gain goal regain How was your 5:2 day today?

[No game 14,436]

I love your collages too Laura!

Lol! Thank you! That's my playing really I also make hypertufa pots and mini terrariums out of old light bulbs

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

So, I have gotten a few PMs from people regarding the plastic surgery scary pix... people expressing dismay but of course not wanting to say anything mean publicly. somebody like Susan that has admin powers, please watch for some jerk to say something awful to her. Recovery from plastics is such a head trip, and that is even if you have good results... I feel protective of Kris and just hope that they look better soon.

I am in admiration and a little jealousy of all your artsy types. I can drink wine and look at art with the best of em though - does that count?

I am having a physical problem that is causing me emotional distress... numbness showed up down my left arm. It is most likely a delayed reaction to nerve damage/recovery from plastics. Surgeon told me it could take 8-12 months to resolve. I haven't cried yet, it isn't THAT bad, it comes and goes and doesn't interfere with life, but I am sad. I guess I knew this could happen, but I just want to be 100% again and I am not and it makes me sad. I LOVE my results, but, I gotta wonder if it is worth it. I have heard that some people who get facelifts have permanent numbness - it is enough to make you consider just how bad is it looking your age...sigh.

What I am really feeling sorry for myself is that my EX is abandonning us at christimas. My boys are sad, I am sad. He is doing the right thing for him, but, I have decided I hate Christmas. baa humbug. Steven promised me that he would entertain me next week since I need a diversion from missing Christmas traditions. He is such a sexist, he actually told me that it is unfair that life is so hard for women - that we are just built too complicated. That he thinks being alone, going through emotional struggles is just easier for men. He might be right...but it is still a sexist thing to say. He also asked if I might not be experiencing hormone related swings, but I have been out of menopause for awhile so I don't think so but who knows.

The thing I experience is being happy as a lark and then a few hours later, feeling sad. I am not irritable or any of those things, just sad at times - seeming to come from absolutely nowhere.

[No game 14,436]

Jane,

I'm sorry you are not feeling a 100% did the numbness just start or has it been there all along?

Ex'es yep there is a reason they are ex'es pains in the butt...

your right Steven is sexist or at least that comment is..

Oh that thread, I subscribed to it the first day to kinda keep an eye out..

You know the up and down feelings, I've been experiencing that a lot.. For no reason really.

I get irritated really easy..

My husband told me last night that he's not even sure he knows me anymore. I told him lots of people (I'm a Gemini ) but I know I've been on edge and get angry or sad easy these days.

Oh Christmas??

This is my attitude the last two days out there shopping..

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

Laura I love that kitty pic and need to steal it. I am a Gemini too...not irritable but emotional. Actually my friend Mary also asked me if I could be gointhrough the change so I must be telegraphing my pissiness. I havnt had a period in 5 years...damn well better be done.

Steven is a sexist in many ways...but not a woman hater, there is a difference. He loves women and womanly things but surely sees us as a separate species....lol. maybe he is right, perhaps a superior race even.

[No game 14,436]

Oh Jane! The "change" oh maybe that's it??

I'm 47 but still have very heavy periods..

That is until this month. I started and two days later nothing. OMG THE CHANGE!! I'M OLD!

And maybe that's why I'm feeling off?

 

Oh, and Steven yes I don't think he's a misogynist.

Trust me I've run across one or two if those in my day.

Edited December 18, 2013 by laura-ven

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I went through menopause in my early 40s. I blame it on the stress of my sisters horrible illness and death... but i don't know.

I still think the reason I can be so emotional is because for so many years I buried my feelings in fat and food. I feel now like the deaf person that can finally hear...and it is sometimes just overwhelming. i am not a sad sack, most of the time I feel good - it is just shocking to me how I can be going along and then just... zing... I feel kinda low. It never lasts very long, but i have started to wonder if I am going crazy. I have stopped sharing this with my horse friends and others... they are questioning my sanity I think. I realize that people like me better as the upbeat cheerful Sheryl and that is me MOSTLY. I am learning to be a little more careful about who I reveal my whole self to... not everybody is ready for that I guess. One of the things I love about Steven is he seems to accept all aspects of me and in fact notices them before i think I am revealing them... but, that is the emotional intelligence that so few people have. Well, and it is easy for him, as a part - time friend, right? Low consequences, and besides he is crazier then I am.

The hand numbness is new... started about a week ago. I think that is what was so discouraging. I am also numb in the lower tummy, but that seems more expected to me, but I tell you, it feels weird.

I have been corresponding with sweetpea.... she too is happy with her results but has also found recovery to be rugged. She is way further out then I am and STILL has some issues. I know it is all normal, but I guess I was so optimistic and now very REALISTIC.

