Okay so I'm still in planning stages for my VSG. When I first decided I was going to do this the next thought was, who do I tell about this ? or do I not say a word, hop a plane to Mexico, get it done and come home then tell everyone that I'm having "fabulous" results with Weight Watchers.

But I REALLY want to share this with people as I'm so excited that my new life will start soon. But as soon as i think about it the reality hits that truthfully not all my friends and family are going to see it quite like I do.

Here's what I face. I have a few friends that will smile and say "oh wow" and "how exciting" and offer no resistance. Then they go home and say to their husbands - holy ****, she's losing her mind, Mexico ?? surgery ?? really ??

Then there's the friends that I call the "researchers" - they seem to spend hours trolling the internet looking for all the things that can kill you. These are the ones you dread the most. Their mouths drop open in horror and they immediately start spewing out endless facts, horror stories and statistics. It goes like this "I don't want to frighten you, but are you aware that dozens of women are abducted at gunpoint in Mexico and are never seen again" and it goes on and on.

Then there's my lovely mother - now in her 80's. She would say "you don't need to do something that drastic, you've got a lovely face, can't you just stop eating chocolate" ?

But if you're lucky, you'll find one little gem of a friend that gets it. That totally understands that I HATE looking in the mirror and i HATE being invited to gatherings because nothing fits or looks right and I HATE ending each day feeling like a failure because I ate badly and didn't take proper care of myself (again) and she knows what it means to me to have this done.

But the nice thing is - even if you aren't lucky enough to have that one great friend, we do at least have this forum where EVERYONE gets it, everyone knows what it's like.

Okay so I'm still in planning stages for my VSG. When I first decided I was going to do this the next thought was, who do I tell about this ? or do I not say a word, hop a plane to Mexico, get it done and come home then tell everyone that I'm having "fabulous" results with Weight Watchers.

But I REALLY want to share this with people as I'm so excited that my new life will start soon. But as soon as i think about it the reality hits that truthfully not all my friends and family are going to see it quite like I do.

Here's what I face. I have a few friends that will smile and say "oh wow" and "how exciting" and offer no resistance. Then they go home and say to their husbands - holy ****, she's losing her mind, Mexico ?? surgery ?? really ??

Then there's the friends that I call the "researchers" - they seem to spend hours trolling the internet looking for all the things that can kill you. These are the ones you dread the most. Their mouths drop open in horror and they immediately start spewing out endless facts, horror stories and statistics. It goes like this "I don't want to frighten you, but are you aware that dozens of women are abducted at gunpoint in Mexico and are never seen again" and it goes on and on.

Then there's my lovely mother - now in her 80's. She would say "you don't need to do something that drastic, you've got a lovely face, can't you just stop eating chocolate" ?

But if you're lucky, you'll find one little gem of a friend that gets it. That totally understands that I HATE looking in the mirror and i HATE being invited to gatherings because nothing fits or looks right and I HATE ending each day feeling like a failure because I ate badly and didn't take proper care of myself (again) and she knows what it means to me to have this done.

But the nice thing is - even if you aren't lucky enough to have that one great friend, we do at least have this forum where EVERYONE gets it, everyone knows what it's like.

Hang in there! I didn't tell a soul at work nor my friends except one. Only a select few family members know and they are sworn to secrecy!! This is your business and your journey and no one has the right to squash your determination. If you want to keep it to yourself then do so. If you want to tell some make sure you chose wisely. Your scenarios are pretty much dead on and that is why I kept it quiet. I didn't want their opinions or suggestions no matter how caring or jackassey they wanted to be. This is a serious journey and major change in my life and I honestly have found more love and support from this forum then I could ever get from my people in my life that don't know about it. I wish you the best!!

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

~ Dr. Seuss

Be who you are and say what you feel' date=' because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

~ Dr. Seuss[/quote']

I agree with Dr Seuss and thank you Who Dat 70461.

Maybe I'm just old and pretty bitchy (and I've become a bit bitchier since I've stopped pushing it down with food), but I frankly don't care what people think. I told my family and close friends along with my medical reasons for having surgery. Everyone is very supportive (at least to my face). A few of my friends lamented that they wished they were able to have the surgery too, but they are not really large enough.

But I don't advertise. When someone compliments me, I just say thank you. If they ask how I have lost weight, I tell the truth, "cutting down on what I eat and exercising (which is absolutely true -- the surgery didn't remove the weight. It just made it easier for me to do it).

People are going to think what they want, judge or not judge. I don't really have the time to care. Too busy living the full life I have been missing for all of the years I was carrying around an extra 80 lbs I don't need.

Hope this helps.

I say do whatever feels right at the moment for you. Many times I think I know how I will respond in a certain situation and when it really does happen, I do the opposite because that is what feels right. Hang in there and just know you have alot of friends here supporting you all the way!

I am keeping it pretty quiet too. My one neighbor asked me what I had surgery for because one of my kids told them I was just home from the hospital & I told him I had a hernia repair. Done. It's no one's business as far as I'm concerned. Good luck whatever you decide!

I think everyone approaches this differently given the set of people you know. I have been open about it to my friends and family and have gotten nothing but support. I am one of the lucky ones. I feel especially compelled to let tell people that are struggling with weight about my experience. I don't tell random people I haven't seen in a while about my procedure because it isn't worth it. Ultimately this is the BEST decision I have made for myself and I am to busy loving the results to care what anyone thinks. Best of luck to you!