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A thread for Single Bandsters



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LOLL..it wasn't that bad! Thanks for making me laugh though :D

Well, just because he turned out to be a post-op transsexual with paranoid schizophrenia doesn't make him abnormal biggrin1.gif Hell, if you met online, that makes him dead normal :heh:

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Dibaby, hold out for what you want - you will find it. For years all I kept saying was that all I wanted was a nice, normal guy who knew how to treat me right. I didn't think I'd ever find it and I kept making "exceptions" with the guys I dated. I stopped that, and decided I was better off alone than compromising (which is different than being understanding - we all have some baggage and you know what you can and cannot live with). I dated a lot of men, but have FINALLY found the most amazing guy who treats me like a queen. It was well worth the wait. So while I agree with Manatee that there are a lot of crazies online, there are also some normal ones. Hold out for one if that's what you want.

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have FINALLY found the most amazing guy who treats me like a queen.

Just curious how & when you handled the 'I've been banded' conversation?

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I still haven't gotten to meet anyone that I have been writing to on the different online sites.

I was emailing back and forth on E Harmony. They make you answer

questions back and forth that they come up with. Eventually, you get to open communication. Once again, went I sent my picture,

communication stopped. This time I called him on it. I said that

I thought the E Harmony process matched people according to their personalities and that you can't really tell completely from a picture if you are going to "click' with someone. I asked him to have enough integrity to answer rather than just not answer this email. We shall see what happens.

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Dibaby, hold out for what you want - you will find it. For years all I kept saying was that all I wanted was a nice, normal guy who knew how to treat me right. I didn't think I'd ever find it and I kept making "exceptions" with the guys I dated. I stopped that, and decided I was better off alone than compromising (which is different than being understanding - we all have some baggage and you know what you can and cannot live with). I dated a lot of men, but have FINALLY found the most amazing guy who treats me like a queen. It was well worth the wait. So while I agree with Manatee that there are a lot of crazies online, there are also some normal ones. Hold out for one if that's what you want.

Thanks so much for this advice. I definitely feel this way too. I just had such hope..ugh. I think I'll stop dating for awhile till the new year and regather. I'm on a new nutritional plan anyways that I wanted to focus on. Besides alone for xmas isn't so bad..lol less stress in many ways.

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So I was online and out of nowhere this guy that I had met 4 years ago from AOL messages me and asks how I'm doing. I'm in complete shock. We kind of stopped talking back then just because we were both not ready for anything serious and we've both agreed that we've grown up a lot since then. We talked on the phone for over an hour and he asks me to meet him for lunch. I'm in complete shock but decide to go for it. It wasn't as if I had never met him. We went to lunch this past Sunday and hit it off in an instant all over again. He treats me with such respect and honesty and I've been in need of a companion as of late because it has gotten so lonely for me. We ended up hanging out again last night with another couple and had a few drinks and I couldn't be happier that he has shown up in my life again. I guess the saying is true, "Don't look for someone because it will come when you least expect it" :D

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Yea, people keep telling me that someone will come along when I least expect it. I have given up on believing that though.

I feel like I am going to be alone the rest of my life sometimes.

Right now I am really hating men.

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Well I'm back to the officially being single thing. The Nate thing didn't work out..."He Just Wasn't That Into Me!" I'm glad I can finally admit that....and not feel so shitty about it! After reading that book, I've learned that if a guy isn't going to dig me....then it's his loss! :D

I tried the Eharmony thing...and started talking to this amazing guy. We now are talking on the phone daily, with emails as well. He lives 2 hours away...so who knows where this will go! :eek:

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Hi everyone..just found this thread..totally nice!

My names Tiffaney- Im 22 and go to school...about to graduate. I consider myself to be smart and not bad looking- I prefer the saying"not bad for what Im working with"- I am single-duh!- and have never really dated a guy before. I have a hard time letting peple get close to me. Its a trust issue. I flirt alot, but have a hard time taking that next step, and when he takes it for me, I have the tendancy to freeze.

Ive had a crush on this guy for about a year now, but I only get to see him for 4-5 monthsout of the year, because he works out of the country. We recently started-not to get too personal here- messing around but when I went to drop him off at the airport, and I wont see him till Feb or March- I gave him a casual kiss on the cheek and a tight hug...I felt like doing a scene from a movie..tear, lips locked for an unmentionable amount of time..tearful promises of love letters..but instead look what I did! When I turned back he had this funny look on his face, like he wasnt expecting that...crap..yet once more I push away someone! Hes very athletic andI havent mentioned my band, although my family has mentioned my surgery around him, hes never asked...not sure if I want to tell him when I see him next..assuming he wants to see me, who knows after the way I acted..hmm maybe being a spinster wont be too bad.. I could get a couple more cats..and be the skinny lady with all the animals! haha

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Just curious how & when you handled the 'I've been banded' conversation?

This was always a tough one for me Manatee. I never wanted to just artifically bring it up and say, "hey guess what?". In this instance he asked me to be exclusive and I said before we agreed to that there was something I should probably tell him. So I told him, and he literally said, that's it? We hadn't messed around before this point so he had never seen my scars. It has not been an issue for him in the least and, I think, it won't be with the right person, although none of the guys I've dated since being banded have had an issue with it either.

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Well I'm back to the officially being single thing. The Nate thing didn't work out..."He Just Wasn't That Into Me!" I'm glad I can finally admit that....and not feel so shitty about it! After reading that book, I've learned that if a guy isn't going to dig me....then it's his loss! :)

I tried the Eharmony thing...and started talking to this amazing guy. We now are talking on the phone daily, with emails as well. He lives 2 hours away...so who knows where this will go! :)

That book is so amazing and I totally live by it to this day. It all makes sense :)

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Yea, people keep telling me that someone will come along when I least expect it. I have given up on believing that though.

I feel like I am going to be alone the rest of my life sometimes.

Right now I am really hating men.

I was in a slump too. Just thinking that there was nobody else out there after my ex boyfriend. I hope everything works out for you. If you think about it...life is so much more simple when you're single.

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Yea, people keep telling me that someone will come along when I least expect it. I have given up on believing that though.

I feel like I am going to be alone the rest of my life sometimes.

Right now I am really hating men.

I feel like that too. Like maybe Im supposed to be alone..I mean whay kind of crazy person would actually like me. Men to me are all pretty much bastards..you get your hopes up, and get crushed...Seriously, it would be nice to have someone to kiss under the mistletoe this year..for ONCE! but its not gonna happen...maybe next year

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I feel like that too. Like maybe Im supposed to be alone..I mean whay kind of crazy person would actually like me. Men to me are all pretty much bastards..you get your hopes up, and get crushed...Seriously, it would be nice to have someone to kiss under the mistletoe this year..for ONCE! but its not gonna happen...maybe next year

I am a true believer that everyone has a soul mate out there. I think it just takes a lot of patience and having confidence. I've never had a boyfriend for Christmas. It would be nice to have one this year.

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    • LeighaTR

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      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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