Hi all-

I'm thrilled to see an LGBT presence on the forums here. I know there are aspects of WLS that are unique to LGBT & it's great to have a place to support one another.

I had a rough week. I was scheduled to have gastric sleeve surgery on Wed, Jan. 9th. But with less than a week before surgery, I found out that my insurance would not approve me until I submitted 3 months of nutritionist's evaluations. I was shell-shocked because I had already put myself in the head space of having the surgery, only to have a setback in the eleventh hour.

I've had time to gain some perspective & connected with a good nutritionist who I'm confident will get me to the finish line on this.

One unique issue I've encountered as I plan for surgery is who I choose to tell & how I choose to tell them. It really does bring me back to my days of coming out as a gay man in my early 20s. Interestingly, I think more people have stronger opinions about weight loss surgery and food/weight issues than about LGBT issues.

So far, all my friends and family have responded positively with a few that are just concerned. But I've made sure I'm well-versed in the details of my tentative WLS as well as the details of why I've decided it's the appropriate choice for me. But it is really interesting how similar it feels to coming out & how I often have to evaluate who I want to tell & who really just doesn't need to know.

Anyway, I'm excited to use this forum as a support resource as I move forward on my journey. Glad to see you all here!

Hi Kennedy, welcome and congrats on your choice. Hope you have your sleeve soon and everything goes well. Good luck!

Hi Kennedy, welcome and congrats on your choice. Hope you have your sleeve soon and everything goes well. Good luck!

Thanks! And congratulations on your recent surgery!!

Welcome, Kennedy! I am hoping to have VSG next month, and although the Center of Excellence I'm working with is part of the health system I work for, and theoretically very familiar with the health system's insurance, I am just waiting for them to throw a curve (no pun intended) at me! I was "only" a 40 BMI when I started seeing the surgeon, and am now down to 37 BMI, and I keep wondering if they'll say "you are doing it on your own, so you don;t need surgery". I just have to be patient - as you are being. I suppose thee months of working with a nutritionist could be a very good thing (for all of us), although I am sure that the surprise imposed wait is very frustrating. Best of luck to you!

I am hoping that this is a fairly active LGBT group - most of teh ones I've found on places like Fibit or MyFitnessPal aren't...

Welcome, Kennedy! I am hoping to have VSG next month, and although the Center of Excellence I'm working with is part of the health system I work for, and theoretically very familiar with the health system's insurance, I am just waiting for them to throw a curve (no pun intended) at me! I was "only" a 40 BMI when I started seeing the surgeon, and am now down to 37 BMI, and I keep wondering if they'll say "you are doing it on your own, so you don;t need surgery". I just have to be patient - as you are being. I suppose thee months of working with a nutritionist could be a very good thing (for all of us), although I am sure that the surprise imposed wait is very frustrating. Best of luck to you!

I am hoping that this is a fairly active LGBT group - most of teh ones I've found on places like Fibit or MyFitnessPal aren't...

Thank you!

Hopefully, all will go smoothly for you. But i completely understand your worry. best of luck in the home stretch!

Hi Kennedy,

That is such a bummer that your date was changed. Once I made the decision and had a date, I didn't want anything to deter me. I can only imagine how difficult it is to regroup.

I understand about sharing the fact you're having this surgery. I told only immediate family and one friend prior. I was surprised that every one was extremely supportive. I had thought there might have been some judgment in there, but there wasn't.

I go back to work on Monday and really haven't decided if I'll be telling anyone. At some point, I'll have to face it, but not yet - I don't think it's too noticeable yet!

Anyway - welcome!

Hi Kennedy! Congratulations on your decision for surgery.. it totally is a life changer thats for darn sure!

I found the same thing you seem to have found. When I told my closest friends and family, they were all very supportive, and I think that I too was well-versed in all of the details of the surgery, good and bad it made them more comfortable that I had researched everything so thoroughly. It also I think, helped them to understand how very important it was to me. So, even though I know they all were scared, they all supported me.

This online community is amazing, and so very supportive. There are a few over opinionated folks around here. I just try to remind myself that most of them mean well, even if we disagree.

Good luck to you on your WLS journey!!

congrats! waiting on my surgery date for this month!

Hey Kennedy.

I'm sure you'll get there soon. VSG has been a great thing for me already.

There's a LGBT presence on the forum. There are also a lot of LGBT friendly members also. I'm straight (married 16 years) My wife and I lived in a gay community in Sydney Australia for 15 years before making a sea change.

I've thought there are a number of similarities between coming out and disclosing WLS. I haven't wanted to say that out loud until you said it, because I worried about offending someone. Lets face it you don't choose to be gay but you choose to have WLS.

My WLS surgery is well and truly out there. I've told everyone. Anyone who has had a conversation with me has been supportive (I'm 8 weeks post op). I'm prepared for the day someone won't be, and I'll forgive them their ignorance!

People have asked me if I've encountered any negative comments. My standard response is 'People are either going to support me in this or say something stupid'......

Since being on this forum I've told people there's no reason WLS should be anyone's dirty little secret. If someone has walked in my shoes and yoyo dieted forever ....... I'll allow them an opinion

Good luck on your journey!

All the best,

Deano

Hi Kennedy,

That is such a bummer that your date was changed. Once I made the decision and had a date, I didn't want anything to deter me. I can only imagine how difficult it is to regroup.

I understand about sharing the fact you're having this surgery. I told only immediate family and one friend prior. I was surprised that every one was extremely supportive. I had thought there might have been some judgment in there, but there wasn't.

