I made up excuses to friends and coworkers. I told them I had a come to Jesus meeting over my vacation to start eating smaller meals (mostly Protein drinks) and start moving more. Fine and dandy until 8 weeks later I get REALLY sick.

I became septic because of a nick of my liver during surgery and almost died. One lie became a million until I wasn't sure who knew what.

Needless to say, I won't be broadcasting it but if asked I will definitely tell them what I'm doing. Plus I just didn't feel good about myself making all kinds of crap up. What if I could help someone who is also obese out with the truth than making them feel like more of a failure because they can't be the type that can diet and exercise the weight away.

Don't know if I'm making any sense but just the way I'm going to deal with it. To each their own.

You make some good points and I do hate to get all caught up in a web of lies. One lie leads to another, when trying to cover-up the truth, and eventually it can all become apparent to everyone that I was lying. That turns into a lot of work for me (keeping track of all the lies) and for no net gain if everyone figures out the truth in the end.

This is what I'm struggling with in trying to determine whether to attempt to cover up or just be (somewhat) honest with everyone from the start ...

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

Only say you're getting your gallbladder removed if you actually ARE.. otherwise, if you ever have to get it removed for real, then that's another cover story you'll have to invent... If you really feel you need a cover story, you could say you're having a hiatal hernia repair...And it's something in the digestive system, so it would require the liquid diet and all that.

Personally, I just didn't say ANYTHING. That left my options open so that when I was ready to, I could tell people. I waited until I had lost 100 pounds and then just casually told people about it... kind of like in an "I can't believe you didn't know" kind of way.