I wrote this today after a weekend of hearing ridiculous comments from people who would say they are friends. Just wanted to post it here because I'm sure many of you can relate. Feel free to link someone to it if they're that "well meaning friend."

http://www.kerryfaler.com/2013/07/08/what-not-to-say-to-a-friend-who-has-had-weight-loss-surgery/

Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh, you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.

That is hilarious! I think it's blog-worthy!

Thanks for the chuckle and Happy Birthday!

I have lost 40 lbs in about 2 months, people are gradually starting to notice, and I decided from the start that I wanted to keep my surgery generally to myself. I am worried that soon I am going to have to deal with all that... thanks for sharing. I am obviously not alone in thinking that people can so obnoxious with how they talk to others.

OMG, the "I feel so bad eating in front of you" thing or giving me the frowny sad face drives me NUTS!

I have lost 40 lbs in about 2 months' date=' people are gradually starting to notice, and I decided from the start that I wanted to keep my surgery generally to myself. I am worried that soon I am going to have to deal with all that... thanks for sharing. I am obviously not alone in thinking that people can so obnoxious with how they talk to others.[/quote']

my friend who had surgery 2.5 years ago and has lost 150 pounds says, "why thank you for noticing how hard i am working at being healthy! i have changed everything in my life. its not easy!" and then she compliments the other person or starts talking about something else.

If i get a negative opinion from someone who disagrees with the surgery i simply state "i didn't ask for your permission or input on the matter" if they push the issue I tell them to go "F*ck themselves" and let that be the end of it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this. People who've never been seriously overweight (or underweight, or paraplegic, or victims of 3rd degree burns, or sufferers of a host of physical aberrations that make one hyper-sensitive about one's appearance) often have no tact in such matters. I would NEVER make a comment about another person's body. I might say, "That color is great on you!" or, "You seem tired today," (not you LOOK tired today) or "You have something green stuck in your teeth," but never a comment that insinuates I presume to understand or mirror another's self-image.

I just loved your blog!!! There used to be rules about making comments to people about personal body issues. Now it's just a free-for-all. Along with Money Management, I think we need etiquette classes. Whatever happened to tact and diplomacy. Our grandmothers had decorum - they had the good sense not to say whatever popped into their head.

You've obviously not met too many little old ladies from the South! Bless your heart!

or little old korean ladies either apparently!

Thanks everyone! I just got fed up with the comments. I got a "keep it up!" again today. I smiled and laughed afterward. People are clueless. I really couldn't believe no one had written on this subject before.

I just loved your blog!!! There used to be rules about making comments to people about personal body issues. Now it's just a free-for-all. Along with Money Management' date=' I think we need etiquette classes. Whatever happened to tact and diplomacy. Our grandmothers had decorum - they had the good sense not to say whatever popped into their head.[/quote']

I think my grandma missed those classes; she used to say 'you're getting fat". "You're getting fatter". "You're REALLY fat".

She was a lovely woman. We really miss her.

Excellent blog post.. but everyone please note: Serendipity Happens welcomes everyone to tell her how fabulous she looks.. as long as it's not from the Korean lady who came into my store the other day and told me "oooh, you look good now, not so fat like before.. before you was sooooooooooo fat." I kid you not.

Ha... This is something that one of my grandmas would have probably said.

I think my grandma missed those classes; she used to say 'you're getting fat". "You're getting fatter". "You're REALLY fat".

She was a lovely woman. We really miss her.

lol. myfather's mother was like this. she was born in austria, and was one of the most blunt and tactless women i ever met. but she was awesome too. we werent close, she and my dad fought a lot. but i would have liked to have gotten to know her better before she passed. she would tell me how wonderful my mom was and what a dope my dad was. very amusing.

Flippin awesome! Love the head transplant comment. Mind if I use that when I go back to work?????? Lol....

So funny that I sprayed water all over my computer while laughing out loud. Thanks for sharing.