I'm new here and this is my first post. My husband suggested I reach out and talk to the people who know best (I think he was referring to health care professionals....but if you want the nitty gritty, you have to go to the people who REALLY know!) I am a military wife and am moving right along with the steps to the surgery. My husband was/is very supportive about this decision. My mother is not, but she keeps quiet ( I think it's more out of fear because I am her only daughter and the youngest and besides....Mamma's don't like their babies having the majority of one of their organs removed!) My best friend (and Im not talking about someone I've known for like a year or two, I mean attached at the hip for the last 15 years type of best friend) she is definitely NOT in support of this decision. More on all this at a later post. I wonder if I'm taking this SERIOUSLY. I know all about the hard work, the ups and downs and the losing and regaining, the slowly not being able to fit into those FANTASTIC jeans that you loved so much and were soooo proud of when you could finally get down to the size to fit them but as you gain weight they just get a little tighter and tighter until they also go into that stock pile of "my skinny" clothes that lurk in the back of the closet. BELIEVE ME, I KNOW!!!! I have battled my weight as far back as I can remember. I remember the elementary school wanting to put me on a "suggested" diet in the 2nd grade and me going on my first "official" diet when I was 12.......18 years later....here I am!!! Ok. So what I'm getting at is that I'm no stranger to being overweight, losing it, and putting it right back on.....but when I think about my stomach being "mostly" cut out.....I don't really feel anything. No jitters or butterflies.......almost like it's not real. The hard work does not frighten me. The pain that comes with the surgery does not frighten me. My eye is on the prize. I imagine my perfect self (and in this order.....a little vain, but come on, you've done it too) 1. Wearing a very fashionable, classy, and slimming outfit that becomes me so I can show myself off...you know, the kind that turn a few heads and gets u a little attention 2. Jogging the neighborhood with my husband and keeping up with him (and yes I'm talking about one of them "commercial" jogs. You know the ones where you are just trotting along, not out of breath and smiling, waving at the neighbors.....and nothing is jiggling that shouldn't be jiggling) and 3. playing in the front yard with my future kid. I mean REALLY playing and not sitting on the front steps and just watching the action. That's me. My perfect self. It's far fetched I know. Real world is that heavy or not, 1. the perfect outfit is out there its just by the time I put it all together I'm super late for whatever I'm wearing it for, my husband is aggravated and cussing and it usually rains during all my special occasions and my hair frizzes 2. Anybody who is jogging, smiling and waving at the same time deserves to be run over. 3. I know the future kid is out there, but get real. There has to be a reason that I am 30 years old and only own two dogs...right.....right? So, is this real? Are there other pre-stomachless people out there who feel the same as me? Undaunted by surgery, the risks, and "THE DIET OF ALL DIETS" and living in some la-la land dreaming about my perfect self??

. We've all had to chat with the psyc at some point and if they think we've got our heads in the right place than that's all that matters.

:-)

I don't know about that. My psych eval was pretty weak. He wanted to make sure I didnt have a severe eating disorder. But as far being prepared for what was coming....nothing he said scratched the surface. There are going to be issues. Some people deal with them just fine. But everyday there are posts here by people who are freaking out because they can't eat a cheeseburger or they're remorseful about having surgery at all because it's hard and they can't dull the emotional pain with a load of food.

Not to mention the heaps of panic attacks posted everyday by people who aren't losing weight as fast as they should.

I'm just saying that the psych eval doesn't mean much.

My wife says I'm perfect just the way I am........(just goes to show you how skewed people's viewpoint can be). I'm my worst critic, so I know I'll never be perfect. Frankly I'm striving for just staying alive.

I don't know about that. My psych eval was pretty weak. He wanted to make sure I didnt have a severe eating disorder. But as far being prepared for what was coming....nothing he said scratched the surface. There are going to be issues. Some people deal with them just fine. But everyday there are posts here by people who are freaking out because they can't eat a cheeseburger or they're remorseful about having surgery at all because it's hard and they can't dull the emotional pain with a load of food.

Not to mention the heaps of panic attacks posted everyday by people who aren't losing weight as fast as they should.

I'm just saying that the psych eval doesn't mean much.

Yes, your right about that. The psych eval was a poor example, I'll admit that.

I know that for me, I've had 8 YEARS of psych therapy to prepare myself for this journey.

My only hope is that others don't 'judge' someone else just because they've got a different set of coping skills.

I need this surgery to save my life, quite literally. I still prefer to use laughter and positive things to keep it light. It works for me, but not for a lot of others on this forum.

I happened to get lucky and found a few others who can relate to where I'm coming from.

