My First Post (due to feeling very frustrated right now)

[timetogetreal 6]

I have been lurking and learning lots on this forum for the past few months and for the first time feel the need to post. (Sorry it's such a long first post)

I started my pre-op journey and clearances 6 months ago and had EVERYTHING completed and cleared until I went this past week for my psychological clearance. I hit a major road block that was totally unexpected. The only reason I saved this for last is because I had to pay $360 out of my pocket; since I have to see the one my surgeon requires and that's the only one they accept.

Spent an hour and a half filling out lots of questionaires and tests and when I finally met with the psychologist she referenced my notations about having a stressful and not very happy childhood. I DID tear up because I have always been a very emotional person and wear my emotions on my sleeves. I get teary when I hear sad stories on the news, etc.

By the end of this 30 minute interview with this psychologist she had determined that I must be depressed and was going to hold up my clearance until I either get some depression meds OR go see a psychologist and set up some counselling sessions.

#1 I am NOT depressed. My family members were all outraged when I told them what the outcome of this was since they all said........depressed you have never been. Have I ever been sad or felt a little low???? Of course, but I dare say not too many of us come out of this life without having those occasional feelings. Just amazes me that someone can come up with this requirement when it is not anything that applies to me.

I did try to find a psychologist that was covered by my Wellcare Advantage and the only one I could find had no openings for 6 weeks.

I can get into see my Primary Care Phys in two weeks and he DOES prescribe meds for deppression but I am afraid if I go into him and tell him the truth that I don't need or want to take those meds but I NEED a prescription to get a clearance then he will refuse to give me the RX. I would prefer to be honest with him and tell him what I am feeling, but, if he then says no, I will be in trouble time wise. I was counting on an April surgery date since I won't be able to get work leave after April till mid summer. And, by that time some of my 6 month clearances will have expired.

I'm just really dismayed that this is what is holding me up. Shoot, lots of us have not had picture perfect past experiences, but, it doesn't always mean we are all suffering from depression.

Thanks for any thoughts or advise.

(ps......it was stressed on all the forms I filled out for this psych visit to be totally honest.....I'm thinking now that was my biggest mistake) lol But, I do know that I answered honestly that I love my life now (not the being fat part) and my family and can't wait to have this surgery to improve my life and allow me to live longer.

[No game 14,436]

That is a tough situation! Sorry to hear that. I think that if you went to your primary and told him about it he could write you a prescription. But he probably won't if you tell him your not going to take them...

What about a really really low dose?

I don't know I'm just thinking "out loud" here...

[Hleeann 7]

This happened to me also and the psychologist was so wrong and rude about my tearing up, I ended up changing Bariatric centers. Surgery is next Thursday. Finally. Took me a year though to get here.

[timetogetreal 6]

Thanks for your thoughts and that is a good idea just asking my primary for a low dose of something. I could tell him that of course I feel not happy about my weights and give credit to the psych for that point. Then he might agree to that.

As far as finding another surgeon.......I was totally convinced and happy with my choice until a couple days ago. Just unexpected out of all the clearances I have been through and then to hit this roadblock.

And, yes, I'm afraid too that if I tell my PCP that I'm not going to take the meds then he won't give me the RX. So, I'll just tell him maybe she is right and I should try just a low dose. Thanks

[No game 14,436]

That's what I would do.. It doesn't have to be for long either...

And yes tell him that you are concerned about so many changes at once and would prefer to "start" with a really small dose.,

[timetogetreal 6]

I Called a friend who is also going to same place for the surgery and warned her what NOT to do when seeing the shrink. I told her she better be all happy, happy happy when she walks in the door. (Not that that is very realistic, however)

I think back now too how she asked me what I was looking forward to most after the surg and I told her first was helping to improve my health and live a longer and better life. AND, also to finally be able to go shopping for clothes and not dread it.

She then proceeded to lecture me on turning my food addiction into a shopping addiction. I said, I know how that does happen, BUT, I just want to buy some nice, pretty clothes finally.

Sheesh......I just wasn't winning with her at all lol

[No game 14,436]

Lol... Sounds like she was looking for trouble!!

I have my own therapist but had to see a certain one for this surgery to get clearance..

Well I kinda thought he was a quack and what would they really know after one visit!

[timetogetreal 6]

Yes, unfortunately I think she used every psychology 101 fact on me. I think if I don't feeI have a depression issue then the biggest truth would come from your close family members. My mom WAS truly depressed and in later life diagnosed as bi polar. As a child growing up, kids just don't understand that but when I became an adult I realized how sad her problems and life really was. Makes me sad and teary for her and I would have thought a psych would have understood that. One thing I do know and recognize is real depression and this psych totally did a quickie mis-diagnosis.

Unfortunately we have to jump through all these hoops and requirements to get to the better side. Just gotta keep on trying here and I guess I should feel grateful that she didn't require me to go to months of counseling b4 she finally approves me. If I can just get that one little valuable rx I will be good to go.

