Struggling. I am also a tad bit depressed in realizing with full force that VSG was never a cure for what's going on in my head. All is well in my life for the most part. I have a great new job that more than pays the bills, hubby's got a good job, we have excellent benefits, basically life is improving every day (the last few years have been rough for us financially, just like 90% of people, I'm sure). My son still has Autism Spectrum Disorder, but is doing very well at home and in school. For the most part, everything is fine in my life. So why did I eat almost 2000 calories yesterday? Why was yesterday such a battle? I am 5 freaking pounds from goal...just why? Ugh. Just a vent in hopes that some of you get me. I do see a therapist, so I will definitely be bringing this up next session, but ugh. Again.

I understand that you feel like you were undermining yourself, and you sound like you are on the right track. I'm glad you plan on discussing this with your therapist.

But, you need to put things into perspective as well. You had a 2,000 calorie day, which most people would consider being on a diet. It wasn't a week of 2,000 calorie days or a month of them. It was a day.

How did you do the next day? How do you do normally? That is what you need to worry about most.

Perspective is necessary at both ends of the spectrum. What would you have eaten in a day in the past?

Don't beat yourself up. Learn what you are doing and what you have done and measure your successes and challenges.

I spent alot of years striving for perfection and treated myself like crap too much of the time. I am not sure i know the answers, but one thing I will say is that best I can tell... normal people mess up too. They just don't see themselves as failures over it. You have done AMAZING so when you look at the big picture, it is really hard to see how you are "struggling". know what I am saying?

I feel like I have done amazingly well, and it took me 14 months to get to goal.... by my standards you have been a very fast loser so you must be doing something right!

I think you are doing great! Remember it's just one day - the important thing is that you are acknowledging that you weren't comfortable with your behaviors and that means you have an opportunity for growth. None of us go through life without struggle - I think most if not all of us on this board deal with the psychological issues surrounding food, disordered eating, dysmorphia following massive or rapid weight loss. I know I will always be challenged by these issues - it sounds as though you have a fantastic support system at home - and you have another one here. Don't forget - it is one day among many - it is the trend over time that matters.

We all have days like that. It's taken me a long time to be mindful and think about whether I want to gain a lb or 2 or 3 if I have one of those days. I can keep it under control better, if I am having a stressful day, or just a day that everything sounds so good, and all I want to do is eat. Most of the time, I am able to talk myself out of it.

For the most part, those days are a lot less frequent.

The best part is, it does not go on for days. I get right back on track the next day.

You mentioned that you have a new job... is something about it bothering you? Or is there a trigger there? Could be nothing. You could just have had an "off" day. You are allowed to have those you know! Just do not "catastrophize" a slip. We all have slips (i.e. dammit I ate x amount over calories, had an extra cookie, whatever). But it's about perspective. Don't let a slip become a lapse, collapse or a relapse. Know with every minute, it's a chance to undo that slip - don't look at it as a chance to say screw it and snow ball into a twinkie over dose. Or dang, was that only me in the old days? Hang in there hon! This too shall pass!