I am Pre-Op and working through all the mental challenges that are involved in making the decision to get this done. I am 5'9" and weigh about 290+/-. I have discussed this with a few people and most are supportive, except for two who have a minimal 10-20# overweight struggle. For some reason they are convinced that I only need to lose 40# and that the weight charts put out by the medical community are NOT accurate for today. I know I need to make this decision myself, but it is not an easy one to make.

I don't think I have any food addictions, I don't eat a lot of sweets, and I don't usually eat when angry/sad. Most of my issues are that I have poor eating habits. I don't eat 3 meals and overeat at night. I do well on a diet for about 2 months and then get tired of counting calories and get hungry... then when I get off the diet all my weight comes back.

What I want from this is to be healthy and to live a normal life WITHOUT overeating, but I still want to have cookouts at the house, hang out with friends, have a few drinks, and not look at food and think I am physically unable to eat. I want more energy, a longer life, and no stress when I go to an amusement park or Water park with my kids. I am afraid of doing this because it is not reversible and I keep thinking, "what if I am miserable for the remaining part of my life?" I feel defeated because I should be able to lose the weight and because I am weak I am considering WLS.

I know I am not the only one that who has had all these emotions. Any thoughts?

dont worry.. I was at a cookout yesterday... almost 3 months out.. I ate, I didnt eat as much as i used to.. but i ate.. Quality of life afterwards for me has been nothing but smooth... I dont have to worry about dropping dead everyday.. Im on ONE PILL... a high blood pressure med which i plan on being off real soon.. Down from 5 pills... No more diabetes, No more cholesterol meds... no more anxiety meds.. .. Your not weak,.. This process is not a "I give up". This process is a "I give in" I have actively chosen my life over what I used to live which was sad... What if, what if, what if, no.. So what, Now what? I made myself fat and I tried many things to help me not be fat and not be unhealthy, it didnt work.. SO WHAT, NOW WHAT? Now i had to decide if i was going to do what i needed to do to live.. I chose LIFE! and I want you to chose life also.. sorry if i come off passionate about it, but i am.. Life is amazing when you are taking life by the wheel and controlling it.. I wish you the best

Well your worried about quality of life post op,

I would ask what your quality of life is now?

Listen it WILL be different yes, but for all of us that's the point, what we were doing before was not working. In a way I did this to take my free will away for awhile because I could not be trusted with food. Food, I love it, I hate it.

This will help you but you still have to make choices, like not eating at night, I still struggle with that by the way because I am a night time soothing eater...

You need to heal after surgery so that's nonnegotiable you need to follow the food stages, but once you are months out and further?

You can eat "normal" just smaller amounts, some have problems with certain foods but a lot if us further out? Nope we can eat anything.

For me, there was no question in my mind that I needed to do this. I have been on the weight yo-yo my entire life, and I had nearly 100 pounds I needed to lose. Tired of being a frequent flyer with Weight Watchers. I knew the surgery would involve a commitment to permanent lifestyle changes, and I was ready. So far, I am at 4 months post-op and down 65 pounds. And I have NO REGRETS - would do this again in a heartbeat! It was the best decision I have made in a long time. But I will not lie - it has been, at times, difficult. My head still wants pizza sometimes, or pasta, or whatever everyone else is eating. But I am commited to doing this the right way - I eat my lean protein and veggies and quit after a few bites when I am full. Is it POSSIBLE to eat whatever you want after surgery? For some people, yes, and for others, no. I cannot eat concentrated sugar in any form without horrible stomach cramps. But it is ALSO possible to gain all that weight back by eating slider foods and junk. With the ability to eat so little, you must be focused on getting nutrition in every bite. And it all boils down to calories in, calories out. You can pack a lot of calories "in" with alcohol and slider foods. So unless you are ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle, I would say "wait." For me, it was a no-brainer - I was totally ready, and I have NO REGRETS.

