Compliments/ Insults

[bbkipps99 48]

Gotta agree with rootman on this. There is a line at work and we gotta stay about 3 ft behind it at times. U dont know how it will be accepted. Guys says u look pretty might land u in HR for hitting on a co-worker these days. But why not accept the compliment that was given at least it was noticed right. Compliment was true btw

[Pelekania 156]

I hear you loud and clear. For some reason, offending overweight people and being condicending to them seems to be an acceptable thing when any other kind of offense (race, religion, handicap, etc.) seems to cause outrage. It's an age-old issue. It's been going on forever. For some reason we're expected to take it in and deal with it instead of people being taught that socially they need to be more aware about what they're saying and the negative impact it can have.

Guess that makes us the 'bigger' person for being able to handle the ridicule without killing people! (Pun FULLY intended.)

What will be more fun will be getting to goal and then seeing the comments that are made. Those people who think we're "pretty" now, will be those who are jealous first and start hitting us with "are you sure you're not losing too much"? They'll never be satisfied. All we can do is be our own cheerleader and take their comments (good and bad) with a grain of salt. They will NEVER be satisfied because there is apparently something about us that makes them feel inferior so they have to make degrading comments. BRING IT ON...I say.

You are so right, we are expected to deal with it. Society believes that they can say anything to us because it's our fault, right?? Well they are wrong...dead wrong! No one just wake up one morning and be like, "Hey, you know what I am going to eat everything in sight...all of the fat and its trimmings!"

When I decided to have surgery, I confided in my sister and expressed how I wanted her to be with me when I did it (we are really close). Well you can imagine did not go how I expected it to go. I have struggled with weigh all my life...have always been bigger than others. Well her response was why did I want to go and why can't I just discipline myself enough and stay with a workout plan while being on a low calorie diet...losing 1-2 pds a week? I got heated as the conversation continued to go downhill from that point and then stated to her that I pray that she never gets overweight or obese. And than she replied, "Oh, I would NEVER let myself get THAT BIG!" lol shoot me where I stand.

I can definitely see the jealousy...never thought about it that way. And people will never be satisfied about how we look...it will always be something. You are getting too small...

I think I will say... "Don't hate, appreciate the finer things!" And wait for their reaction. haha

[Pelekania 156]

it definitely feels like a backhanded compliment.

"you have such a pretty face" = too bad the rest of you makes me want to burn my eyes out with a red-hot fire poker

My favorite one is one that you'll get from the uber-religious... "you have such a sweet spirit" = Jesus loves you even though most people can't stand to look at you and you'll never find love in this life because of your hideousness.

I've also on more than one occassion been grilled by people at the summit of mountains wanting to know how I got to the top. I had one person actually ask me if there was a road for cars to get to the summit... UM, I got to the top by hiking my big fat azz up here... It's shocking I know, because fat women are supposed to sit around in yoga pants all day watching Dr. Phil and drinking bacon grease.

Definitely feels like backhanded compliments!

"Drinking backing grease" lol I hate it when people ask me if I have anything to snack on and are pleasantly surprised when I am like no, I do not carry a glove compartment full of little Debbie Snacks and I do not have quarter pounders and fries in my purse! Love seeing their reaction.

[Tiffany Talbert Corbet 46]

Pelekania....you area riot! And your sister needs to be put over your knee and some sense slapped into her skinny butt. My sister and my half sister were 2 of the first I told about my decision (after my hubby). They both jumped on the bandwagon with me and were so excited. They've neither had weight issues growing up. My sister was always skinny, and to this day is 5'9" 135 lbs. She was always borrowing my sweatshirts because she loved wearing baggy clothes. My half sister (she's 13 yrs younger) is about 5'5" and probably weighs about 135-140....lots of curves and smack in the middle of normal. But they both have watched me struggle through my life with my weight and constantly fighting to try and get smaller. When I told them about this they were both so excited. My sister actually took vacation time and came to stay with me (4 hrs from where she lives) for a week to help me out, hang out with me while I recovered and cook for my hubby. I wish everyone could have the support I have. I'm sorry your sister doesn't get it, and I hope is will dawn on her soon that this doesn't change who you are, it only changes how long you will get to be around.

[Pelekania 156]

Pelekania....you area riot! And your sister needs to be put over your knee and some sense slapped into her skinny butt. My sister and my half sister were 2 of the first I told about my decision (after my hubby). They both jumped on the bandwagon with me and were so excited. They've neither had weight issues growing up. My sister was always skinny, and to this day is 5'9" 135 lbs. She was always borrowing my sweatshirts because she loved wearing baggy clothes. My half sister (she's 13 yrs younger) is about 5'5" and probably weighs about 135-140....lots of curves and smack in the middle of normal. But they both have watched me struggle through my life with my weight and constantly fighting to try and get smaller. When I told them about this they were both so excited. My sister actually took vacation time and came to stay with me (4 hrs from where she lives) for a week to help me out, hang out with me while I recovered and cook for my hubby. I wish everyone could have the support I have. I'm sorry your sister doesn't get it, and I hope is will dawn on her soon that this doesn't change who you are, it only changes how long you will get to be around.

