Hi all-

I'm thrilled to see an LGBT presence on the forums here. I know there are aspects of WLS that are unique to LGBT & it's great to have a place to support one another.

I had a rough week. I was scheduled to have gastric sleeve surgery on Wed, Jan. 9th. But with less than a week before surgery, I found out that my insurance would not approve me until I submitted 3 months of nutritionist's evaluations. I was shell-shocked because I had already put myself in the head space of having the surgery, only to have a setback in the eleventh hour.

I've had time to gain some perspective & connected with a good nutritionist who I'm confident will get me to the finish line on this.

One unique issue I've encountered as I plan for surgery is who I choose to tell & how I choose to tell them. It really does bring me back to my days of coming out as a gay man in my early 20s. Interestingly, I think more people have stronger opinions about weight loss surgery and food/weight issues than about LGBT issues.

So far, all my friends and family have responded positively with a few that are just concerned. But I've made sure I'm well-versed in the details of my tentative WLS as well as the details of why I've decided it's the appropriate choice for me. But it is really interesting how similar it feels to coming out & how I often have to evaluate who I want to tell & who really just doesn't need to know.

Anyway, I'm excited to use this forum as a support resource as I move forward on my journey. Glad to see you all here!

Hi, all -

I was really reluctant to tell anyone about even looking into surgery, except for my partner and a couple we're friends with in which one had RnY a few years back. After a couple of weeks, I had to tell my mom - she has dinner with us 2 or 3 days a week. At first she was surprised and very worried, but I talked to her and she came to see that I had done a lot of research and soul-searching. She has a gym friend in her 70s that had it a couple of years ago, and talking to her helped my mom, too.

I told one of the 9 docs I worked with, and he was wonderful. Apparently he has a family fiend who is a bariatric surgeon. But I still don't feel like making announcements, so I told him that while I'm on leave he can tell the other 8, and any of my staff who asks why I'm out on leave.

This is going to sound really weird, but my biggest worry isn't people who will try to talk me out of it - it's the many very overweight women whom I have hired over the years. Several are significantly larger than I am - probably 4 or 5 of my 38-member team are over 300#. Will they feel like my decision to do this is a judgment of them - like "she must not want to end up like us (ergo she thinks we're bad)"?? Will seeing me get smaller quickly make them feel uncomfortable, or shamed?

I tend to be a person who judges myself far more harshly than she judges anyone else, and as a manager I worry a lot about how whatever I do and say affects my team's morale. I'm probably going way overboard here, but I can't help it.

I have to say that when I finally came out 7 or 8 years ago, it didn't seem to make one darned bit of difference to any doctor or any of my staff.

Hi, all -

I was really reluctant to tell anyone about even looking into surgery, except for my partner and a couple we're friends with in which one had RnY a few years back. After a couple of weeks, I had to tell my mom - she has dinner with us 2 or 3 days a week. At first she was surprised and very worried, but I talked to her and she came to see that I had done a lot of research and soul-searching. She has a gym friend in her 70s that had it a couple of years ago, and talking to her helped my mom, too.

I told one of the 9 docs I worked with, and he was wonderful. Apparently he has a family fiend who is a bariatric surgeon. But I still don't feel like making announcements, so I told him that while I'm on leave he can tell the other 8, and any of my staff who asks why I'm out on leave.

This is going to sound really weird, but my biggest worry isn't people who will try to talk me out of it - it's the many very overweight women whom I have hired over the years. Several are significantly larger than I am - probably 4 or 5 of my 38-member team are over 300#. Will they feel like my decision to do this is a judgment of them - like "she must not want to end up like us (ergo she thinks we're bad)"?? Will seeing me get smaller quickly make them feel uncomfortable, or shamed?

I tend to be a person who judges myself far more harshly than she judges anyone else, and as a manager I worry a lot about how whatever I do and say affects my team's morale. I'm probably going way overboard here, but I can't help it.

I have to say that when I finally came out 7 or 8 years ago, it didn't seem to make one darned bit of difference to any doctor or any of my staff.

Hi WillowAnn-

That is a really interesting concern that your workplace presents. First off, kudos for the self-awareness it takes to realize that you may be internalizing the issue & worrying more than necessary.

That very well may be the case, but it is still a legitimate concern even so because so many of us who have dealt with weight/food issues are uniquely sensitive to those issues.

I can share a recent personal experience that may be helpful. I have a co-worker who is also overweight. She & I have become friends over the year we've known one another. I decided to share my journey to surgery with her. I followed her cues as to how comfortable she was in discussing it & didn't over-share information with her. I approached our discussion from a "I know you can relate to this frustration" point of view & it went very smoothly. In fact, she revealed that she has thought about WLS & will be interesting in my journey to see if it is right for her as well.

I know not everyone reacts or handles things the same, so the people at your work may be different. And being a boss can make it a different dynamic that may not make a lot of persona discussion possible. But so far, I have found that it can be a supportive relationship rather than an adversarial one.

Hi, I am.sorry that your date was changed last minute. Honestly, I would not have handled that well. However, it sounds like you have made the mental adjustment you needed.....You sound like a strong person....More power to you! I am gay and must say it is nice to see family on here..... I feel for those who have struggled with people not being kind to those of us who have chosen wls. I never expected a few of my friends to struggle with my wls surgery. They were fine until my weight dropped lower than their own. Now there is trouble in the water... My approach has been to just encourage them to take care of their health. Never in my wildest dreams did I see this coming. However, I feel sorry for them. At work I chose to tell very few people pre op. Post op I tell everyone at who asks.That worked out well for me. I have gotten nothing but positive reactions from every co worker who has asked. Anyhow enough of my rambling... Best Wishes...... Tina