gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[feedyoureye 3,087]

OK, I was 176.5 this morning, I want to get down to under 171 by....? When it happens. Here is my plan for today....and Water water water!

 

add: My bounce range is 170-173... so getting back there is the plan.

Edited September 22, 2014 by feedyoureye

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

5:2 check in - I weigh 146.5 this week; my goal is to get back to 140 (where I was declared a skinny chick - ha); my stretch goal is a new bounce range of 135-140.

My weight this morning is a miracle considering the excesses of last week (work related workshop, with every evening out at dinner at fattening type places and wine, no exercise, Snacks all day - I tried hard to control myself, but it was not pretty). I wonder if I will actually bounce up, you know how the scale can sometimes be a delayed reaction.

anyway, my goal is to get back to 140. My stretch goal, if my body cooperates, I want to maintain in the 135-140 bounce range. I don't like to timebox weight loss goals (that is my old way of all or nothing thinking), but I visualize I can get to 140 by Halloween.

I don't track so I don't count calories, but I have a pretty good internal counter and focus on carbs. If I eat the way I have planned, I will land in the 500-600 calorie ballpark and total carbs around 20 on fast days. Basically, Protein and veggies - no wine, no bread, no potato, no milk in lattes etc. I don't have a problem with Desserts and stuff too much, it is the "alledgedly healthy" carbs that sneak back into my life. If I feel weak, I need to up carbs so I do that whole listen to my body deal which still astounds me it works since it lied to me so much in the past.

I need to do all this without slipping into a mood issue. One reason I stopped 5:2 is I started to suspect that it was contributing to mood instability, so this will be an interesting experiment.

[coops 1,790]

half way through today's fast and it has gone well... salad with a table spoon of tuna pasta... stuffed after that to be honest. for tea I will have porridge made with Water - sounds horrible but tastes good for around 140 cals. happy days!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

"First, say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do." -Epictetus

This has been my mantra for well over a decade and it comes in handy once again! I did not weigh myself this morning because my scale has not arrived from Afghanistan yet, a blessing really because if I faced the numbers that I am sure it would show, I would crumble under the weight (npi) of shame and guilt and I am SO OVER THIS CATEGORY OF SH!++Y EMOTIONS.

That isn't to say I am not struggling with other emotions right now, chief of which seems to be a growing social anxiety which is completely foreign to me and quite upsetting....

At any rate, today WILL be my fasting day, I like doing a Monday, it feels like "start as you mean to go on" for me. So, this morning I am taking ALL of my Vitamins and having coffee; fresh ground espresso made in my super simple and stylish Italian stovetop percolator, with 1/3 cup raw goat milk and 2 packets of stevia, and some homemade chai concentrate. My fellow PNW chicks, have you tried Morning Glory Chai? I am obsessed with chai around the world and THIS is the BEST I have ever had. check it out.

Okay, so, I am going to push the hot sweet liquids all day, I have found that this helps curb my appetite, and then for solid food I will have chicken heads..... No, seriously!! I bought a giant bag of CHICKEN HEADS at the farmer's market because .... stock? I might have got carried away... well, I'm going to research how to cook CHICKEN HEADS now ... good luck ladies, we can do this! The food will still be there tomorrow!!

[Chimera 644]

Excellent Quote - I am writing that one on the inside of my eyelids.

 

Good news - I got the job at the bookshop I have my orientation tomorrow afternoon and then I am off to San Diego and Anaheim (woo Disney on Thursday) for a wedding - dreading the foods, but I know I will get many miles in at least on Thursday. I racked the highest number of miles my Fitbit has ever logged the last time I was at Disneyland last October (even more than the Superbowl parade - where we parked about 1000 miles away lol.)

 

Florinda, I am right there with you on the shame thing with gaining. I have really had a tough time of it, first gains since the surgery - so it sounds like I have excellent company because I think people who don't gain seem to be the anomaly.

 

Feeling terrified myself of that darned scale, but I got on it 5 minutes ago anyway. 182.8 and 39.3 body fat according to the Aria scale - ugh. The way its been going that 163 feels like the anomaly for me! 42.8 lbs to goal. At least I am still under 200 - there is that

 

Defrosted some homemade chicken and vegetable Soup - very satisfying and filling - so that will be dinner. I may have a Premier Protein shake in a few hours, or might save my bacon for a latte when hubby gets home. Gonna work on hydration, hydration, hydration!

 

Good luck gals and have a great day!

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

It's 10:30am, I am starving...haha, but did get in an intense 30 minute workout on top of my farm chores... got Multivitamins in but haven't choked down the Calcium yet. Okay, a good but hungry start!

No shame on the scale, I say use whatever accountability works for you. Reason I don't food track is my NUT figured out I had been "tracking" on and off since I put myself on my first diet in 3rd grade. Lots of shame and failure associated with it, even more than the scale so it triggers bad feelings. I say find an accountability method that keeps you "out of the shame zone"!

