I am a future Mexico self pay sleever.

I was originally scheduled for March 9th but had to reschedule. I got extremely sick and the doctor's could not find anything wrong. I did not want to go through surgery not knowing why I was hurting and sick. I rescheduled my surgery for July 27th.

In the meantime I started thinking and worrying more and more about my daughter's weight. She is 14 and been overweight for 2 years. She is 5`3 and weighs 248. She has tried to diet and exercise but has a very hard time losing weight. The doctors can't find anything to stop her from losing medically.

She is starting a new school, in a new city this year after going to the same school her whole life. She is terrified of being made fun of. I also don't want her to deal with all the side effects of being overweight. I know I don't have to list the side effects on here, just think of your own personal experiences.

About a month ago I contacted my doctor, Dr. Garcia, and sent him her medical info. He accepted her for surgery even though she is very young. I changed our dates to August 10th, paid her deposit, and booked the flights for us.

Now, I am having second thoughts. I am terrified of taking my young daughter to another country for surgery. I don't know if I am being pro-active and stopping this before it gets out of hand or letting her give up on losing weight on her own. Then I start thinking that her life has barely started and I am forever altering her. My mind is just racing with thoughts.

She is very excited about the surgery though.

I need some advice from people who have had surgery, from parents, or anyone else who wants to respond.

Nursebarbie according to your profile you are not even 1 month 1 week post op yet so you have not been sleeved long enough to experience the true physical and emotional journey you are about to go on, (no disrespect intended) her daughter is young going through all kinda teenage changes society has already placed a bad rap on young beautiful girls making them think that if they r a size 0 they have worth.

You are right and I bow down to you. Infact let's fire all the doctors too since most cardiologists have never had a hear attack so what do they know? And those male ob gyns too! Imagine them knowing how to deal with being pregnant! When I go back to work in a week I will be sure to tell all the other nurses and doctors that we are idiots who cannot advise anyone of health issues unless we have the same medical problems. And we better find shrinks who are crazy too right? After it takes one to know one right?

You deserve the blue ribbon for this line of thought. Thanks for a laugh.

And thanks for investigating me. I wasn't aware that we have so many "experts" on here. Amazing. You get a surgery and bingo you are a PhD.

Not so u came to the table giving your point of view and so did I. What I said about the young lady and society imagery is true what I said about u being sleeved one month out is also true. God forbid but u are still in the danger zone to hve leaks. We were all terrified of this possibility to put a kid in this dynamic is jst scary. I am 9 months out and still hve to work very hard at making right decisions about food, exercise, interactions with others its a lot for a 14 yr old to handle. At the end of the day it is a hard journey for us all as adults and we all r here to support the mom and her daughter and I am sure u r to. With that being said opinion is one thing experience is another.

Oops I forgot to mention I have a Phd ))))

Great. A doctor of philosophy. Not a medical doctor so I personally do not care.

You personally attacked me out of all the posters who felt the same way as me. To me that does not demostrate someone who has a very well rounded education. Especially a doctorate of philosophy which balances its points of view with reason and deep thought. I hate to tell you this but its just a gastric surgery not a quadruple bypass or massive traumatic brain surgery. Many people have their stomach removed for other reasons than weight loss and go on with their lives. I find you to be rude to single out one poster in this thread when many others echoed my point of view. I shared something very personal with the other members. By doing what you have done you have demostrated zero compassion and zero common sense.

U r entitled to your opinion hve a great life

Great. Something we can agree on.

I gave my opinion of this when the thread was first opened but i didn't really expand on my reasons for it.

I cannot help but think of my 2 ex sister in laws. As children borh were ovrweight and then obese. As they grew older and entered JR High school they started to really care what others thought. They wanted boyfriends , to be accepted at school etc. they started trying to diet but failed at all attempts. Not really fail because they would lose 30-40 lbs but they couldn't keep up the momentum and eventually regained. They had so much to lose and felt like the end was too far away to ecer reach. Most of us know that story all too well. How i wish that this surgery had been availale for them in the early 80s. It wasn't though and by the time they were 15 and 16 years old they were both diabetic. They struggled with their health for the next 5 years until the biggest fear was realized. At 20 and 21 years of age they were both put on kidney dialysis. 2 years later the older sister had a leg amputated. Within a month the younger one lost her eyesight. Within the following year the younger one lost a leg and her sister also went blind. The youngest sister died from heart failure at the age of 26. Her sister died do to a pulmonary embolism at 29.

Why do i tell this story? Because these girls would have avoided all of that had they been able to get the weight off and keep it off. They tried and couldn't do it on their own. Had they been able to have this surgery their life story would have to be rewritten. I believe that. I do not believe that it is always in the best interest of a child to be forced to wait until society thinks they're old enough. Sometimes common sense needs to enter into it. Sometimes we need to understand that this isn't a one size fits all subject. Sometimes this surgery saves lives and who deserves to live a long healthy life more than a young person?

By the way, i see that once again my ipad has dropped letters and rewritten words for me. Grrrrr, please look past the typos.

Well said.

Yeah....watch out for the spelling police around here too. Neighborhood "sleeved" watch might getcha!

Thank everyone for their help and kind words, from people who were kind. I did not ask for help meaning to start problems.

As a family we made a decision. I took EVERY opinion into consideration.

We decided for me to do the surgery first so I will be able to take care of Kaleigh when she has it. We are planning it for the Christmas Holidays. This will also give her time to see first hand what she will go through.

In the meantime, I signed her up for a very detailed, high dollar weight loss program.

It is customized to her needs. It is not a LA Weightloss type place where everyone gets the same diet plan.

They also believe in high protein and low carb diets so she will already be used to the after surgery diet.

Shw will also get full lab work done including tests for diavetes, thyroid, cortisol, b12, cholestetol, and alot more stuff. She will be seeing a doctor so if there is something wrong they will help her fix it.

She will see a nutritionist weekly, she will get her metabolism tested weekly to make sure everything is working right, she will be getting b12 injections weekly, shw will be monitoring her diet on a website daily for her nutritionist, she will wear a monitor 24/7 that wil monitor her exercise and caloric intake constantly. There is alot more as well.

I paid half of what the surgery would cost for 3 months of this program.

I pray it works but we all know how diets work. I am not expecting miracles but at the very least it will help her adjust to what life will be after surgery.

So basically she is still scheduled for surgery but it is being put off for a few months. I believe she is mature enough to handle it. I hope this works and something that drastic doesn't happen but I am a realist about diets.

This is a very intense diet and if it does not work for her it just proves even more how much she needs surgery.

Thank everyone so much and I will let everyone know her progress as well as mine.

She is still my support person fof Mexico so she will have a seat front and center for that portion.

What a forum! The depth of care here is amazing. So much empathy with this youngster and her wonderful mother!

Wannabaloser, I like your plan. Your daughter is in good hands. You are covering all of the bases.

I have little to add. I was pulling for a time of homeschooling or a tutor while your daughter made some transitions but you said she did not do well before with homeschooling. Could some adjustments be made? I was glad that a poster attended her future school and didn't experience bullying. If you send her there I hope for the same outcome.

You are a mother that will fight like a wounded grizzly for your child. It is a joy to behold!