:help:

Hi everyone

I just got banded last week and I am planning on telling my boss on Monday. Did anyone else have issues with telling their co-workers or others? I am afraid he will be judgemental and I can't sleep at night going over and over in my head what I will say to him so that he understands. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks

Dessia

Banded 10-10-06

Dr. Kuri

Just curious, why do you have to tell him anything? It is your body. If you are not comfortable telling him, then don't.

Ya I didnt tell any of them , theres way too many of them and its too much hassle to even explain it to them, if you have a close relationship I would tell them, but I had 150 others I didnt really want to know!!

Hi Dessia,

I was planning on having surgery in July so that I didn't have to tell my principal or co-workers. However, it didn't work out. I had it done in September. I told everyone that I was having hiatel hernia surgery. It seemed to work. I came back two weeks later and everyone asked how I was feeling and that was it. Even as you lose weight, it's not a big deal. I've been telling everyone who has noticed my wieght loss that I'm eating less and I want to be healthier. If I had Gastric Bypass, then it would have been hard to tell that story b/c the weight loss is sooo quick.

I wouldn't worry about a thing. It's your business. Relax and don't get yourself worked up. Come up with whatever story you feel comfortIable with and stick with it. That's what I did and it's not an issue at all.

Good luck.

I didn't tell anyone I work with including my boss. It really isn't any of their business and if it doesn't hinder your ability to do your job I wouldn't bother...

I agree, my boss is so judgemental! Two close friends at work know. No one else. They see how I eat now. They think I have GREAT self control! If they only knew (hehehe). Why go there. I ttook a week holidays. Knowone even knows I was in surgery. It's YOUR choice. This is not an obligation. There is nothing making you tell anyone. Smile and let them praise your hard work. Trust me, it helps alot nut it's NOT easy.

GOOD LUCK! :confused:

We had an earthquake! Then no power for over 24 hours. Thankfully there were no severe injuries but I couldnt get on the internet to get your replies.

As for telling my boss, I have to. I am in the Army and technically government property. I could even get in trouble if I refused to put on sunscreen and then got a burn that was bad enough to limit my duties. The reason I have to tell him is that we are required to go to physical fitness training, and I can't run for four weeks, so I need to let them know why. You may wonder why with forced exercise I needed the lap band in the first place? The more I exercised the more I let myself eat, definitely keeping the wrong balance of calories! So now here I am. Hopefully he will see that this will help me be more physically fit in the long run, and not give me a hard time. I agree with all of you that it is my business, but unfortunately can't keep it that way. Thanks for all of your encouragement!

Dessia

Dessia,

You must be in Hawaii...glad to hear that you are ok.

I was just ready to add to the comments about not needing to tell, as from an HR perspective (my area of expertise) civilians do not. However, you are in a totally different situation than the rest of us.

That said, my best advice would be to get a note from your surgeon that details your work restrictions for the next four weeks. I even need to get that type of thing for my employer and I have a desk job -- that will take you off the hook of having to just tell him without any documentation. Plus, they probably will need it, anyway, in case there are any questions in the weeks ahead as to what you can or cannot do. You may want to talk to the base doctors to see how they typically handle a situation where someone has had private surgery and what they require as far as documentation re: restrictions. They may even want to examine you, too, to determine when you are fit for your regular duties again.

I would definitely have something in hand either from the base docs or from your surgeon related to your work restrictions and not just rely on telling him verbally.

I've been struggling with that and I have decided not too, it's my body my co-pay fee and my insurance why would they need to know anyways.

Well, I wish I HAD told my boss. Because when I simply told him I was having surgery, he GUESSED it was bariatric surgery OUT LOUD...in front of all of my coworkers!!! I found a vacant office and probably cried for 45 minutes after that.

I told my boss this afternoon and he was very supportive. I think my own hang ups and judgements about myself were what I was worried about. He just told me to do as much as I can, with walking, etc, and when I am ready to start running again, and be sure to get to the clinic if I have any signs of complications. He also said he would keep it completely confidential, which is more than I can say for derbygirl's boss. What a jerk. This is such a personal struggle and journey, but so many people treat it as a character flaw. Don't worry. We have all needed tremendous courage to take the steps we have, and we should be proud. Even if we are proud privately, as should be our choice, not someone else's.

:help:

Hi everyone

I just got banded last week and I am planning on telling my boss on Monday. Did anyone else have issues with telling their co-workers or others? I am afraid he will be judgemental and I can't sleep at night going over and over in my head what I will say to him so that he understands. Anyone have any suggestions?

Thanks

Dessia

Banded 10-10-06

Dr. Kuri

Well, it is your business and you don't have to tell him if you don't want to, if you do, get ready for everybody to find out because people can't

help but spread gossip. So if that doesn't bother you, go ahead ..........

tell him you did it for your health, because you want to stick around longer and not have all the health problems that come along with obesity.

I am sure they will understand. When I tell my doctors, they always say

"well good for you"!

ANNIEMAY

Ya I didnt tell any of them , theres way too many of them and its too much hassle to even explain it to them, if you have a close relationship I would tell them, but I had 150 others I didnt really want to know!!

Have you lost all of your weight since April of this year, because if you have thats great, I've only had 1 fill and don't feel my restriction now at

all. I am losing very very slow. Don't know why.

Anniemay

Hey, SFC I'm Army, too - I just told 'em I had gallbladder surgery. Talked to one of the nurse practitioners at the TMC and she gave me a profile for no running....do you have that option? (and, btw - if you had an earthquake, I'm guessing you're in HI - 25th??)

SSG Suz

I'm having surgery in the morning. I am self-pay so there's no insurance stuff to worry about and as far as telling co-workers, it's none of their business. I told my boss that I'm taking sick days off for a surgical procedure that I've needed for a while, and that it is personal and female related. Nuff said, he didn't want to go there, and as far as I'm concerned, it IS female related - this female wants the surgery - so there you go!

I have told my best friend at work, who also happens to be the HR director here, and she's very supportive with me. Heck, she had lipo a few months ago and pretty much did the same thing with the "it's personal" response. Legally, they can't ask you to elaborate on what you are having done.

I told everyone I had lap-band surgery. When they give me a blank stare, or nod in that "what?" kind of way, I tell them it's a type of weightloss surgery. And then because their first reaction is to assume I'm talking about RNY, I say, "They put an adjustable band at the top of your stomach, and it makes you fill up fast." If they're still lost I will add, "It isn't one of the operations where they cut your organs or anything, they just put a band around it." They're usually on the same page by then.

It's not something I was sensitive about so it never bothered me to tell people, but I understand why not telling is a popular choice. For me there were also some very practical factors. E.g. if something ever happens to me at work, and I'm not in a condition to be able to tell people about my band, I sure as heck want them to already know about it. And because if I'm out, and have to PB, there's no way I can hide that. I'll either be obviously uncomfortable, or spending way more time in the bathroom than I should.

I didn't realize I'd never told my boss until about 3 months after the fact. She and I were at a conference with a 3rd person, who knew about my surgery. She had ordered pizza for us and was offering to get me a piece, I told her no I couldn't eat it... she said "I thought you were hungry?" (thinking "I can't eat it" means I'm full)... so I told her "No, because of my band" and she just looked at me like - what? So I told her what it was, and she wanted to know how it worked so we sat there and I drew her a little diagram. That's all there was to it.

It's really not something to sweat.