I fully appreciate reading those posts you mention where someone's freaking over that cheeseburger or pissed because they can't eat heaps of food now. It shows me that it's going to require determination, tons of hard work, and it's not always going to be fun. I'm ok with that. I'm ready for that.

This thread was simply put, a breath of fresh air.

Ummm... I think as I said before that I'm sure everyone would like to look better... Was that my driving force on deciding to have surgery? No.

As my friend Marilyn Manson once said...

"As I see you all sittin' out there trying your hardest not to be ugly."

I'm 47 and know that looking for "perfection"

Is unrealistic.

Does that make me "holier than thou"?

As to whether the op herself is "qualified"?? not my place to say really.. But her original post did ask the question.

As far as humor?

It's a good thing! and trust me you will need it on the rough days for sure.. But, at the end of the day a little seriousness is called for too.

I've not posted pictures of my blood work, but I am VERY PROUD of my gains in health like my blood work and getting off meds for high blood pressure!

But I think focusing on health is the most important thing. I guess in some people's eyes this makes me the things said above?

Am I holier than thou? A Debbie downer??

I think not, I'm a woman that likes to live, laugh and love in reality.

I do feel better and more attractive, but about a million miles from perfect. I have to watch the negative self talk. After fitting comfortably in size 6 clothes (and not those gigantic vanity size 6s!) I was excited for bathing suit season- right until I tried three or forty on looking for one that fit OK. Also has a crappy experience at Victoria Secret trying on bras. I don't have nearly as much extra skin as some, but it's too much for their bras. Also, I really hate the extra skin. Not enough to have plastics because they are expensive and I'm just not up for more surgeries. But I do feel like I look WAY better at 135 instead of 254. Perfect? No, but much improved!

Lynda

Ummm... I think as I said before that I'm sure everyone would like to look better... Was that my driving force on deciding to have surgery? No.

As my friend Marilyn Manson once said...

"As I see you all sittin' out there trying your hardest not to be ugly."

I'm 47 and know that looking for "perfection"

Is unrealistic.

Does that make me "holier than thou"?

As to whether the op herself is "qualified"?? not my place to say really.. But her original post did ask the question.

As far as humor?

It's a good thing! and trust me you will need it on the rough days for sure.. But' date=' at the end of the day a little seriousness is called for too.

I've not posted pictures of my blood work, but I am VERY PROUD of my gains in health like my blood work and getting off meds for high blood pressure!

But I think focusing on health is the most important thing. I guess in some people's eyes this makes me the things said above?

Am I holier than thou? A Debbie downer??

I think not, I'm a woman that likes to live, laugh and love in reality.[/quote']

I sincerely hope you didn't think I meant you when I mentioned Debbie downer. I did not mean to offend anyone, wasn't speaking about any one poster in particular.

I actually love reading your posts because your honest and real with humor tossed in.

:-)

I think that many people have dreamed up the "perfect self" but most people know that's not exactly how it turns out...

I wasn't nervous at all not even during surgery prep and I think i terrified my nurse a bit because I was so calm.

I knew exactly what I was getting into, I knew it wasn't going to be a miracle surgery and pounds and excess skin were just going to fly away by themselves.

I knew the work I was ready to put in and I knew it was going to change my life in a positive way for my health.

Everyone I knew supported me in my decision, friends family coworkers. Except one brother who was there at the hospital the day if my surgery because at the end of the day I'm his sister and he was there to support me.

After surgery wasn't always easy some days were really hard. Some nights I couldn't sleep at all and others I slept like a baby. My skin broke out in an allergic reaction to what I know know is artificial sweeteners they use in the Protein powders. So I can only use stevia which I usually use for everything else anyway but the protein powders/drinks are made with others so I can't drink them. Had to get creative a bit but none the less its one more thing learned. I completely hate the taste of chocolate it repulses me! Lol things change and have accepted each change and each thing as this is my new life... It's not a diet. This is part of who I am now.

So yeah sometimes I can look to the future and see myself enjoying a day playing softball with my family.... But I don't think that's abnormal.

I sincerely hope you didn't think I meant you when I mentioned Debbie downer. I did not mean to offend anyone' date=' wasn't speaking about any one poster in particular.

I actually love reading your posts because your honest and real with humor tossed in.

:-)[/quote']

Oh well then! Welcome aboard! (Complements will get you everywhere with me by the way)

I know you weren't speaking to me directly.

And as I said laughter is important to all of us on this ride....

