I thought it might be a good idea to have a thread where we could discuss the different challenges/issues we face as being single and banded.

I'll start with introducing myself. My name is Chris, I am 32 and live in a suburb of Boston. About a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship and have just casually dated (online dating) since then. I have decided to take a break from dating for a bit, so I can focus on myself and adjust to living life as a bandster. (I was just banded on 10/2). One of my biggest concerns when I start dating again is if/when to tell that I am banded. It's not that I don't want to tell people, it's just that my idea of great dinner conversation does not include discussing my weight. Overall I would say that I have a great life. I have a good job, a very supportive family, and lots of friends. I am happy to be taking control over my weight and issues with food, and am excited at the prospect of my future as a not-so-fat woman.

I look forward to meeting more single bandsters and hope this thread takes off!

Chris :cocktail:

Thanks BigBaby, I think I lost the stiches last time I got sick. I was overcome with some violent nausea.

Hey Denise, my GF isn't quite the go-getter that I am, but then again who the heck is? Sometimes I border on insanity. I am glad I kept the band too and now I have renewed hope that I will have some assistance from it to reach my goal weight. I can't believe I have been able to stay so close to goal with all the fills and un-fills, but here I am plugging away!

Thanks again for the well-wishes, JC

Wow Denise, I was just proof reading (yes, after I hit the post button) and noticed how very close you are to your goal! Way to Go!!!!!!!!

JC

Hi! Another single bandster here! I am 39 and I live in Sugar Land, TX (suburb of Houston). I am one of those that will not date until I lose some weight. I am not comfortable in my own skin and until I get past that I am just wasting my time.

I am so glad that I found this thread.

i think for me the hardest part about being single with the band is the dating aspect. i date, therefore i go to dinner , movie etc.... i try to do more things like hiking and outdoor activities on dates. but guys always want to go out to eat. but i have a hard time to eat much or many times excuse my self to go to ladies room and pb. yuck. so i try to avoid dinner dates. but i like going to dinner, its so relaxing..... anyone else have that trouble

yea, If a guy asks me to dinner I always suggest Chinese. Then I order a big bowl of egg flower soup. I say I had a late lunch.

I hate eating around people who don't know. It's stressful. But I am not about to tell anyone else that doesn't know. If I ever found a long term relationship, I would eventually tell him.

Thanks JC! I have a feeling it's going to be really hard to lose this last 10. It's okay though. I am so much happier at the weight I am now.

I hope I can get to that goal, but sometimes it feels like it will never happen. As long as I am not gaining, I am thrilled.

can you scuba dive with the band. I have not had the surgery but I'm on the path to find out if its right for me. I scuba dive lot and its my passion i really dont want to give it up. So if anyone knows anything pls share the info I could use it . thanks:smile:

trmaley, I have been able to SCUBA dive. I have found through experiance that if you want to be comfortable eat well in advance or use a liquid meal replacement like slimfast or a protein shake.

trmaley, I have been able to SCUBA dive. I have found through experiance that if you want to be comfortable eat well in advance or use a liquid meal replacement like slimfast or a protein shake.

Good to know, SCUBA lessons are on my list for 08.

Anyone done any climbing by chance? I had a buddy just invite me to climb Kilimanjaro in 09. Apparently it's more of a vertical hike than a true climb, but I truly fear the band at 19,000 unpressurized feet -- especially in Tanzania.

Manatee, you have knocked off a lot of weight! Congratulations.I would ask your doctor about the climbing. One thing that does come to mind is, you could have the band deflated for the trip.

Hi! Another single bandster here! I am 39 and I live in Sugar Land, TX (suburb of Houston). I am one of those that will not date until I lose some weight. I am not comfortable in my own skin and until I get past that I am just wasting my time.

I am so glad that I found this thread.

Hi Jill, I'm with you. I've been struggling with low self-esteem for many years. Going to my LB support group meetings has helped. I'm also working hard on changing my thoughts to positive thoughts! God knows I've perfected being negative. I have to admit, I'm seeing some improvement. I just get disgusted sometimes when I look at myself in my birthday suit. Of course, everyone says that when I meet the right person, he'll love me for me and he won't carry about the droopy boobs! :hurray: All the words of encouragement in the world can't fix how we perceive ourselves, so we need to work at it.

TO ANYONE - Regarding telling people about your lap-band, what's so bad about this? I often wonder if I should tell someone, and if so, on which date? Some say that it's no one's business. Not sure how I feel about it.

~Anne

So the ex-wife out of the blue invites me to lunch yesterday 'to catch up.'

Ok, sure, why not?

Turns out she wants to tell me she's been dating a guy and it's getting serious. She just wanted me to know in case I saw them out and about.

What the hell am I supposed to do with this information? I really don't want to know at all, especially given some of the reasons for our split. I know we're supposed to be "friends", but it was very tough to sit there and pretend like I was happy for her. Am I supposed to go to a wedding next?

Bleah. I spent last night drinking, and (as usual when I REALLY drink) woke up at 5 AM with a clear head and no memory.

I really hate being alone :hurray:

Manatee,

Oh man, that's rough. I realize you had no idea that this would happen, but were you hoping for a positive outcome?, or just thought you were spending time with a friend and didn't think anything of getting together? I'm sorry your hurting. I don't think you should attend the wedding unless you get involved with someone. And, it sounds like you should stay away from her for your own well-being.

Congratulations on your weight loss success! Does drinking affect the band at all?

I'm crazy about South Park. How did you get that image for your profile?

Hang in there!

Anne

checking in!

Jill--That is the same way I feel! No date till I am at least 168! lol

Jc--Congrats on everything! It sounds like your tummy will be back in action quicker than you know!

Manatee-I have no clue as to why the ex would want to meet with you if you guys don't have kids , unless, she heard something that she wanted to "check out." Isn't a divorce c'est la vie if kids aren't involved. Sounds pretty fishy to me.

Maley-I ,too, am a scuba person but haven't tried since being banded.

Nothing new with me other than finally getting off of my frickin plateau! and this fill is pretty tight. After a few bites its pressure! YAY!

PigsR, Did you ever go on that date you were thinking about but worrying about losing 20 lbs first? I have been wondering about that, and how it went if you did. How did you manage to break your plateau? I have been stuck on one too!

Manatee,

I don't know why your ex felt the need to see you to tell you this. This could have been done in an email, if she felt you really needed to know. Maybe she heard you're looking smokin hot and she wanted to see for herself!