Florinda - GT - I think you should also consider Sweetpea's doctor. He is in TJ but seems like one of the good ones. AVOID anybody with the name Yanez, there are 3 of them, I think they are related and I think they all do sucky work but somehow people still go to them.

[No game 14,436]

I was saying that today.. Not burying my emotions in food (well except that binge last weekend) has left me kinda raw lately..

The holidays are just hard for me, I really wish they weren't. I'd like to work at looking at them differently, but boy that's hard to do somedays!

 

Winter.

It really is the perfect storm...

No sun, cold can equal the blues

Family and holiday expectation can equal the blues.

Food everywhere! Indulgence can equal the blues.

 

And that's for "regular" people!!

We have a few more components thrown into the mix..

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Oh oh, I'm a Gem too! Birds of a feather!  

Kris must have some idea how those photos look... bless her heart... that must be scary as hell! Im not sure I would have posted them in an open forum... then again as a warning to others! 

I think a little sadness might be expected after surgery.... even this far out.... things have changed in some ways and not in others that we might have wanted change...

Thank the gods that today is almost over... SO ,much food! I figured out my calories after lunch and I had already eaten 1200 calories! I bet I hit 1800 by bedtime! I might be able to do less, but I want to eat something good for me tonight even though  I have the option to not eat anything else at all. Maybe veggie soup..... I think I will fast until dinner tomorrow... the TWO parties.... yikes! I feel like Im just about as out of control as I could possibly be without actually being completely out of control! 

[No game 14,436]

Yay Gemini! I wonder if Chris is doing ok I've noticed she hasn't been back since that first day.. I went out shopping today and had a run in with a chocolate Santa... Damn holidays Oh well I fast again tomorrow. And I have a big all day party to go to Friday so I will be feeling you party food pain.

Edited December 19, 2013 by laura-ven

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I am a Leo, this means that I push myself and am harder on myself than anyone else, yet I live for praise, praise me and I stretch and purr under your hand, head butting your face . Of course, as a Leo, it would never occur to me that the praise is undeserved

Thank you for the compliments to my portrait, Sheila it is watercolor over pencil sketch. I will experiment this weekend with a new set of paints, acrylics in tubes, I'm nervous. Your art is beautiful, you could sell it! That textile, is that weaving? I bought a hand knotted carpet here, it is awe-inspiring.

It was Dee who was flooded? Dee, what's the status on that? Dee and Cathy I really empathize with your upheavals and uncertainties of living situations, hugs ladies.

Kim - Since you are the professional artiste of our group that's a pretty huge compliment, plus Michelangelo was one of my father's heros, along with Rodin and Picasso and Remington. It wasn't till I was finished that it occurred to me that my positioning and headwrap were reminiscent of Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring.

Laura - you make collages? pics, pics!

SherylJane - It DOES sound hormonal, not all hormones are linked back to our woman parts; your body has undergone a massive upheaval very recently and it is having to reshuffle everything, for example, many women who are peri or post discover they suddenly have their period again after getting sleeved, if only for a little while. You have admitted what a complete mindfluck this whole plastics journey has been so it stands to reason that your head chemicals are readjusting too. I am taking Sertraline (zoloft) to even out those troughs and peaks while I get a psychological grip on what has happened to me. At one point I was taking 2 pills a day, I am now down to 1.

I'm eating more now, purposefully, on Insanity days, and I am sick of it! Eating is such a chore!! I can't wait to fast on Sat/Sun. I ate 1200 cals yesterday!! I have gone over 1000 on purpose for 4 days now - and I am UP 2 pounds!!!!!!!!

BAH, HUMBUG!! :angry:

[Globetrotter 1,340]

PS - I ate 4 Oreos last night and the price was not worth the indulgence - I felt like I was crawling out of my skin, like I was on some psycho drug, it was miserable.

Edited December 19, 2013 by Globetrotter

[BrownDoesAll 409]

M2G I've added u to my mental list of amazing artist. Beautiful colors. I am in awe of people that make something from nothing. Artists and musicians are special. I think we all have God given talents not exactly sure what mine is I love to sing. I am no Aretha Franklin but it brings me joy but I can't draw a circle. SherylJane sorry Fraiser flaked out on you I was routing for u guys. That was kinda weird. Laura could be menopause or too much chocolate or just this season. Lots to do added to our normal preSsures would make anyone a bit nutty! Marched in the office yesterday again thinking fast day greeted with home made goodies of course lots of chocolate and chocolate dippped things like pretzels and strawberrys. Followed by catered Italian lunch. At least the sleeve still helps with Portion Control. salad , chicken parm, and garlic bread. I past on the cheesy carby Lasagne. No guilt. Just enjoyed lunch with my co workers.I have one more work day then I am off until after the New Year. ?? Who had the New Years wedding to attend? That sounds like fun. My hubby has a year end party tradition from his side of the family. Its called , and I am not kidding, the Feast of Saint Feed Your Fat Face! I will explain tomorrow. Have a great day ladies. It's all good

[M2G 1,836]

"It's all good!"...that is awesome.

