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My husband is an ass



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Perhaps, because getting hungry at the mall was never an issue before, it just didn't occur to him that you would find it to be insensitive this time.

I realise it p'd you off, but I think you should give him a break. It would be nice if our families jumped on our bandwagon, but it's not realistic.

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Wow

** EDIT **

I love how women believe men think the same way they do. When we don't' date=' we're insensitive asses. Hmmm ...[/quote']

You're so cute :P You're ALWAYS insensitive asses silly :o Not just when you don't think like us heh heh

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So im 1 week out from surgery and were at the mall taking my daughter to get santa pics as soon as we enter the mall my husband says hes starving' date=' wtf!!! Why couldn't he have made something before we left, so now im sitting in the food court hating life watching everyone shove down delicious food I hate him right now[/quote']

wow.

Hate the fact you let yourself get to a place where you needed WLS. If you don't like this scenario then you probably shouldn't have stuffed your face all these years. Give the poor guy a break! We all reap what we sow... I'm 10 days from my sleeve and I do feel your pain but calling your poor husband an ass here is nuts.

snicker.

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Wow, I wonder why I become less & less interested in coming to the forum. I think I'm going to start a forum of my own. I'm going to call it "Man Bashers". I'm sure I'll be so overwhelmed with members I'll be able to charge a membership fee, and sell advertisement at the same time.

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Oh quit your bitchin' OTR ;) You think this is bashing? Come over here!

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Since the day I got out of hospital I still sit and "eat" with my family, even when I was on liquids. I'd had my fill of 'food court' and all you can eat buffets. The rest of my family can regulate their appetites, I'm not going to have them miss out on anything and I'm not going to miss out on family time, including meal times.

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I am with you 100%, Dean!!

This is my issue and my journey. The world doesn't stop revolving or eating and the simple fact is that I am the one that has to do the changing and hard work now....no one else.

My family has been amazingly supportive and all week ( I am 7 days post op) has apologized for eating in front of me...to which I have replied....please don't be silly, eat....it's supper time!!!! That is actually one of the main reasons I chose WLS....so I could handle these situations better and not have to be in a perpetual diet. It is very different right now while I am on full liquids but I know this will not last forever and then I can be back to eating like everyone else....just a lot less and a lot healthier.

We happen to be addicted to something that is my illegal, something that is all around us all the time and something that we can't give up altogether.....but this is our chance to learn how to deal with all of that. Even at the food court!!!!

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I go out all the time with my family, I went out for dinner a month out if surgery. We just have to choose from the menu. For example we went to Denny's one middle of the night. Hubby got his usual fatatastic food that he gains no weight from, lol I added those 1.99 side choices to his meal for me. I added a side salad with a side of shrimp kabob. A small meal for me :) yay! Or if I go out with friends or family I order whatever is the healthiest appetizer.

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Im four days post-op and im staying with my girlfriend for the first few days - yeah everytime someones in the kitchen cooking or snacking it sucks but theres no way in hell id expect her or anyone else to change their life based on a decision "I" made for "me." Thats just selfish. If it were reversed would you be ok if he expected you to hide and feel guilty for eating something that tastes great because "he" made a decision to change "his" life? Yeah it sucks but its nobodys faults but our own for making this decision to change our lives for the better. I love how many posts i see where its always hubby/bf thats an ass for living his life like he always has before the decision his wife/gf made... Yet i dont recall seeing any men calling their wives/gfs "b"s for eating the way they always have. We cant expect others to change bc we did. Sorry for the rant its just relevant at the moment lol. Im not calling mine names for eating cheetos or a banana or pizza just bc shes hungry and im not allowed. *shrugs*

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My WIFE does this to me all the time. I don't throw a hissy fit or pout like a child about it, I just deal with it. It's not her fault that I got fat and had to have surgery to deal with it!

I don't think men are asses at all. I think we just don't expect everyone else to change their lives because of our issues. Not that women think that way at all. :rolleyes:

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My WIFE does this to me all the time. I don't throw a hissy fit or pout like a child about it' date=' I just deal with it. It's not her fault that I got fat and had to have surgery to deal with it!

I don't think men are asses at all. I think we just don't expect everyone else to change their lives because of our issues. Not that women think that way at all. :rolleyes: [/quote']

Amen lol. Now granted its not all of the women on here that make us out to be asses. Ive seen quite a few who have the same mindset as us - it was their choice so they dont blame the others around them.

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Looking back at the OP, I'm sure a lot of that was hunger talking. It can be very frustrating. But to you presleevers, this is the kind of conversation you should have with your significant other (or resident ass) before surgery. If you want him to eat Oreos in the other room for the first month, ask him if he's willing to do that BEFORE the surgery, while things are calm. Think about how you'd feel if you were being asked to do this. If he will agree to this...great. If it doesn't seem reasonable, then you may be the one who has to be in the other room while he eats Oreos. It's your issue, not your spouse's issue. Part of your recovery will be learning how to deal in these situations...when people are eating in front of you. You can't expect everyone to change their life because you are. Just know, in the long run you'll be a stronger person for it.

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Looking back at the OP' date=' I'm sure a lot of that was hunger talking. It can be very frustrating. But to you presleevers, this is the kind of conversation you should have with your significant other (or resident ass) before surgery. If you want him to eat Oreos in the other room for the first month, ask him if he's willing to do that BEFORE the surgery, while things are calm. Think about how you'd feel if you were being asked to do this. If he will agree to this...great. If it doesn't seem reasonable, then you may be the one who has to be in the other room while he eats Oreos. It's your issue, not your spouse's issue. Part of your recovery will be learning how to deal in these situations...when people are eating in front of you. You can't expect everyone to change their life because you are. Just know, in the long run you'll be a stronger person for it.[/quote']

Lol @ resident ass haha so can relate. Come on folks, slurping fettuccine Alfredo noodles is over the top!

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It's funny... my wife pulled out like 7 candy dishes for Christmas this year. She put sugar free Chocolates in 1, my assortment of sugary free worthers in another, then the others she put tiny kit kat bars, and mint hershey kisses in one, kisses with almonds in another, pecan turtles in another...

Okay...

I am not going to eat the sugar free ones if the other stuff is freaking amazing! I lost it and was like "Why after every Christmas we've had together did you go on a candy overload this year?!?!"

She played innocent for about a minute before admitting that last year she bought candy bowls after Christmas on sale and wanted to use them. I digress and moved on... I did have a few candies over the holidays but she's promised not to bring out a flurry of candy dishes next year, LOL!

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It does get better. I went out when they did and got egg drop Soup or something I COULD have. I wasn't hungry at that point anyway. I just wanted to come along. Him going to a place where you couldn't enjoy anything was a bit insensitive, but like Amazon said, I would have left him there and gone shopping -- Meet me at American Eagle biatch LOL!

My husband was afraid to order a pizza and eat it in front of me at home, but I told him to go ahead. It was nice that he asked. We also don't keep junk food around. It's better for all of us.

I should add that in a month or sooner, seeing people shovel mass quantities of food is going to totally gross you out.

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      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. summerseeker

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