I go back to work on Monday and really haven't decided if I'll be telling anyone. At some point, I'll have to face it, but not yet - I don't think it's too noticeable yet!

Anyway - welcome!

Thanks, Annie! Yes, I was really bummed. But I'm keeping all in a positive perspective. It will eventually happen.

Congratulations on your surgery! Good luck with your return to work & the journey forward.

Hi Kennedy! Congratulations on your decision for surgery.. it totally is a life changer thats for darn sure!

I found the same thing you seem to have found. When I told my closest friends and family, they were all very supportive, and I think that I too was well-versed in all of the details of the surgery, good and bad it made them more comfortable that I had researched everything so thoroughly. It also I think, helped them to understand how very important it was to me. So, even though I know they all were scared, they all supported me.

This online community is amazing, and so very supportive. There are a few over opinionated folks around here. I just try to remind myself that most of them mean well, even if we disagree.

Good luck to you on your WLS journey!!

Thanks!

I think you are so right about how much it helps others when you can speak informatively about your WLS with others. It really does ease people's concerns.

I'm also finding that much like coming out of the closet, the more i talk about it with folks, the easier it becomes for me to articulate it. Plus, now that I'm older, I don't care as much what people outside of my closest family & friends think about my choice.

So glad to find you & the others here. Looking forward to participating in the forum!

Sad to hear your date was changed but keep moving forward! Although I am not LGBT, I have plenty dear friends who are and I just love good people! Good luck with everything!

Hey Kennedy.

I'm sure you'll get there soon. VSG has been a great thing for me already.

There's a LGBT presence on the forum. There are also a lot of LGBT friendly members also. I'm straight (married 16 years) My wife and I lived in a gay community in Sydney Australia for 15 years before making a sea change.

I've thought there are a number of similarities between coming out and disclosing WLS. I haven't wanted to say that out loud until you said it, because I worried about offending someone. Lets face it you don't choose to be gay but you choose to have WLS.

My WLS surgery is well and truly out there. I've told everyone. Anyone who has had a conversation with me has been supportive (I'm 8 weeks post op). I'm prepared for the day someone won't be, and I'll forgive them their ignorance!

People have asked me if I've encountered any negative comments. My standard response is 'People are either going to support me in this or say something stupid'......

Since being on this forum I've told people there's no reason WLS should be anyone's dirty little secret. If someone has walked in my shoes and yoyo dieted forever ....... I'll allow them an opinion

Good luck on your journey!

All the best,

Deano

Hey Dean-

It is always great to chat with gay-friendly folks like you to lend an even broader scope to discussions.

I definitely think there is a big similarity between coming out as gay & coming out about WLS. The interesting part about weight issues of course is that they are so visible, and therefore, pretty difficult to hide even if one wanted to.

As an openly gay man, I can't imagine having to keep any major aspect of my life a secret from others. So, I've already shared my plans for surgery with the most important people in my life. But I will be curious to see what it will be like at work & with casual acquaintances after surgery. I'll probably just handle them on a case by case basis. But I think the most important thing is not be afraid to discuss it out of shame or embarrassment. It sounds like you handle it very well. And you're right, anyone who has struggled with the constant roller coaster of food/weight/diet issues like we all have has earned the right to be proud of their decision to take back control of their health.

Congratulations on your surgery & best of luck on your journey!

Sad to hear your date was changed but keep moving forward! Although I am not LGBT, I have plenty dear friends who are and I just love good people! Good luck with everything!

Thank you so much! I've had a few days to be a little less angry and a little less sad. I'm looking at it as a minor setback now. Best of luck with your own journey!!

So sorry your date was changed! That would have sent me over the edge that close to surgery! I had a lot of setbacks during my prep period due to insurance, but I got through it all, and had surgery 12/11. So far everything has gone really well!

I had to comment about your question regarding who you should tell. As others have said, that's entirely up to you. I have to say, I was really worried about how some would react, because I agree, there's a huge stigma attached to WLS. But I have yet to have a negative reaction. In fact, I haven't gone around advertising it, but when people have asked why I was out of work for 2 weeks, I told them. The girls in our front office at the school where I teach were instantly super excited and very supportive. They wanted details and asked me to keep them posted about how it was going. They offered to be my cheerleaders. It's a small thing, but it felt really nice to be so openly supported in such a major life decision. There will be those who judge, but they tend to be the same people who judge about everything else, so there's just no winning with those people.

Good luck! It will happen before you know it!

So sorry your date was changed! That would have sent me over the edge that close to surgery! I had a lot of setbacks during my prep period due to insurance, but I got through it all, and had surgery 12/11. So far everything has gone really well!

I had to comment about your question regarding who you should tell. As others have said, that's entirely up to you. I have to say, I was really worried about how some would react, because I agree, there's a huge stigma attached to WLS. But I have yet to have a negative reaction. In fact, I haven't gone around advertising it, but when people have asked why I was out of work for 2 weeks, I told them. The girls in our front office at the school where I teach were instantly super excited and very supportive. They wanted details and asked me to keep them posted about how it was going. They offered to be my cheerleaders. It's a small thing, but it felt really nice to be so openly supported in such a major life decision. There will be those who judge, but they tend to be the same people who judge about everything else, so there's just no winning with those people.

Good luck! It will happen before you know it!

Thanks, Jennie. Yes, it was a rough hurdle for sure. But you're right, it's gonna happen soon enough.

That's a great story. It is wonderful when the kindness of folks lifts us up like that. More reason to live our lives open and without shame or regret. Thanks for sharing.