LOL, Wanda again thanks for the smile. And just so you know I can't carry a tune to SAVE my life. My girls are always like "no mom, please don't sing" but I do anyway. And horribly. I know I can't really sing well, but I can't help myself and gotta sing along...

It's me who has the New YEars Eve wedding to attend. I really need to decide between 2 dresses, gotta snap some photos so you all can weigh in.

Thank you all for the compliments, you are all so wonderful. GT maybe that will be my "next" career, just going back to doing art...lol. F*ck the computer graphics. LOL. I have one more class to complete and then I will hold a "Certificate of Web Tools" (alongside my Bachelor of Visual Arts from oh, 19+ years ago) Nothing like hitting the job market against 20 year olds. Sigh.

Anyway, the Fiber piece was done for a fiber class in college and I wish I could remember the tool I used to make it. The piece is small, maybe 3x6 inches and we used a hand-held tool that we fed thread through and it "punched" it through fabric stretched over a frame. I drew out the concept with colored pencil, but then to be honest I was truly amazed that it turned out looking like my vision.

I thought I saw watercolor in your self-portrait, GT. I love the way you mixed your media. Watercolor is my all-time favorite medium. GT, what is it you want to go back to school for?

Today my oldest daughter will be 13. It's official...I will have a teenager. She is currently the sweetest kid imaginable....totally a heart of gold, A+ student, loves her life...I really hope that doesn't change. The teen years seem to be the worst of all ...parents are like gimme back my 3 year old who threw tantrums on the floor. Next few years will be challenging for sure. I'm off to make her breakfast!

[Globetrotter 1,340]

M2G - which hotel? The Brown Palace? I went to DU and my family came from Denver. I am hoping to go back to school for my PsyD to become a clinician.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I am a Leo, this means that I push myself and am harder on myself than anyone else, yet I live for praise, praise me and I stretch and purr under your hand, head butting your face .  Of course, as a Leo, it would never occur to me that the praise is undeserved

Leo moon here....

Thank you for the compliments to my portrait, Sheila it is watercolor over pencil sketch.  I will experiment this weekend with a new set of paints, acrylics in tubes, I'm nervous.  Your art is beautiful, you could sell it!  That textile, is that weaving?  I bought a hand knotted carpet here, it is awe-inspiring.

 

It was Dee who was flooded?  Dee, what's the status on that?  Dee and Cathy I really empathize with your upheavals and uncertainties of living situations, hugs ladies.

 

Kim - Since you are the professional artiste of our group that's a pretty huge compliment, plus Michelangelo was one of my father's heros, along with Rodin and Picasso and Remington.  It wasn't till I was finished that it occurred to me that my positioning and headwrap were reminiscent of Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring.

Vermeer, of course... that angle....

Laura - you make collages?  pics, pics!

 

SherylJane - It DOES sound hormonal, not all hormones are linked back to our woman parts; your body has undergone a massive upheaval very recently and it is having to reshuffle everything, for example, many women who are peri or post discover they suddenly have their period again after getting sleeved, if only for a little while. 

My doc said double up your birth control, Even though I had been in Menopause for over a year... What?!! People get pregnant after getting the sleeve,,, and the hormones that dump out of the fat or something.....

You have admitted what a complete mindfluck this whole plastics journey has been so it stands to reason that your head chemicals are readjusting too.  I am taking Sertraline (zoloft) to even out those troughs and peaks while I get a psychological grip on what has happened to me.  At one point I was taking 2 pills a day, I am now down to 1.

 

I'm eating more now, purposefully, on Insanity days, and I am sick of it!  Eating is such a chore!!  I can't wait to fast on Sat/Sun. I ate 1200 cals yesterday!!  I have gone over 1000 on purpose for 4 days now - and I am UP 2 pounds!!!!!!!!

 

BAH, HUMBUG!!   :angry:  

I have gained 4 1/2 as of  this morning! I hope Im enjoying all that sugar and fat! And more to come.

 

I have been noticing that I am missing reading some posts... the "my content" takes me to the first unread post in a thread... but sometimes, its not the first one... I missed about 8 of them the other day,,,,