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If nameless, faceless people on an Internet forum have the ability to make you feel badly about yourself, you've got bigger problems than a few bites of chicken. ;)

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Internet bullying is a real issue, just like in person bullying.

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Internet bullying is a real issue, just like in person bullying.

So is emotional immaturity.

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I don't feel bad about the bites, it's my mistake. Personally I am happy it's grilled chicken and not any carbs. Nurse said if I didn't have a problem with it then I shouldn't worry! But to be safe, for my stomachs sake I will stay on Protein Shakes til week 4.

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With that, I'm going to leave the forum now but I wish you all the best, truly.

Merry Christmas, and please remember the reason for the season. We should all be being kind to one another in honor of those who can't be here.

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As long as you follow what the nurse told you: if it sits well, you're okay, you should be fine. Just take it slow as far as introducing new foods. My NUT doesn't okay chicken until 6-8 weeks out. But every surgeon has a different plan.

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Internet bullying?! Seriously? That's laughable, and it's insulting to victims of *real* Internet bullying.

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Everyone, please remember our rules. Be polite, respect one another and attack the idea, not the person. If you need to refresh yourself on what our rules our so you do not violate them and receive a warning and/or ban, here is the link:

http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/index.php?app=forums&module=extras&section=boardrules

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Simply...

Quite true that my leak was not caused by anything I did. I followed doctors orders to a t after surgery (both) because of a fear of leaks While I didn't cause the leak, I do know what can cause one, as well as...and the more important part...what happens to your body when you have a leak. Who cares how it happens? I spoke with Liz many times when she was feeling off about what a leak is and how it could affect her to help her with symptoms. Her leak was not caused the same way as mine, and yet, turns out Liz had a leak and talking about it with her led her to go have her symptoms checked out. The why of the situation isn't the issue...it's the outcome and I'd rather the OP never know what a leak feels like. Heck I'd rather no one ever knew and I'll keep making an effort to educate people as to how and why they happen as well as how to avoid them.

You are not a doctor and have never experienced a leak, and yet you are an expert apparently on what's ok to eat and how. Your lack of experience or medical expertise is obvious and yet you are going to question the validity of the statements of someone who's been down the horrible road first hand???? That's kind of silly really isn't it? You see the irony??

OP, I'm glad you found a support group to attend. I was not trying to insult you in suggesting help. This is a long road and it's not just about the surgery. It's about understanding the seriousness of this huge step you took and using the tool correctly...and recovering in a healthy fashion so you have a long and happy life without the burden of food issues over your head. I hope you find huge success in the journey, but please...just think quickly of what could happen early out. It's not "cheating" it's Russian roulette and no one wants to play that game.

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To the OP, and others in a similar situation, I do not feel that because you cheated at three weeks out, or were so badly craving a piece of real food that you took a small bite, chewed it up for the flavor and then spit it out qualifies you as having a full blown "eating disorder" that requires you to immediately seek help from a therapist. We are all weak, we didn't become obese by having a strong willpower to resist the temptations of food, we became that way because we don't. We tried diets, but they weren't successful, hence, we turned to the sleeve. Whilst they are able to sleeve our stomachs, they are not able to sleeve our brains. And no matter how much we prepare, psych ourselves up, get counseling beforehand, etc., the bottom line is those old demons do not just disappear overnight. And lets be honest, I don't care who you are, between the pre-op and post-op diets, we go a very, very long time on liquids and mushies only. Kudos to all of you who decide to undertake that. No matter how much you prepare for that, until you are actually doing it, you have no idea just how difficult of an undertaking that is. If you are able to make it through the entire process without cheating, I commend you. If you aren't, it doesn't mean you have failed, it doesn't mean you didn't research, it doesn't mean you weren't prepared or ready for this surgery, it just means you are human and you caved. Own up to it, understand you made a mistake, tell your doctor and get right back on track.

Understand, I am not saying you didn't or won't put yourself at risk, but I am sure each of you already knew that, or you wouldn't be "confessing" it here. But believe me, you weren't the first or the last to cheat. What is important is that hopefully you are okay, understand what you did, and immediately get back on track and do your absolute best to make sure you don't do it again. This is a tough, tough journey to take, lets all be supportive in an honest, caring and respectful manner of one another.

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To say we're all going through the same thing isn't really true. Some of you cheat and are fine, while others follow the rules religiously and still get a leak.

If you had the slightest clue how painful and life threatening a leak is, you wouldn't cave so easily.

And I agree, if you know you're cheating and make it a point to chew meticulously the food you shouldn't have it's not a "slip" but absolute disregard for the rules your Bariatric team set up for YOU. To keep you HEALTHY!

I haven't had a drink in 20 days. I can't even have ice chips. If I can keep myself from drinking out of the sinks in my hospital room or sneaking a swig from the Water fountain I pass every time I walk, surely anybody can say no to foods they aren't supposed to have yet. I've had to avoid a survival instinct by keeping Water out of my mouth for TWENTY DAYS and at the earliest I can have ie chips for Christmas if my barium swallow comes back ok.

You want to taste something just because you crave the taste? It can wait a couple more weeks. if you give in so easily so early you're setting yourself up for complications, not just a leak, but some serious regain in the future. No single bite of food is worth going through what I'm going through now and others like Iggy have in the past.

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Thanks all! While I appreciate the input, I would like to caution some of you on your tone. If I am needing "help" please offer a suggestion of who/where. If you can't fathom a fat chick making a fat chick choice lol **shrugs** If you can't relate to a mistep and have no encouragement...please keep it moving. I don't need anyone being condesending (not to be confused with being honest/telling it like it is). I talked to my doctor about my spoonful and he assured me that I would be fine and that ALLOT of people slip (if they want to admit it to others or even themselves). I also understand that there are those that NEVER mistep **round of applause** Anywho, I've been back on track the past couple of days. Again, thank you for the support. In the event I mess up again...I'll be back to confess it.

VERY WELL SAID!! It shocks me when people have the nerve to be so rude and judgmental. We aren't perfect. This is a tool, not a fix or cure all. Take it one day at a time and get back on the wagon.

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I'm not even going to argue because you make no sense. We're on vertical sleeve talk. OBVIOUSLY the confession thread will be about the sleeve.

I hope you never make a mistake and post. Karma sucks.

"Treat others the way you want to be treated"

They would probably never post about a mistake or admit. Or maybe they really are just that perfect. The back and forth that I've read on this post has turned me off. There is a way to say things. When im talking to a friend in person the tone would be completely different than a stranger online. People can read into text several different ways. And any help you tried to provide is lost because you come off as a jerk. If you have a few people telling you that your tone is harsh, or moderators posting rules to remind you to be respectful, maybe you should check yourself.

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I find more of a problem with those that assume people are "jerks" because they point out the importance of following the rules of their surgeon. Condoning cheating and saying its fine, in my opinion, is a clear illustration of their holier than thou complex and teaches the person seeking help that it's ok to ignore the structured diet set for them.

The sleeve isn't a cure-all. It's a tool designed to work WITH the right diet. And so early on, I'll say this again from my hospital bed, no taste is worth the risk of being where I am. I didn't break a rule, and have been here 3 weeks. Taking that risk isn't worth it.

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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