At least that's what I was telling myself this morning when I stuffed myself into my vanity sized 8 jeans (juniors yay!) this morning

Sod the jogging commercial. I'm going for rollerskating along a tropical beach promenade in white lycra mini-shorts, listening to 80's soft-rock whilst using sanitary protection for the first time in years, with Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Anniston as cheerleaders shouting 'you're worth it' as I flip my (no doubt) threadbare but shiny, fragrant locks (and a 'bird') in their general direction.

I say as long as you're compos mentis about the cons (which you clearly are), you have every right to revel in the potential pros. As Oscar Wilde once said: 'We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.'

You go, girls! x

Bottom line - only you can answer whether or not you are taking this seriously enough. I asked myself numerous times if I was. Looking back, I think it was a kind of temperature check. Was I understanding the risks sufficiently? Was I understanding that it might not work for me? Was I doing it for the right reasons? Was I "worthy" of insurance approval as I was a lightweight? I kept checking on my motivation for months - even while waiting to be taken back to the OR. I wanted to make sure I would have no regrets. - and I don't. Regardless of whether or not I am ultimately successful long term I am happy that I did this.

Ummm... I think as I said before that I'm sure everyone would like to look better... Was that my driving force on deciding to have surgery? No.

As my friend Marilyn Manson once said...

"As I see you all sittin' out there trying your hardest not to be ugly."

I'm 47 and know that looking for "perfection"

Is unrealistic.

Does that make me "holier than thou"?

As to whether the op herself is "qualified"?? not my place to say really.. But her original post did ask the question.

As far as humor?

It's a good thing! and trust me you will need it on the rough days for sure.. But' date=' at the end of the day a little seriousness is called for too.

I've not posted pictures of my blood work, but I am VERY PROUD of my gains in health like my blood work and getting off meds for high blood pressure!

But I think focusing on health is the most important thing. I guess in some people's eyes this makes me the things said above?

Am I holier than thou? A Debbie downer??

I think not, I'm a woman that likes to live, laugh and love in reality.[/quote']

My post of holier than thou persons were not directed at you. I have had people harass me on that level. You shouldn't assume all posts made on a topic pertain to your posts since neither Gomekast nor I specifically mentioned you as a culprit. And yes, I too have read some of your other posts and have found them entertaining, guess I am a bit baffled by what seems to be defensive posts. Again truly, wasn't referring to you in my post.

I think anyone that has high blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, hypertension etc. that has succeeded in lowering through this surgery, or dieting and exercise in general is going to be mighty proud of that achievement. I was simply pointing out that, although they are, that's not the results 90% of people go about showing off. It's perfectly fine to be a little bit vane now and then, I don't think I've met anyone of this forum that is guilty of being conceded lol.

Sod the jogging commercial. I'm going for rollerskating along a tropical beach promenade in white lycra mini-shorts' date=' listening to 80's soft-rock whilst using sanitary protection for the first time in years, with Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Anniston as cheerleaders shouting 'you're worth it' as I flip my (no doubt) threadbare but shiny, fragrant locks (and a 'bird') in their general direction. x[/quote']

I laughed out loud. You had me at Lycra mini shorts.

My post of holier than thou persons were not directed at you. I have had people harass me on that level. You shouldn't assume all posts made on a topic pertain to your posts since neither Gomekast nor I specifically mentioned you as a culprit. And yes' date=' I too have read some of your other posts and have found them entertaining, guess I am a bit baffled by what seems to be defensive posts. Again truly, wasn't referring to you in my post.

I think anyone that has high blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol, hypertension etc. that has succeeded in lowering through this surgery, or dieting and exercise in general is going to be mighty proud of that achievement. I was simply pointing out that, although they are, that's not the results 90% of people go about showing off. It's perfectly fine to be a little bit vane now and then, I don't think I've met anyone of this forum that is guilty of being conceded lol.

[/quote']

As far as assuming these posts were about me?

If I had thought that, I would of quoted said posts.

I was giving my opinion on what weight loss surgery means to me.. It was not defensive, if you felt harassed on that level by others? I'm sorry to hear that.

I think being a bit older, I might have different views and expectations than a person in their twenties.. I know I felt differently when I was 25.

As far as feeling vain? Well.. I feel good and hell even sexy sometimes but I wouldn't call it vain..

But that's my feeling about it.

Ok on that note you guys can have your thread back... We are just different and have different ideas, that's not a bad thing... Just different.

Different opinions should be valued in the analysis of life experiences! With age (don't kill me) comes a wisdom of past experiences and with youth comes dreams

Bring on the dreams Baby!

Perfect me wears skimpy apocalypse ready gear while walking/rollerblading the two perfectly trained Great Danes at my side. Brilliant.