I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Hi everyone,

I am 21 from the UK and I am single. I have stopped looking and started to focus all the attention on me!! I'm being banded on 29th Jan xx

Hey Aimee! Another Boston girl! Good luck with your banding. It has been a great experience for me, even though I'm at a point where I have to work really hard if I want to lose weight. But even having lost 60 lbs makes me feel like i have a new life.

As far as your man, I would say if things are going well you should probably tell him about the surgery. Some people recover quickly from it, personally it took me about a week. If you're like me, you probably won't be up for doing much for that first week, and you'll be pretty miserable as you "detox" from food. lol. But more than that, I think it's best to be open and honest because he should be there to support you. I agree that it is nice to find a guy that you know likes you when you're bigger. That was always a worry of mine, and I would worry about how a guy would react when I told him I had weight loss surgery. I'm happy to say that I never once had a bad reaction, and that the guy I am dating now has not even once asked how much weight I have lost because it doesn't matter to him in the least.

As far as sex goes, I was completely single when I had surgery so I couldn't give you any factual information. lol. But I would say you'll be able to do the deed that first week, but probably not at the same intensity. You'll be sore for a while so as long as you nurse that, you'll be fine to have some fun. Good luck with the new guy - I hope it works out! :smile:

Hi Chrispygal. I was excited to see that someone started a thread like this. I am 36, single, living North of Boston. I am scheduled to be banded on Feb. 11. I just started dating a guy and have been contemplating telling him or not. I don't really know what to say when I am in the hospital and out of commission for a a week or two. It's kindof a weird subject to just bring up. It's nice to know that he likes me at the weight I'm at now and imagine it will be even better when I start losing weight and feeling better about myself. Also, what about having sex after the band? How soon after can you? Can anyone give some info about that? just curious!:eyebrows:

I'm Ashley. I am 19 years old. Single. Lol I was banded on Dec 21, 2007! I am from Northeast Alabama. I've never had low self-esteem due to my weight however I did have issues with high blood pressure and with a slue of heart diease in my family I made the choice to better my life!! You can't deal with non supportive people that's why if people don't accept the fact that I have done this I can't associate myself with them.

I'm "bigbaby". 38 year old African American Woman. I've NEVER and I repeat NEVER had self-esteem issues. I was a cute "big" girl and I'll be a "cute" little girl...

Are there any African American banded men in the DFW area? I would love to talk.

We need to do what we can to keep this thread front and center.

I love this thread. I love to hear how everyone is doing.

Our Chrispy who started this thread has a steady boyfriend right now!

I had a date with someone from online. We had been emailing

for a couple of weeks. The next day after we met, I got an

email saying he didn't feel any chemistry. I didn't either, but I

was willing to see him a couple more times to see if anything could develop.

What do you guys think? Does there have to be chemistry the moment you meet, or can attraction grow within a few dates?

OK, here's one.......I have a date of sorts next week. I was thinking that I would be 175 by now but AM NOT...I don't want to go but I have talked to this person on and off for a long time. What should I do?

pIGS---GO ON THE DATE!!!! You are who you are and a good time and free dinner is just that!!!

If you never see each other again, you've had a night out instead of sitting at home.

A thinnerDenise--I like chemistry the first time but am willing to go out with the guy again. Mostly just so that I can say I've been on a date and had free dinner....is that cheesy?

and free dinner is just that!!!

<snip>

am willing to go out with the guy again. Mostly just so that I can say I've been on a date and had free dinner....is that cheesy?

Oh, I HATE this attitude. Leeches, all of y'all. If you don't like a guy, have the dignity to say so and leave his wallet alone!

Oh, I HATE this attitude. Leeches, all of y'all. If you don't like a guy, have the dignity to say so and leave his wallet alone!

Now I do agree that it's bad to just go out with someone a second time to just use them for their pocket book. Your also wasting yours and your dates valuable time. But to just go out on a date to meet someone and it doesn't work out I think it's okay to say..hey I got a free meal at least. You know why? Cause of all the other hell in life we women have to go through that you men will never ever have to experience. So there..LOL.

You're right Dibaby.

Ok, but I do like him and I am afraid that if I am not thinner when we meet that it will have been different if I were thinner, ya know? Now, what do you think?

Ok, but I do like him and I am afraid that if I am not thinner when we meet that it will have been different if I were thinner, ya know? Now, what do you think?

Personally I would be honest about him about your weight before you go. Nothing is worse then seeing a disappointed face at a first date. This way again if he's that shallow then you haven't wasted your time. I know its hard but you should do it. Also tell him what your doing now so that he knows that your in a "transformation" stage. That works well for me.

Pigsrflyin, you NEED to go on this date. If he's the right guy he will like you for you. I think sometimes we're too hard on ourselves and think that because we're not "thin" yet, someone can't be attracted to us. That's not true. Know that you're a prize and that he'd be lucky to have you. If you meet and there's chemistry - great. If you meet and there's not, just remember that it has nothing to do with you. Chemistry is funny like that. Just go out and have FUN!!

any single guys out there from alabama?? lol just curious haha

Yes, he knows that I had this surg and that I am overweight, he doesn't know how much. And......I guess crisp is right! If he likes me, Ok and if not, OK. My life will not change!

Thx Guys!

Crisp--All is well there???? =)