BigDaddyJoe

She's done pretty well, down 55 lbs since April 19. She could do better, but she doesn't follow all "the rules". She doesn't always do the protein shakes, eats things like ice cream, and drinks these frapuccino things that she gets from Costco, even drinks soda occasionally. I don't dare say anything. She would get defensive, and tell me that I need to start eating those things. There could be something to the completion thing, I'm 15 lbs lighter than she's ever known me to be. I mentioned that to her, that she's never known me this thin, and just has to get used to it. Her reply? That she would have never dated me if I was this thin. SMH.

I don't know what the issue is. She is usually very supportive. I don't know what to think anymore, my body image is so out of whack. What I see in the mirror is not what I see in photographs. But if she is jealous or feeling threatened, she should be doing the opposite, not what she's doing now.

So, my wife today again used the "S" word to describe me - Sickly. She says I'm getting too thin, and need to put on more weight. I don't know how to stop. I think I may be leveling off - I was 178 a few days ago, 180 yesterday, and 181 this morning. I don't want to start going in the wrong direction, but she doesn't understand that. I've told her several times that it hurts me when she says that, and that it isn't helpful, but she won't stop. Come to think of it, she's never really been very supportive of me, post-op. She had the surgery also, so you would think she would understand. But when I would be excited about the weight loss, or breaking a stall, I would get little or no reaction from her. I'm not quite sure what her issue is, but it is maddening to me. Maybe it's because I'm thinner than I've ever been in the 17 years we've known each other. Maybe it's because some of my clothes don't exactly fit me too well, and my neck looks tiny in the too-big neck holes of my tshirts. Who knows? Oh well, everyone else tells me I look great, and I feel great, so I'm going to try to not let it get to me.

Haha, thanks for the laugh Bluto, I needed that!

I had my 6 month follow-up appointment with my surgeon and nutritionist yesterday. It was basically a waste of time. The receptionist and nurses were all shocked when they saw me, said they barely recognized me. That felt nice. The scale said 189, so they have me as an 85 lb loss. I still go by my home scale, which puts me at an 88 lb loss. He said I was doing great. I mentioned that people were telling me that I was losing too much weight and needed to stop, and he told me 'tell people to shut up, you're doing great'. I then went in to see the nutritionist. She is basically useless, I could do her job at this point. I asked her how I stop the weight loss. She said "I don't know, I hope it will just stop on its own". I pressed her further, and she said "You could try eating more". I told her I can't eat more than I do now. She said "You can try eating more often, more snacks". I said I could try, but that it was already hard to space my eating and drinking apart to get in enough liquids. She said "You can try adding in some more carbs, maybe some oatmeal or potatoes." I said sure, even though I know if I eat them, I won't be getting to my protein goals. Oh well, guess I'll have to figure it out on my own. She said that I should try to make it to one of the support group meetings they have once a month. Not that I need the support, but that I would be an inspiration to all the people who go to them. I will try to make the next one, but it's hard because it's at the same time as my son's drum lessons. The best thing about the appointment was that I got my gold star. My surgeon gives you a keychain when you start your journey. When you lose 10% of your total weight, you get a bronze star. 20% gets you a silver star, and 30% a gold star. I've attached a pic of the keychain and stars here. It's kind of a cheesy idea, but gives a sense of accomplishment.

time4me, I do need to dress 'younger'. However, I am 42, and don't want to look ridiculous, like someone trying to hold on to their youth. There's a delicate balance. My stepmother is only a little overweight, not obese or anything. She struggles with it, like most people. My wife suggested she may be jealous, but I don't see it.

Haha, Rebecca! The light jeans were from years ago, the only ones that fit me without looking ridiculous. I've since bought some newer ones that are darker and more in style. I wasn't wearing jeans yesterday, I had on black dress pants and a polo shirt. It was a 50th wedding anniversary, and I wanted to look nice. I usually dress 'hipper' than that.

Thanks kathp! I think how I was dressed did play a part of it. It was a newer shirt, so it fit correctly, but it was really long. I always wore long shirts before, to hide my belly. Shorter shirts tended to ride up in the front and always made me look fat. Ok, I WAS fat, they just let people see that I was. As for stopping the weight loss, I have my 6 month follow-up with my surgeon and NUT on Thursday, and definitely plan on talking to both of them about it. I tell people that when they tell me I need to stop losing. I don't think they expected me to have lost this much at this point, I sure know I didn't.

To be fair, she didn't make the statement to me, she said it to my wife, and probably didn't expect it to make it back to me. It was still hurtful.

Thanks everyone. I knew I had a distorted image of myself, but I didn't think it was THAT distorted! Cajunlady, my wife was the first one to start telling me I needed to stop, but she never said I looked older. In fact, we were 'intimate' the other night (for the first time in a couple years, but that's a whole other story!), and she said that it weirded her out because she felt like she was with a 12 year old boy because there was nothing to hold onto! TMI, I know, but I thought it was funny. Bluto, that does make sense. It has been a big change in such a short period of time for the people around me also, so their image of me needs to change as much as my image of myself needs to change.

