Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

A thread for Single Bandsters



Recommended Posts

I am single, have been for a while, Ive always had low self esteem and confidence, however thats just starting to change!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi everyone,

I am 21 from the UK and I am single. I have stopped looking and started to focus all the attention on me!! I'm being banded on 29th Jan xx

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey Aimee! Another Boston girl! Good luck with your banding. It has been a great experience for me, even though I'm at a point where I have to work really hard if I want to lose weight. But even having lost 60 lbs makes me feel like i have a new life.

As far as your man, I would say if things are going well you should probably tell him about the surgery. Some people recover quickly from it, personally it took me about a week. If you're like me, you probably won't be up for doing much for that first week, and you'll be pretty miserable as you "detox" from food. lol. But more than that, I think it's best to be open and honest because he should be there to support you. I agree that it is nice to find a guy that you know likes you when you're bigger. That was always a worry of mine, and I would worry about how a guy would react when I told him I had weight loss surgery. I'm happy to say that I never once had a bad reaction, and that the guy I am dating now has not even once asked how much weight I have lost because it doesn't matter to him in the least.

As far as sex goes, I was completely single when I had surgery so I couldn't give you any factual information. lol. But I would say you'll be able to do the deed that first week, but probably not at the same intensity. You'll be sore for a while so as long as you nurse that, you'll be fine to have some fun. Good luck with the new guy - I hope it works out! :smile:

Hi Chrispygal. I was excited to see that someone started a thread like this. I am 36, single, living North of Boston. I am scheduled to be banded on Feb. 11. I just started dating a guy and have been contemplating telling him or not. I don't really know what to say when I am in the hospital and out of commission for a a week or two. It's kindof a weird subject to just bring up. It's nice to know that he likes me at the weight I'm at now and imagine it will be even better when I start losing weight and feeling better about myself. Also, what about having sex after the band? How soon after can you? Can anyone give some info about that? just curious!:eyebrows:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm Ashley. I am 19 years old. Single. Lol I was banded on Dec 21, 2007! I am from Northeast Alabama. I've never had low self-esteem due to my weight however I did have issues with high blood pressure and with a slue of heart diease in my family I made the choice to better my life!! You can't deal with non supportive people that's why if people don't accept the fact that I have done this I can't associate myself with them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm "bigbaby". 38 year old African American Woman. I've NEVER and I repeat NEVER had self-esteem issues. I was a cute "big" girl and I'll be a "cute" little girl...

Are there any African American banded men in the DFW area? I would love to talk.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We need to do what we can to keep this thread front and center.

I love this thread. I love to hear how everyone is doing.

Our Chrispy who started this thread has a steady boyfriend right now!

I had a date with someone from online. We had been emailing

for a couple of weeks. The next day after we met, I got an

email saying he didn't feel any chemistry. I didn't either, but I

was willing to see him a couple more times to see if anything could develop.

What do you guys think? Does there have to be chemistry the moment you meet, or can attraction grow within a few dates?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, here's one.......I have a date of sorts next week. I was thinking that I would be 175 by now but AM NOT...I don't want to go but I have talked to this person on and off for a long time. What should I do?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

pIGS---GO ON THE DATE!!!! You are who you are and a good time and free dinner is just that!!!

If you never see each other again, you've had a night out instead of sitting at home.

A thinnerDenise--I like chemistry the first time but am willing to go out with the guy again. Mostly just so that I can say I've been on a date and had free dinner....is that cheesy?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

and free dinner is just that!!!

<snip>

am willing to go out with the guy again. Mostly just so that I can say I've been on a date and had free dinner.< /strong>...is that cheesy?

Oh, I HATE this attitude. Leeches, all of y'all. If you don't like a guy, have the dignity to say so and leave his wallet alone!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, I HATE this attitude. Leeches, all of y'all. If you don't like a guy, have the dignity to say so and leave his wallet alone!

Now I do agree that it's bad to just go out with someone a second time to just use them for their pocket book. Your also wasting yours and your dates valuable time. But to just go out on a date to meet someone and it doesn't work out I think it's okay to say..hey I got a free meal at least. You know why? Cause of all the other hell in life we women have to go through that you men will never ever have to experience. So there..LOL.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, but I do like him and I am afraid that if I am not thinner when we meet that it will have been different if I were thinner, ya know? Now, what do you think?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ok, but I do like him and I am afraid that if I am not thinner when we meet that it will have been different if I were thinner, ya know? Now, what do you think?

Personally I would be honest about him about your weight before you go. Nothing is worse then seeing a disappointed face at a first date. This way again if he's that shallow then you haven't wasted your time. I know its hard but you should do it. Also tell him what your doing now so that he knows that your in a "transformation" stage. That works well for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pigsrflyin, you NEED to go on this date. If he's the right guy he will like you for you. I think sometimes we're too hard on ourselves and think that because we're not "thin" yet, someone can't be attracted to us. That's not true. Know that you're a prize and that he'd be lucky to have you. If you meet and there's chemistry - great. If you meet and there's not, just remember that it has nothing to do with you. Chemistry is funny like that. Just go out and have FUN!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • KimBaxleyWilson

      Three months and four days ago... I was in Costa Rica having a life changing surgery! Yesterday we had a followup visit with Dr. Esmeral via video chat and this morning my middle number changed.  I'm down 47lbs and two pants sizes. I can wear a Large tshirt for the first time in like... 14 years! Woot!! Everything is going great. I have zero regrets. I went down to the riverwalk with a friend and walked 2 miles on Monday without even getting fatigued. And no more snoring or chugging pickle juice for crazy leg cramps! I need to go to the gym more... I'm making new shirts next week so that will motivate me. LOL But I'm also just not as TIRED all the time! I have a LONG way to go...but seeing the progress on the scales and in the mirror is a huge motivator!! Thank you all for cheering me on and supporting me!!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • bellaamey

      https://alluniqueguide.com/java-burn-coffee-reviews/
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×