[swizzly 901]

SH*******TTTTTTT!! I just typed out a very long post catching up on things and then hit something wrong on the keyboard and caused it to disappear. EFF EFF EFF. I have so little capacity for stress these days, that seriously almost made me cry.

I need to remember to regularly to a Ctrl A/Ctrl C whilst I'm typing this stuff out, in case of this kind of thing. :-(

Now I don't know where to start cos I used all my wafer thin patience typing it out the first time.

Well, I had started off last time by saying CONGRATS to Chi, so I will start there again.

So. net-net -- I've gained roughly 15 lb in a short time, cos was maintaining without 5:2 for ages. None of my clothes fit -- not too tight only, but really do not fit. I caved and bought a few things in the next size up (10 for the record, back in double digits with a wardrobe full of 6-8s) and they are already too tight. GUTTED. This causes me to have stress every morning and throughout the day when things feel tight and I have giant muffin top etc. UGH, feel awful and ugly.

I started 5:2 again last week, Mon and Tues, and did pretty well. But then had work stuff and a girly weekend trip to Netherlands, so that involved eating, wine, and a lot of walking -- netted out without a further gain, so I'll take it.

Just did 5:2 again today, as well, and will tomorrow too -- hate the back to back approach, but it's the only option to work around work events and etc. Did really well today...then after having a lovely chicken salad for dinner, I polished off the rest of the Jelly Bellys I bought in Schipol, as well as a cupcake I'd got there and just "had" to eat before it went to waste. (In addition to the one I ate while I was still in the airport of course. I hate airports/flying so I eat badly and drink too much wine. Sigh.). So I sort of fasted and sort of effed up big time today.

I also wonder, as CGJ mentioned, whether 5:2 causes mood disturbances -- I posted about it in the 5:2 forum at some point a long time ago -- the very fledgling (cos they haven't done enough research yet -- imagine that, they haven't tested something properly on women yet. Shee-it) notion that 5:2 has an effect on hormones for women. Who knows.

Agreed with my coach, who I hadn't talked to in MONTHS and finally reconnected with, to take 5:2 as a starting point for getting my feet back under me, cos it also has the effect of not drinking wine at least two days a week. Is that sad or what? I honestly don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I've gotten in the very bad habit of self-medicating way too much...and it doesn't help and it DOES make me gain weight. *Sigh* again.

I don't smoke much anyhow, and I'm good at quitting, so that's bottom of the list. Cutting down further on wine, getting back in the gym, and doing some sort of meditation or yoga or SOMETHING for stress management, are taking up the middle positions on the list. So many ways to be out of control, so many of them that I'm doing. Unprecedented in my life, btw. I don't even recognise myself.

I have GOT to get myself sorted, but then I think that and it causes a sort of despair/fog of self-loathing to cloak me and that makes it worse. I have to find some compassion for myself and just start picking up the pieces again.

I can't believe what I've been through; I can't believe all I've given to work over the past couple of years. They don't even deserve it I think sometimes.

I don't know. Still lost but starting slowly to try to find my way. Now crying and going to bed to TRY to get some sleep -- god it would help so much if I could just sleep well a couple of nights a week (also on the list, but not sure how to tackle that one). Still super stressed about not having done any taxes and being way behind and not knowing how many billions I owe. JUST. UGH.

Don't read my posts, they will wind you right up I'm sure. :-(

Thanks for listening. <3

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Dee - I think that one step at a time is a good approach. I have also been drinking too much wine, I am not sure why exactly. Well, some of it is alot of partying and socializing. I have had both the best summer ever (fun, friends, activities) and a pretty freaking rotten one (death, sadness, that mournful feeling of a whole life just ending in a trainwreck - Betty). So, then maybe the glass of wine also becomes a "decompression" from the pain which is the bad part. Anyway, I don't get drunk and don't feel like an alcoholic, but there really isn't a good reason for me to have a glass or two everyday. I don't wish to quit, but I can cut back and feel good about that. I am now doing that.

I personally feel that dependance on junky food is actually worse. I work very hard to keep soothing foods out of my life (ice cream, cakes etc) because they make me feel physically horrible and trigger over eating in general. I am blessed that since the sleeve ice cream makes me "dump" - it is hellish and I tell you cured me of reliance on my favorite "sedation" - ice cream. I know how stressful travel can be - especially when you do it alot like you do (I used to). when I was obese I used business travel as an excuse to basically eat whatever whenever since time zones and plane schedules makes for an even more "disorganized" view then my daily eating life was (it was disorganized already, travel made it worse!). I don't have a good answer, but when I travel now, I put on my "be tough" mindset because it is so easy to fall into overindulgence when I am lonely, stressed and overly tired.