OK, here is a bit of a rant. Lately, it seems that everyone has the opinion that I have lost too much weight and need to stop. I currently weigh 186 lbs, just at the top of the 'normal' range for my height. I don't want to look sickly, and don't think that I do, but my image of myself is distorted, and I know that. My mind hasn't caught up with the rapid weight loss yet. It is starting to piss me off how everyone is insisting that I need to stop losing weight. I know that, and plan to, but don't even know how to at this point. I can't eat more than I do now. Yesterday, my family and I went to a 50th anniversary party. We saw my stepmother, who I haven't seen in about a month or so. She kept telling me I was done and needed to stop. I kind of snapped back at her, which is out of character for me, and I'm sure threw her off guard. I said that I wished people were this concerned for me when I weighed 274 (and growing) and had ACTUAL health issues because of it. Her reply was that I was more open to talking about it now, since I was so open to talking about the surgery. I guess that's a fair point, but still annoys me. When we got home, my wife told me that my stepmother told her that I looked like a little old man, and that the surgery made me look 15 years older. This REALLY hurt and upset me. I told my wife that I wished she hadn't told me that. She couldn't understand why it upset me. She said that my stepmom was just stating her opinion, and that she was concerned about me. I said that I was upset because I didn't go through all of this to look like a little old man. While I had the surgery for health reasons and not vanity reasons, I still wouldn't like to look older. I'm 42, and don't want to look like a little old man. My wife also said that it could have been what I was wearing. I had on a polo shirt that was kind of long and made me look taller and thinner than I really am. My wife agrees that I'm getting too thin, but doesn't agree with the little old man comment. My wife also had the surgery, and looks amazing. She is 40, and could pass for 25 now. She is not yet to goal, so who knows how she'll look if she also gets 'too skinny'. I told my wife I don't want to look like the old man dating the model. I'm not even rich! LOL I was really depressed by the whole thing last night. I'm a little better about it today. The whole process has been an emotional roller coaster. I really think they need to strengthen the psychological requirements for weight loss surgery, and have mandatory psych follow-ups AFTER surgery. This site is what has kept me sane, just knowing there are other people who have had similar thoughts/experiences as me. I've attached a before and after photo of myself to this blog post. I'd love opinions about whether I look 'too skinny' or 15 years older. Thanks.

Yes, I would like to lose a few more in case I end up gaining a few in maintenance. I don't ever want to see a number starting with a '2' on the scale again!

I got on the scale this morning, and I am now 190 lbs, my surgeon's goal! I had gone camping for a week with my son's Boy Scout troop, and did pretty much EVERYTHING wrong. I tried my best, but it was hard. I didn't get nearly enough protein, water, ate too fast, and ate not the right things. I got home and was down a lb. But then, the next day I was down 2 more. And the next day (today), down another. I have lost 84 lbs from my top weight. My wife and a few other people are telling me I am starting to look too skinny. I don't agree, I'd like to lose another 10 or so lbs. I'm still not even considered in the 'normal' range yet, 189 is the upper end of the normal range for 6'1".

My wife was going to Walmart yesterday, and texted me at work to ask if I needed anything. I said 'new clothes and sneakers'. I wasn't expecting her to actually buy me anything, but she asked what size pants I was wearing now. I had to close my office door so that I could check the size of the jeans I'm currently wearing. I told her they are a 36 and would fall down without a belt. I never even realized that I was wearing a 36 until I checked yesterday. These are old jeans I still had in my drawer from years ago, and are the only ones that aren't ridiculously big on me now. She asked me what size I was wearing when I was at my biggest. I said that I never really knew my 'true' size. I was wearing 42 or 44, but was wearing them under the belly, not at the belly like you're supposed to, so was probably bigger. She picked me up 4 pairs of shorts, in 34. I thought 'no way are these going to fit'. Well, guess what - they did! I haven't been a 34 in probably 17 years, I'm guessing. Can't believe I've come this far in only 4 months! This is the best thing I've ever done for myself (besides marrying my wife).

It has been a while since I posted anything. I guess that is because there hasn't been too much to report. I just looked at my last post, and it was May 31, and I weighed 214. As of this morning, I weigh 199! I haven't been under 200 in at least 15 years. I'm only 9 lbs away from my doctor's goal of 190, and 19 lbs away from my goal of 180. I've lost a total of 75 lbs now. I thought I was losing quickly, but now that I think about it, 15 lbs in a month and a half isn't that quick. I want to be at or below my doctor's goal by my 6 month follow up. Guess I need to step it up!