THEN I can get healthy AND go buy some pretty clothes. I just won't be asking her to go lunch and shop with me )

[No game 14,436]

Oh! And on a side note, it is not uncommon to experience a little depression here and there in the first month or two.

I find it really helps to know this! That way if it does happen you can recognize that it is a normal part of this process and be more prepared to handle it

[JennyBeth 127]

What I find to be so frustrating is that a person that has never met you and you sit down for an hour can give a diagnosis like that. That's BS! This whole process is emotional even for someone that doesn't normally wear their emotions on their sleeve (like me). Trust me, I almost verbally assaulted an ultrasound tech today which is not in my character, but this whole hoop-jumping process has gotten me slightly on edge! (Laughing but TOTALLY serious!) I would honestly go for a second psych eval with someone else.

Why am I depressed? Duh! Because I'm fat, you idiot! And who doesn't grow up with some form of emotional issues nowadays? That's no reason to make someone start to take anti-depressants unless YOU feel you need them! What a pill-pusher! I do agree that everyone pursuing WLS would benefit from counseling to get to the root of why we overeat, however other than that I wouldn't take one word of what she said to heart. Does she deal with bariatric patients? The person who did my psych eval did and I think that is helpful.

[timetogetreal 6]

Yes, she definitely does deal with All the bariatric patients for this surgeon; you just totally hit the nail on the head when u said it's bs that someone who meets with u for a short time could label that on you. If I ever felt like I was really a depressed person I would be the first to admit I needed help with that and reached out for that help.

And so true that most of us who overeat and allow ourselves to become addicted to way too much food aren't what I would call a "normal" person. We obviously each have our own issues. But, that doesn't make everyone a candidate for meds

Some sadness and low times are just part of life.

[melissa130 135]

Oh that is terrible. I feel bad for ya. You have to get a psych eval from another professional. Seriously. It sounds like you got hooked up with the wrong person. A lot of those folks have issues themselves and don't always know what they are talking about. You are absolutely entitled to a second opinion. And NOBODY can decide if you need to be on an anti-depressant after one visit. Ridiculous. Keep looking. My surgery was 7 months after I had hoped- well worth the wait. Good luck dear.

[JuliannaJ 83]

What I like is that she is a psychologist telling you that you need a psychologist to prescribe meds...if she felt that strongly about it, why didn't SHE prescribe them...at least your initial dose.

Maybe your primary can overrule her since your primary may know you better. My primary is pretty upfront and I can go in and ask for stupid things like a note for a "mental health day" and get it if I need it.

Maybe start with your primary and see where to go from there...you primary will have to clear you for surgery so maybe they will write you a note saying if signs and symptoms of depression occur, they will prescribe you something but for now, you have no signs or symptoms.

[timetogetreal 6]

I didn't mean to hit send yet.....

It has been such a long and grueling 6 1/2 months and I was soooooo looking forward to this appt finishing up all my requirements.

I guess she felt I needed some more hoops. And the really strange thing is if she REALLY felt I was not a good candidate mentally then she should have made sure I did some actal time getting help and proving it to her. The way she set it up was.....

Either get a rx for meds or just see a psych and set up some counseling sessions. And just have tha verification faxed to her. Which means I can get a RX and throw them away or wait 5 weeks to just go see a psych once, set up appointments and cancel them after I have the surg. Not a very good safety net for someone who REALLY was depressed and needed help. Just a big headache and waste of time for me at this point.

She did ask me if I ever have had any counselling and I told her yrs ago I went to OA and I liked that. (course it obviously didn't help me much). But, I'm not opposed to anything that would help me mentally figure out why I have over eaten, but, right now it's just making me frustrated.

It was funny cuz one thing she asked me was....what do u think would happen IF u weren't approved for the surgery. I said, I think it would probably kill me. And she jumped on me and said, you mean u would commit suicide and I said

Noooooooooo never that. I mean that I had kidney cancer in 2006 and had a kidney removed and then last august was diagnosed with diabetes. One kidney and diabetes could kill me and that I truly believe.

I want that surgery really really bad. I want that little bitty tummy so I can stop shoveling an unreasonable amount of food into my body.

[timetogetreal 6]

What I like is that she is a psychologist telling you that you need a psychologist to prescribe meds...if she felt that strongly about it, why didn't SHE prescribe them...at least your initial dose.

Maybe your primary can overrule her since your primary may know you better. My primary is pretty upfront and I can go in and ask for stupid things like a note for a "mental health day" and get it if I need it.

Maybe start with your primary and see where to go from there...you primary will have to clear you for surgery so maybe they will write you a note saying if signs and symptoms of depression occur, they will prescribe you something but for now, you have no signs or symptoms.

Well one thing I learned in the last day is that I think only a psychiatrist can write Rx. And my primary dr I think is going to be ticked off about this requirement and likely would try to oppose it. What worries me is I don't really think he would b able to override her decision with the surgeon. And then if I don't get that RX from him on march 1st THEN I would have to wait for appointment with the psychology group. Maybe I better make that 5 week out appt on Monday as a back up, but, then my April surgery date is out the window. Grrrrrrrrrr. Total frustration!!!