I had not realized that I was crying out inside; to God, the universe, or anyone that would listen… but I was quickly becoming tired of living in my uncooperative body. I was fat, very much so, but my only comorbidity was pain. Bone deep and getting worse. My life was quickly contracting such that I didn’t go out for fear of ridicule and unforeseen challenges… like arms on chairs and seatbelts that would not reach. I had to strategize a trip to the grocery store around my pain threshold. On November 9, 2012 the final straw came. It does not matter what it was. It happened. God had heard the crying I didn’t realize I was pouring out and a solution was presented. On Sunday, November 11, my mind was all but made up that I would undergo the VSG procedure in order to provide my body with a powerful tool to reshape my life.

With many hours online and a face-to-face interview with a former patient of his, I selected surgeon Dr. Jaime Ricardo Ramos Kelly of Tijuana to perform my VSG. Much has been noted on the VerticalSleeveTalk boards about recent changes with Dr. Kelly’s staff and I was in the thick of the transition. I started out working with Omar who left the practice (friendly separation), then came Alina who was lovely but learned quickly her heart was elsewhere, and finally working with Lora Lee, an American they hired who was also a recent Dr. Kelly VSG patient. I had moments of paperwork confusion through this, but NEVER concern for my surgeon or what I would experience once there. And Lora Lee worked HARD in the days before my surgery to be sure I was no longer confused and on the “right page”. Enough about that!

With the decision made that Dr. Kelly was the surgeon for me, paperwork began. I weighed in and learned that my weight, the highest I’d ever seen it, was 529lbs. I worried this would preclude me from surgery but, again, Dr. Kelly has experience working with very high BMI patients and he was confident that with his experience and my dedication this would be a good match. We settled that I’d be operated on Saturday, February 2, 2013. I had all the “normal” up and down emotions… I’d done my research and the risks scared (still scare) the heck out of me, then the moments when I allow myself to dream of the moment when I can shop without being stared at, with less (or no) pain made me excited and happy. At the heart of it, I had PEACE that this was the right decision and God-led. I was scared of the post-op pain and drains and how it would be to not really eat for days… But I knew that I had loved ones to hold me up and encourage me, and really… would the post-op pain really be worse that I was living with right then? Onward!

LoraLee that is a GREAT point about doctor LOL. I am glad to know that you're dealing we'll, it gives me hope! I have a great counselor too, so seeing her will help with this frustration. food was nothing to me but an activity and a protector... A way to ignore the real world. That buffer is gone and though I have a great support system, I do feel raw.

Eyes on the prize.

Amber - your story is WONDERFUL! Especially the emotions you feel as you have surgery and recover. The same thoughts racing through my head, but you state them so well. Specifically, having the feeling of fullness and control...it is powerful to feel that control. I am excited to follow your posts as you lose the weight! All the best! Shelley

Congratulations on your journey! The surgery is only one aspect and it seems you're ackeling the rest. Blessings to you, a bug virtual hug and may the rest of yor journey be as sweet!

Thank you for the great feedback and support everyone!

What a great account of your journey. It makes me feel even more secure and happy with my decision to go with Dr Kelly. 8 and a half days to go!!

Salsha, I look forward to hearing your story too!

Amber, wow, I absolutely loved reading all about your experience. And LoraLee I get what you are saying about the emotional pain of realizing there are people who don't take the time to look within and who have to just make comments (even people who love us) trying to be helpful. I went through most of my life with a great figure and a horrible self-esteem. And now, as a heavy person for the past four years (esp. the last two) I have realized that I'm actually more aware of my strengths and am okay with the person God made me...but others don't feel 'okay' about it. It does bother me. I do question late at night if I'm doing this for my health (which I do think I am) long term, and to be a more active participant in my family and life, or if I'm doing this so that I don't have to make apologies for my appearance anymore. I think its both but I hope it won't make me bitter. I also hope my teenage daughter won't come away from this whole experience thinking her appearance is more important than her heart, her brain, her personality, and her spirit.