I am celebrating 2 things today. First, I weighed in this morning and am now down 60 lbs! I weighed 214, down from 274. In not even 3 months! I can't believe it. Second, my doctor took me off of my blood pressure medication yesterday! This is huge! He had cut my dose in half a few weeks ago, and this visit was a follow-up to see how I was doing on the half dose. They took my blood pressure when I first got in, and it was 120/70. He was happy with that and was willing to keep me going on the half dose for now, until I mentioned that I've been getting light-headed when playing the trumpet while standing up. He had me stand up to take my blood pressure, and it was 108/70. So he told me to go ahead and stop taking it. He wants to see me again in another 3 weeks to see how I'm doing off of it.

I've finally broken my stall after almost 2 weeks, and have lost a lb. a day for the past 3 days! I knew it had to end eventually, and tried not to stress about it, but it was hard! I'm now 224, 50 lbs from my top weight of 274. So excited!

I agree, Serendipity! Almost like our mind is doing it to us. I know it will come off eventually, just seems like it's taking forever to start moving again. Before this past week, I was losing .5 to 1 lb a day for a little while.

OK, I guess I jumped the gun a week ago when I said I was no longer obese because I weighed 227 and my BMI was 29.9. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between 227 and 229. Guess I'm in some sort of a stall. Oh well, I'm not really stressing over it. I know I'm still doing all the right things and it will move when it wants to.

Subtitle: I'm no longer obese! I'm no longer obese! I never in my life thought I'd be so happy to utter these words! I weighed in this morning at 227.0. That calculates to a BMI of 29.9, and I'm no longer considered obese! I was 227.6 yesterday, so I knew it would be a matter of days. In less than 8 short weeks, I've moved from obese to overweight, have cut my blood pressure medication dosage in half, and stopped taking my prescription Prilosec. Next goals: I'm 3 lbs away from losing 50, getting off my BP med completely, and getting off my CPAP machine (AKA the medieval torture device). Another (perhaps less realistic) goal is to lose 7 lbs by May 13. May 13 is my 13th wedding anniversary, and I'd love to get down to the same weight I was then (220). It will be hard, because my weight loss has slowed this past week or so, but I know it's possible.

So, I went for my 6 week follow-up visit on Thursday, and also saw my primary care physician the same day. First, the follow-up. My surgeon was very pleased with my progress. I've mentioned about the scale discrepancies before. The first visit with the doctor, his scale and my home scale showed the identical weights (274), so that's what they had as my starting weight. Every visit since then, their scale has been 5-6 lbs higher than the home scale. So according to them I went up to 280 before the surgery, but they still have 274 listed as my starting weight. This last visit, they had me in a different office than usual, and that scale was 7 lbs higher than the home scale. So according to them, I have lost 36 lbs, even though at home I know it is 43. I'm not going to argue, they are still very happy with 36, and I would be also if I didn't know it was actually 43. Now for the primary MD visit. He was amazed at the difference in how I looked, and my weight loss. My blood pressure was 110/80, and he said that in 2 weeks I can start cutting my BP pills in half and he would evaluate me again in 6 weeks. This is huge for me, getting off the medication was one of the major reasons I did this surgery. Also, big news - on Friday my wife was sleeved! That's why I haven't blogged about this other stuff until today. She is doing pretty good now, her recovery has been much different than mine. She has had a bit of a rougher time than I had, but I know she will get through it.

It's funny how everyone is saying they lost weight after cheating. I was stuck at the same weight for 9 days (the dreaded third week stall), and said screw it, I'm eating Taco Bell. I was only able to eat 3/4 of a soft taco. The next morning I was down 2 lbs.

I haven't posted in a little while, mostly because things have been going great, and there hasn't been anything really newsworthy. On Thursday, March 28, I went for my 3 week post op follow up. They have me down 26 lbs, but to me it is 31 lbs. I think their scale was off on my first visit by 5 lbs. I weighed 274 lbs on my first visit with clothes on, and also weighed 274 at home with no clothes. Every visit since then, I've been exactly 5 lbs more at the office than on the home scale. So, according to them, I started at 274 and now weigh 248, for a total weight loss of 26 lbs. But according to the home scale, I started at 274 and now weigh 243, for a total weight loss of 31 lbs. They are very happy with the 26 lbs, and said I can start eating small pieces of solid food, and have no more restrictions on lifting or exercise. 26 lbs or 31 lbs, I'm happy, even though I've only lost one lb in the last week. I feel like I am almost doing TOO good, if that makes any sense. The other night I cooked up a Freschetta pizza for the kids, and I was able to eat a very small piece. And tonight for Easter dinner, I was able to eat very small quantities of ham, mashed potatoes, corn, Mac & cheese, creamed spinach, with zero issues. It doesn't seem right, from reading other people's posts, that I should be able to eat these things, especially at only 3 weeks post op.

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/blog/2259-my-journey/

Great article, DayByDay, thanks for sharing!