Thanks! I don't even talk to her about it anymore. We stay in different states so when she does see me (I visit her family at least twice a year), it will definitely be LESS!

My boyfriend is super supportive...he's helping my pay for it (self pay in Mexico). But I wish I could talk to my sister and she'd understand considering how close we are. My boyfriend eats however and whatever he wants and stays muscular lean...no one who really understands what I am going through...glad I have VST!

[Piplula 709]

Comments like this you will never forget. My own father told me when I was 15 y/o that I would be so pretty if I would lose 10#. ( I was 20# overweight according to the weight chart...my BMI was 21% according to biometrical impedance tests which is normal wt.) What did that equate to a teenager? You're butt ugly...Worthless. Since that day....never once have I thought I was pretty. Cleaned up, dressed nicely, makeup on..yes...pretty nope..not even on my wedding day..I looked into a mirror once. Family portraits..good luck finding one in my house..I hate pictures of myself. Now that I am older, wiser, and married..blah, blah, blah....I still think I am ugly. Oh well...ugly and thinner is better than ugly and sick from being obese.

[landen24 5]

Just last week I went to my grandmothers and first thing she said to me was "you've gained weight". My dad on my birthday tells me he's "healthier than me". When I told my mom I was pregnant, the first thing she told me was "you better watch what you put in your mouth". My mom always tells me and other people that "she weighs less than her daughters"! I grew up with this. No one knows but my husband and friend that I am going to have surgery. And I can't wait to see their reaction when I am skinny!!! RUDE!!!!

[bbkipps99 48]

My grandfather used to say i needed to lose weight so did my grandmother. Jr high and high school kids i grew up with made fun of me. I learned to let i roll off my back so i made the jokes b4 any1 else could. I still heard it but it is what it is.

I do think its funny when i go to a fam members house and they have the chairs below and say sit down... Im like yeah right thats not fm certified( fat man certified) lol

My uncle used to say i had more jelly rolls than duncan donuts

Hell i got big boy kips tattooed on my leg lol

But my uncles and grandfather are my biggest support. My grandfather and my uncle was the ones that were there at the hospital for my surgery

Deff not FMC

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[Catherine Shinn Habhab 97]

My own mother used to say that I have such a pretty face. Thanks Mom, I know your intention is in the right place....after all, you did pay for all of the Weight Watchers meetings.

The worst is moving to a foreign country where they have no problem at all telling you how big your butt is and actually saying, "you are so fat". My FAVORITE: are you sure that you are American? I thought that all Americans girls looked like the girls on Baywatch. YES, those are his exact words!!

[Catherine Shinn Habhab 97]

I've also been told that I look younger than my age, because fat people fill out their wrinkles!

[Ballermom 803]

Well I got asked if I was 7 years older when I joined my local gym. Whaaaat!

really, I'm still in my forties not even 50 yet. I mean no disrespect hey when I get their I want to be an avid biker/chick. Lol

I have soooo much to accomplish by then

Lots of Skinny Sexin. Yea

Being an avid biker /chick

White Water rafting

Vacations with family to say the least

being called a hottie

And get ask if I'm younger

That was the push that I really needed. Oh it's on now, Sleeve me! Lol

[twoolley 141]

Well, I can see that I stepped right into it didn't I.

When I say to a woman YOU HAVE A PRETTY FACE, it MEANS that she has a pretty face. I typically have no other meaning other than the fact that I know I CANNOT venture past that, doing so may jeopardize my job, my marriage and my legal standing.

Why not just take it for what it was, a compliment. Yes ladies, we ARE that shallow.

Come on Rootman... you were crazy for even wandering into this minefield. Don't know know by now that this type of this is a trap?!?! The only way you're getting out without serious injury is an airlift.

[Rootman 1,101]

Come on Rootman... you were crazy for even wandering into this minefield. Don't know know by now that this type of this is a trap?!?! The only way you're getting out without serious injury is an airlift.

Seems I forgot the "argument rule", I'm MALE and therefore everything I say is inherently WRONG

[Piplula 709]

Sorry Rootman..didn't your internal alarms not go off? Warning....Warning ....Danger Will Robinson!!!!!

[GeauxForIt 659]

I take a compliment as just that and say Thanks!! It's really not appropriate to say, "your ass is fine!!" at work, so I think they're just saying what they can. And you're beautiful, btw

And I bet your ass is, too!!