My wife was originally planning on having WLS (specifically VSG) after watching my successful recovery with relatively minor complications and successful weight loss. She was going to wait 6 months after my post op to see how things are progressing for me before making a decision to attend a WLS consulatation.

Regardless, her latest decision is to not have WLS for a couple reasons.

1. Slimes and throwing up: She didn't like all the slimes and throwing up I went through when adjusting to the solids phase. It was mainly my fault because I am a fast eater and it took me a while to learn to "hear" the full signals. I had to learn how much to eat, how fast to eat and what types of food my sleeve an tolerate over time. Regardless, she didn't like seeing me in the bathroom so much after eating. I am better now, but still have issues with eating stringy things like roast bean or string green Beans in addition to fatty meats. Truely, it feels like dumping syndrome. I do try to explain to her that not everyone slimes and throws up and most of the time, it was my fault.

2. Auto-immune disease: She has at least 1 auto-immune disease. The one that she has requires an infusion of remicade every 6 weeks. This is one expensive infusion. It is called Ankylosing Spondylitis. You can follow the link for more details. It is basically an auto-immune disesase that attacks all the joints and there is no cure. When we talked to the surgeon during one of my pre-op visits, he said that people with auto-immune diseases might have more complications, but did not go into the details. She might also have PCOS. We do not know yet and will find out soon. This is where I could really use some advise from others.

She has about 150 lb to lose as we both ended up in the same weight range at our heaviest earlier this year. Maybe it is because of life stresses? Who knows. The fact is that her extra weight may be contributing to other complications like high blood pressure, pregnancy issues, lack of desire to be outdoors like walking and hiking and on and on. There are plenty of reasons here alone that would make sense for her to consider it. She has tried manu diets (as I have), but has never lost more than 10-20 lbs on them. Atkins, weight watchers, etc. I've had fairly good results from the diets because I am very focused when something needs to be done, but then I lose my focus and the weight comes back. Hence, WLS was the only tool left for me in order to stop the up and down of weight gain and weight loss.

She used to be "thin" (size 12) in high school, so I am pretty sure she remembers what that is like. She was a pretty hot girl in her younger days. In college she was slightly overweight, but still very hot and sexy (we got married then). We both put on a lot of weight in the last 12 years of our marriage. I don't hold the weight against her (never have), but I would like her to be healthy to avoid future weight-related complications. The weight does not cause her to be unhappy about her life (mainly family is what makes her happy). She is usually in a positive mood and certainly brings happiness and well-being to my life.

I would like her to consider WLS because it is life-changing and truely opens up a lot of opportunities that did not exist before. However, I don't want to push her into something she is against.

Any thoughts?

It is so hard after we have such a positive experience with getting thinner and healthier. She is afraid and doesn't know if the change is going to be good for her. I would tell her your concerns for her health and then let her make her decision. She doesn't have to do it right now. She is watching you and your success with WLS and will perhaps change her mind later on. You have done very well. Also, let her read the posts on this site on successes of people with wls. research sliming and show her that not everybody has the slimes. I never did. Take her with you when you have a check up with your surgeon. Make sure it's not a PA, it needs to be the surgeon and have some questions to ask that may influence her to change her mind. Be supportive and love her. I know that for me, I want my niece to have this surgery but she's so afraid of dying, that she won't. So I hope she will change her mine....... I love her and will continue.

Difficult.

Becaue we've had the surgery we know its worth the little struggles and we know how life changing it can be.

Maybe just back off and let her see how the sleeve have improved the quality of your life.With a bit more time she might try another diet and come to the decision by herself.

For sure you being thin and her not,will have an impact on your lives as you will become even more active and she will not.She will observe this in time.

We all prosess things differently and at a different rate.

150 pounds overweight means she is quite obese and for most of us it was highly unlikely that we would lose that much by ourselves.

I truely hope she decides to do this as living with that much extra weight is not fun.Even if you are an upbeat positive person.

My advice is don't nag. As you progress she may just change her mind. I vomited a lot when moving on to solids. Only recently started getting the hang of it. It didn't make me have any regrets though.

I have ms and fibro which is a main reason I am trying to get the surgery. Spinal arthritis symptoms pain management can be helped with excess weight loss. Weight reduction is a key factor to pain management.

Arg....I sent you a long private message and it wouldn't send. I have AS too. I happen to have PCOS and diabetes. This surgery will virtually cure the latter two! PCOS will almost always turn into diabetes especially in the morbidly obese. My surgeon and my rheumy are both OK with the surgery. I have advanced AS ...my neck, upper t-spine ans SI joints are fused. After healing I will be able to resume my mobic and will be able to take steroids with a bad flare. I am not even going to have to stop the humira for the surgery ....if an infection occurs I will, of course. I'd be happy to talk to her through my recovery if she's interested

Arg....I sent you a long private message and it wouldn't send. I have AS too. I happen to have PCOS and diabetes. This surgery will virtually cure the latter two! PCOS will almost always turn into diabetes especially in the morbidly obese. My surgeon and my rheumy are both OK with the surgery. I have advanced AS ...my neck' date=' upper t-spine ans SI joints are fused. After healing I will be able to resume my mobic and will be able to take steroids with a bad flare. I am not even going to have to stop the humira for the surgery ....if an infection occurs I will, of course. I'd be happy to talk to her through my recovery if she's interested[/quote']

Thanks! Her VST handle is phoenix79 and has since decided to go ahead with the surgery since I started this topic. She would like to talk to you with personal message about shared experiences with AS.

Why not try a lap band? I don't know if she would be a candidate. I know some one with MS that got one and hasn't had a problem and another one that was told because of the MS the sleeve was best. The nice thing about the lap band is that some of the issues people experience with the sleeve or bypass are not experienced with the lap band. It's adjustable/reversible. It's a slower weight loss, tho. It's worth the investigation. I know a lot of people that love theirs.

Thanks! Her VST handle is phoenix79 and has since decided to go ahead with the surgery since I started this topic. She would like to talk to you with personal message about shared experiences with AS.

I'd be happy to!

Why not try a lap band? I don't know if she would be a candidate. I know some one with MS that got one and hasn't had a problem and another one that was told because of the MS the sleeve was best. The nice thing about the lap band is that some of the issues people experience with the sleeve or bypass are not experienced with the lap band. It's adjustable/reversible. It's a slower weight loss' date=' tho. It's worth the investigation. I know a lot of people that love theirs.[/quote']

RNY and lapband both forbid NSAIDS or steroids after surgery. Rheumy would never approve

I would encourage her to talk to her auto-immune specialist. It seems like the excess weight would make her symptoms more pronounced. It's a tough spot to be in.... You want her to be healthy but if she feels pressured by you and does experience complications, she could resent you for it. Maybe she just needs a little more time to see the positive effect it has had on your health and life. There is a husband that posted his post-op (along with his wives) success story/ pics on here earlier today, reach out to him maybe they have some advice or just an awesome story to share and relate to.

Best of luck to both of you.

Why not try a lap band? I don't know if she would be a candidate. I know some one with MS that got one and hasn't had a problem and another one that was told because of the MS the sleeve was best. The nice thing about the lap band is that some of the issues people experience with the sleeve or bypass are not experienced with the lap band. It's adjustable/reversible. It's a slower weight loss' date=' tho. It's worth the investigation. I know a lot of people that love theirs.[/quote']

Thanks for the suggestion, but she has decided on the sleeve already and her consult with the doctor last week confirmed her decision as a good choice for her.