First of all, nice MINI Cooper! I had a chili red/white '03 Cooper that I had to get rid of when the third kid was on the way. Now I have a True Blue/White '12 Cooper Countryman, and love it. As far as your concerns, they are valid. Your whole relationship with food will change. I no longer enjoy eating, I do it because I need to. This is a double-edged sword. On one hand, sometimes it gets me down that I can no longer go to buffets and enjoy large meals like I did before. On the other hand, it is because of this that I have lost 80 lbs in 4 months, gotten off blood pressure medication, cured my sleep apnea, have a ton more energy, am in 34 jeans for the first time in 17 or 18 years (and probably will be in 32's soon!). I couldn't have done it by myself. I've been able to lose weight doing various diets, but was never able to sustain it. There have been times in this journey where I know I would have sabotaged myself in the past, but the sleeve wouldn't let me. For example, I was in a stall for a couple weeks, and feeling down, and just wanted Taco Bell. I got Taco Bell, and was able to eat half of a soft taco. Hardly sabotage. Before, I would have just kept eating. I say to go for it. I don't regret it. It will be an adjustment, for sure, but one for the better.

My quality of life is exactly like all of yours was Pre-Op. Thankfully I have not started meds, but I feel like CRAP and I am at that place where meds are inevitable. It seems like it is getting more difficult to breathe and I don't want to do anything.

Do you guys think the "Ideal Weight" charts dr. use to track weight are accurate?

At 5'9" I should be 176# max. That seems VERY small for a 44 year old male.

1/2 a taco is not a lot of food. WOW...

Did any of you have people that constantly tried to talk you out if this? It make the decision VERY difficult and depressing. What do they think now?

When ever I climbed my stairs at home before I felt like death was near! No joke I was winded heart palpitations, and I knew I wasn't long for this world. Now I run up those suckers

Yeah there where naysayers "oh you don't need it" "you don't look that big" "you'll have saggy skin" what do they say now? "WOW you look great! So healthy"

1/2 a taco is not a lot of food. That was at about 2 months after surgery. I can eat a whole taco now. I only told a few people beforehand, and got the same reactions from all of them - "You're not THAT big", and "You can do it yourself". I made the decision to stop telling people, because I had already made my decision and they weren't being helpful. People who are not overweight don't and can't understand the struggles we've gone through. Now, when I tell people, I show them my before and after pictures and explain all the related health issues that have been resolved. They all say I did the right thing and think I look great. After seeing the pictures I took with my shirt off, they all say "I honestly never saw you as being that big". I guess I dressed well and hit it well. Everyone I've told afterwards has been very supportive. Some have more questions, and I'm more than glad to answer them.

When ever I climbed my stairs at home before I felt like death was near! No joke I was winded heart palpitations' date=' and I knew I wasn't long for this world. Now I run up those suckers

Yeah there where naysayers "oh you don't need it" "you don't look that big" "you'll have saggy skin" what do they say now? "WOW you look great! So healthy" [/quote']

Oh ideal weight charts? I picked a number in the healthy range of BMI I'm 47 and I want health but I won't be winning any bikini contests

I think your concerns are what most people are concerned about pre-op. What is life like post-op and how much will I have to change? My husband was about your size (prob. 5'10" on a good day and about 280) and he was sleeved about 2.5 years ago and has maintained a weight of 215 now since about 9 months post-op fairly easily. He does not count calories (except when I give him a hard time...lol) and for the most part he was much like you, no big eating issues, just ate too much and not giving much thought to his diet.

Now that he is off BP meds, (he got off them 10 days post-op) and a healthier weight, he exercises regularly, and basically is healthier and happier. I'm in the same boat (though I exercised before having surgery, he did not) and while I'm battling a +15lb regain I would have NEVER been able to keep the weight off before. I'm almost 3 years post-op and would NOT have been this successful without surgery.

Keep asking the questions and doing the research to decide if this is something you can live with. I'm sure you will find the right answer for you.

There are more ways to measure whether you are healthy than just the BMI. (waist/hip ratio/body fat/etc). In all of those other ways, I am in the normal range. For BMI, I am still overweight.