Amber I am so pleased to have heard you had a good experience and will take your advice about the wheelchair on the way home as well as the heat pack. I am really hoping I don't have a drain, I've had plenty of surgery but never a drain... and I hope to use the heat pack to perk up my veins too! This site has been such a Godsend and you are one of the reasons. I'm going to have surgery with Dr. Kelly on the 4th and I feel ready.

Amber - a question - how did your back feel? Did you find being on your side more comfortable? I have pain as well and I am curious about your 'regular' pains. What about heartburn/GERD? And, did you wear compression socks on your flight?

I think I start on my pre-op diet Monday - any tips?

Thanks again

Hey Leo... Funny enough, I have had terrible back pain most of my life (weight and genetics)...I was loathe to give up my ibuprofen. However, I highly recommend a product called BioFreeze that many many chiropractors sell. Also, the hospital bed was really very comfortable and adjustable... I was great the whole time. Even the hotel bed was a good support level, not too hard or soft.

As for side sleeping, I will sleep on the side that did not have the drain, sometimes it feels good to curl up around myself. I will admit to being chicken to try it on the drain side, but I think it's psychological more than anything.

I only ever had heartburn when I was really binging, so between my new tiny tummy and the PPI Dr. Kelly has me on it is a non-issue. I did NOT wear or have compression socks, I didn't really think about it and did not have any ill affects. I did do a fair bit of muscle exercises- isometrics- just to be safe though.

Don't fear the drain, remember my reaction was largely psychological, still is. It gets the nasties out of you and helps recovery. I am just a ninny!

As for the pre-op diet, what helped me was to remember that it was temporary, turn off the television food porn (cooking channel, commercials, etc), and use a site like MyFitnessPal to track your food. I used prepared meals, like LeanCuisine to help cut down portions and calories. It was an "eyes on the prize" process.

I hope this helps!

Can I ask how your flying experience was and who you flew with? I am starting out at the same weight as you and I am worried sick about the airplane nothing else really just the dang plane, I am scared I won't fit down the passage way between the rows of seats, I know I will have to pay for two seats for me but yeah.

Can I ask how your flying experience was and who you flew with? I am starting out at the same weight as you and I am worried sick about the airplane nothing else really just the dang plane, I am scared I won't fit down the passage way between the rows of seats, I know I will have to pay for two seats for me but yeah.

I flew with Alaska. Between two seats for me and one for my companion, we had a row to ourselves- i sat in the window seat each time. We made sure to use the "if you are traveling with children or need assistance" pre-boarding time so I did not have to deal with others and them with me. Also allowed me more privacy to request a seatbelt extender. I know how you feel about moving around the plane, I think I only had to turn my hips a little to walk as freely as anyone else, and if you pre-board there is less to worry about. We also elected to get off last for the same reasons.

Another issue is the bathroom on board. I knew I did not even want to try it. There was some real strategizing there, like backing off on my Water the night before and not having broth after noon the day before coming home. Maybe not the healthiest choices, but they made it psychologically easier to fly. You'll do fine!

Thank you so so so much you have eased my fears I have the same one about the bathroom to so I have just been thinking I will use it before I board and then hold it until I land should I need to go but yes slowing down on the liquid a while before hand would be smart to I hadn't thought of that. Thanks SO MUCH! I just want to get there and get home with as less eyes on me as possible, I wish I had a harry potter invisible cape hahaha

Oh yes, I know about wanting to be invisible. I think I imagined every person in the waiting area eyeballing me to wonder if they would "have to" sit next to me. Irrational for sure, but understandable.

I also need to find a direct flight down there from Utah I don't want to deal with changing flights half way. Thanks again for your help.

How is the Head Hunger going? I think I'll be fine in the daytime, its after 9pm for me, I am hoping to just start going to bed alot earlier to try and cope with that for now. I also thought about hypnosis!

I'm wondering what week two post op is like because I'll be home by then and I have six children aged 4-16 (I am a foster parent) who will probably expect me to be right back in the swing of things when I get home.

Amber---

I laughed and cried through your entire story! More than your amazing talent for writing, I felt like I was there with you - that I've known you for years. THANK YOU for that!! Nothing about my trip in 8 days will be the same; doctor, hospital, starting weight, etc, yet I feel more relaxed having read your account. Wishing you the very BEST, I look forward to reading more of your progress... Jackie