Anyway girl, I hope you can turn your work life into something happier. I really believe that having a life you love is one of the keys to success over the long run... and we are likely to live longer too!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Swiz, dump it all here! This is the right place. NO it does not end me up where you are, it is good to know others have a hard time at times too, and we CAN make our way out of it. We have done it before an we will do it again. After a few days it seems to get a little easier. I know you know all of these ideas, but I have to remind myself now and then....

~Have the right food in the house

~Have some of it pre-prepared for easy access, portioned, frozen or not...I just bought 30 days worth of WonderSlim veg chili.... 100 calls, ready to microwave...not really cheap... but I like it, and when i need a fast day meal for small calories... I use it.

~Have easy to go to Snacks that will fill you up and/occupy your hands and mouth quick.

I even keep "junk" like snacks around... I order on line, high Protein, crunchy, cheesy, lower calorie chips and such.

~Find a way to get the Water in... I make Decaf iced tea that I keep in the fridge, and love crystal light peach/mango green tea.

~When I am feeling impulsive, usually from some emotional stress, or that addictive impulse... I had better have something "go to" or I am sunk. Even this does not work all the time, but sometimes is usually enough... or better than the alternative!

The junk part is for when Im really feeling rough...I like to eat pretty clean most days... but some days are just too hard to do that!

We can do it!

Edited September 22, 2014 by feedyoureye

[Georgia 2,908]

Okay, Monday done! Toed the line for a non fast day and held at 905 calories. Tomorrow first fast for the week! Good work for all of us getting our butts back in gear. ????.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

It is nearly 7pm on the west coast, the witching hour, when warm food smells start wafting through the air, tempting. So far I have had 399 cals/31protein/19 carbs and not nearly enough liquids, maybe 20 ounces now that I think about it! crap! I am going to put the kettle on right now... okay, kettle is on, with 40 ounces in it!

So, I can tell that there is a MASSIVE difference in my mood and emotions without the self-medication through carbs, quite serious! I am not a psychiatrist but I would call myself manic today; highly irritable one minute, weeping the next second, flitting from one task to another, and my skin is crawling!

My solid food today is a salad with homemade basil vinaigrette, smoked salmon, and probably some beef marrow later for the satiation from the rich fat. Also, maybe some of my "cocoa water" before bed. That will probably bring my cal count to about 650, I am less concerned with overall cal count then I am of carb count, I would like to keep them under 40.

Swizz, I utterly feel your pain. My sleeve sister, I feel you. When I went to Germany I was the smallest I have been and bought the loveliest clothes. They do not fit me now. I have gone to Goodwill, and with averted eyes, bought things in sizes that break my heart. Suffice it to say, your "shame" size of a 10 was my triumph size so ....

Chimera - is there any literature out there you would recommend for disordered eating? I know this is a safe place for me to be honest, you guys will get it - with so much of my life frightening and unknown and dangerous, my food is the ONE thing I can control, and so for probably all the wrong reasons, 5:2 is bringing me comfort right now...

I would love to hear from Brown, if you are reading this Brown but don't want to talk right now, know that you are an incredible resilient woman whom we admire <3

check this out y'all....

http://www.upworthy.com/the-mirror-that-changes-the-way-women-look-at-themselves-for-the-better?g=2&c=ufb1

[sarsar 824]

I didn't fast today but I got through my day with clean eating. I don't track calories on my non fast days, I just eat well. That has worked for me in the past so I will continue with it.

My other goal for today was to do a double workout. This is my first double workout since plastics. It felt good! I usually do it once a week. I feel a little swollen but good!????

I'm so happy everyone is coming back together and cheering one another on!

Hugs to you, Swiz. So sorry you're having such a rough time. Take one thing at a time in your list and work at it. Sometimes, for me, when I'm in a rough spot, looking at the whole picture is just too over whelming. One step at a time. You'll get there.

I love what Sheryl said about being happy in life and it making us a success. I'm still not there yet. I look at my life and I should be happy but I'm not. I'm happy about certain things but I still feel like something is missing...I'll figure this out eventually!

Rest well everyone, or for those on the other side, have a great day!

[M2G 1,836]

Don't have much time, just popping in to say I did a fast day today, which was a yogurt, a Protein Bar, half a piece of toast, salad, and shredded pork (from my crockpot, yum) ....and a TON of water! Oh and coffee, oh and 2 pieces of small candy. Ugh. there you go.

Didn't track calories, but my estimation is probably ended around 700ish.

Thanks for the motivation ladies!!!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

...added peanut flax butter to my chocolate pudding, so that brings me to about 570. Good till tomorrow. Glad everyone has had a pretty good day. Miss you Brown!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Oh god, it is about 9:00 and it is taking everything in my power not to do a nosedive into some bread and butter I have, and I just can't bring myself to throw away a perfectly good loaf of bread I'm at 629 cals/19 carbs/45 Protein, it is clear to me now that, without Protein Powder, I cannot make protein goal while keeping under a certain cal point.

I WANT TO EAT THAT LOAF.