Before I had the surgery, almost everyone in my life didn't think I was "that fat." I was told more than once that I was "too little" to have surgery. Once I actually lost the weight, and my family looked at old photos of me they were shocked at how big I was.

food wasn't a big deal for me before, and it isn't a big deal for me now. I can eat what I want to eat, but I don't eat very much of it. For instance, I might have a bite of cake instead of a gigantic piece of cake.

I don't eat a lot of bread or potatoes, and I try to stay away from chips because those are sliders.

There are things I don't consume -- like pop (soda), but I had given that up way before I had surgery. I try to avoid empty calories, but I also don't want to settle for something that tastes horrible. If "low fat" doesn't taste good, I eat the "full fat" version but less of it.

Oh and for his height he *should* weigh less than 215, but he never wanted to be SKINNY, just healthy and he looks great at this weight. I think in a perfect world he would like to weigh around 200-205 but the last lbs are the hardest to lose.

I do think those weight charts are accurate (for most people, bodybuilders, for example, are a different story). Your friends trying to tell you they are not accurate for "today" sound like they want the medical establishment to just give up and declare everyone who is overweight is now "ideal weight!!!" so they (your friends) can feel better about themselves.

My dad is 6'1 and if he gets over 185 he starts to look pudgy -- and he's 78. He usually keeps it down around 178 and looks great at that weight.

Hi, I cannot tell you how much I love what I have done.. in the beginning it is hard. total lifestyle change food wise... I was afraid at first .. I was like OMG what if it doesnt work? I came to this site and all those fears were normal.. Have I regretted anything? yes on thing.. that I didnt do it sooner. I am 7 mo post op.. and let me tell you.. Ive got 32lbs to go for my goal wt.. Im 5`8. I was 296lbs... ive lost 104lbs.. I now shop for reg clothes.. no longer plus sizes... I love shopping now. I love shoes.. I love purses.. my poor hubby LOL. He had the sureger too.. he has lost 112lbs and is at his goal wt in 7 mo.. we have done exceptionally well Im told my my doc.. I even bought a bathing suit.. I go to the gym 3 days a week for cardio and wt training.. .life is the best ever.. I eat normal foods... I watch what I eat tho. No fast food.. once in a great while I will.. but I dont eat much as it is.. I watch my potein and fluid intake.. but other than that I eat like others.. I go out to eat.. I bring most of it home but thats ok.. I fit in booths.. I can go to the amusement parks and fit in all the rides.. no extra belt when I fly... I even got a smaller car.. a sporty 2013 Veloster. I get compliments left and right... about how great I look..and I even get called skinny I reply not yet but im almost there. Every one at both my jobs have been soo supportive.. but most of all.. my hubby has been the best.. so great things are in store for you.. and most of all . Im healthy.. I was before but overweight.. I had no health issues.. my hubby did.. high blood pressure and diabetic.. he came off both meds the day of surgery.. and does not need them anymore.. so you see.. this is helping us be healthy and we are doing the things we love the most.. traveling... best of luck to you.. you will be normal.. we are.. just like everyone else.. only skinny now

Thank you everyone. I feel EXACTLY how all of you have described and share all your experiences. I Hate stairs, can't fit on rides, hate planes, hate shopping... My kids want to do so many things that I make excuses for because I don't want to tell them the truth, I'm too fat. I'm ready to take them to Water parks.

Everything you are telling me is exactly what I want. I am the kind of guy that listens to people who have been where i am and are where I want to be so I am going to continue to move forward.

It bothers me that my friends do not support me, but my wife does 100%. I guess that is all that matters. I have my 2nd NUT appointment next week. 1 month down 2 to go.

Last Friday, one week ago, I was approved and my surgery is next Friday. This thread was a lot of encouragement and I read it regularly. I do t have any serious preop diet so I am o. A farewell to food tour, not binge eating, but eating things I like. I don't nor yay drink cokes, but I am this weekend when I go out to eat.