What's so bad about being fat anyway?

[HunnyBun 2]

We are all so eager to lose weight and we do unhealthy things to achieve that goal. I wonder sometimes if being fat would be so terrible if it was socially acceptable?

I generally don't like being fat because I feel like an outsider. I feel like the ugly person in my group, even though I know I have a prettier face/hair/attitude than some other girls I know.

If fat was 'normal' and skinny was 'ugly' would we all want to lose weight?

Would we overlook the physical discomfort and be happy with the attention we get?

Sometimes I get this crazy idea that being fat isn't so bad as long as I eat right and excercise, but then I hear someone call me a fat bitch and I want to cut my fat off with a knife.

If fat really was beautiful (by society standard) would we all be getting banded?

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

We are all so eager to lose weight and we do unhealthy things to achieve that goal. I wonder sometimes if being fat would be so terrible if it was socially acceptable?

I generally don't like being fat because I feel like an outsider. I feel like the ugly person in my group, even though I know I have a prettier face/hair/attitude than some other girls I know.

If fat was 'normal' and skinny was 'ugly' would we all want to lose weight?

Would we overlook the physical discomfort and be happy with the attention we get?

Sometimes I get this crazy idea that being fat isn't so bad as long as I eat right and excercise, but then I hear someone call me a fat bitch and I want to cut my fat off with a knife.

If fat really was beautiful (by society standard) would we all be getting banded?

YES

Because I had:

Diabetes

High Blood pressure

Heart Problems

Knee Problems

Ankle Problems

Kidney problems

Liver problems

Problems making love to my wife

Problems getting in and out of my car and truck

Problems doing work around the house

And now most of those problems are gone or much better.

[Paulax 8]

and cancer

Cancer of the kidney, endometrium, breast, colon and rectum, esophagus, prostate and gall bladder

Mulititude of information out there now that obesity is linked directly to various cancers. In fact, a headliner in our paper this past week was a study done and an obese and inactive person uses up to twice the medical expenses as a thin and active person.

I think they are now claiming in Canada as well as the US, that obesity is costing the medical system MORE money in related illnesses than smokers. So, yes, I believe it is very hard on our system and we should strive to for health.

Good discussion...

Google obesity and related diseases.

There is a lot of info out there.

http://www.obesityinamerica.org/complications.html

[lisah25 3]

We are all so eager to lose weight and we do unhealthy things to achieve that goal.

If fat really was beautiful (by society standard) would we all be getting banded?

I'm keeping in mind that I'm doing this to BE healthy, so I will do things that are healthy to get there. I've struggled with that some in the past.

But YES to the second part of your post. I would still do this. Because I know that I couldn't remain fat and healthy.

[lamamama 0]

Absolutely!!! Being fat is UNHEALTHY!!! Not being able to do the things I want because of my weight and health is what caused me to be banded, not the way I look. Looking better is just a BONUS, being HEALTHIER is the goal. I want to be around for my kids as long as I can, and losing weight will help.

[mangojoy 0]

I am fat & feel awefully healthy. i exercise & have no health problem, a matter of fact i usually feel like crap-ola when i am 'dieting' - like when i was doing jenny craig a few months ago. besides being hungry and angry, when dieting i usually get headaches and stomachaches. i feel fine when i eat my regular sometimes healthy, sometimes unhealthy diet, at regular times & regular (often much larger portions that for instance 1/2 cup of freaking Cereal we are supposed to be eating)...

anyway I agree with hunnybun, if it were not for society looking down on my fat & therefore me dislikeing my fat.... i would not be considering lapband... i am healthy & active & feel good mostly, except for my bouts of depression & insecurity & relationship problems due to my being fat.

?!?! what do you do !?!?!

[ralheit 0]

Just give it a few more years. I didn't start feeling the effects of my weight until I turned 50 and believe me you don't want to go there. Take care of this while you are still young and maybe you'll still feel as good when you turn 50.

[loveulots17lov 0]

being over wieght is bad for you. like from being over wieght i have diabetes an enlarged liver and spleen. and its hard to run around cuz i get out of breath fast. soo i would get banded even if it was accepted by every 1 else evey 1 could sit and be fat unhealthy people and i would be feeling alot better. omg i hate being sick

[Constance 0]

hunny, I know what you mean. I have struggled with why, philosophically, I can't accept my size. I'm not talking about health issues. For the sake of the argument, let's assume Hunny is referring to being overweight but still maintaining average health. I think I fall into that category. Aside from being embarrassed and feeling mental anguish over my weight, I am healthy. Now, if I continue to have a BMI of 41 would I stay healthy? Probably not.

Hunny, I do think there is a societal pressure to conform to certain standards. Body hair, clothing, hygeine...it's more than just weight. There are so many thinsg we do to fit in to society that we don't even think about. It is unfortunate that weight can be such a huge consuming struggle. Whereas, shaving your legs is not. Make sense?

I do think we should accept people AND ourselves at a normal naturally healthy weight and not rely on charts and size numbers.

But yeah, it is screwed up and I have to remind myself that there are many benefits to losing weight that are personal and not attached to the outside world.

[GeezerSue 7]

You know...not to hurt any feelings here...but I would NEVER have any surgery to "fit in" with what "society" approves of or doesn't approve of...and I fear there may be a DSM-IV diagnosis code for those who do.

If anyone is planning on having surgery for any reason other than improved health, YOU NEED COUNSELING!!! That is because if you qualify for surgery it is probably because you are morbidly obese...that is "diseased" obesity..."sickly" obesity, "pathological" obesity, etc.

If you are so deeply in denial that you don't realize that your obesity is killing you--at the same time your insurance company will cover the procedure--you really need to get some PROFESSIONAL HELP in making an honest appraisal of your current health status.

None of this was mean to be mean...but it was meant to bring home a point. If your obesity is NOT killing you, there is no logical or moral or medical reason to have any surgery.

[Constance 0]

As my doctor said 'there is no such thing as a healthy morbidly obese person'. Despite fitting into 'healthy' criteria temporarily, you will NOT stay that way for long with a BMI over 40.

[Jachut 487]

Hmm, I guess I've been subject to the thin is beautiful mindset too. Its almost unavoidable. I hate to say I had lapband surgery for vanity reasons but I did.

First and foremost though it was about how I felt. I didnt feel well or good at all. I saw nothing but pain and illness in my future if I let my weight keep getting further and further out of control. I didnt even have a huge problem in the whole scheme of things but it had affected my daily life enough that I took action. The energy I have now is unbelievable, I'm a human dynamo. I am a more efficent person and even a better mother because I have energy, something I severely lacked before.

And crossing the finish line yesterday to the cheering of a crowd in my first 7.5km race, I was bawling my eyes out at the sheer joy of being able to run like that.

I am SO glad I didnt just accept the second rate life I had when I was 30 kg heavier. It wasnt as good as the life I have now, regardless of whether I was happy with the way I looked or not.

But its also interesting that I havent put a lick of make up on my face for weeks now. I have a glow now, I dont need make up!

[HunnyBun 2]

You know...not to hurt any feelings here...but I would NEVER have any surgery to "fit in" with what "society" approves of or doesn't approve of...and I fear there may be a DSM-IV diagnosis code for those who do.

If anyone is planning on having surgery for any reason other than improved health, YOU NEED COUNSELING!!! That is because if you qualify for surgery it is probably because you are morbidly obese...that is "diseased" obesity..."sickly" obesity, "pathological" obesity, etc.

If you are so deeply in denial that you don't realize that your obesity is killing you--at the same time your insurance company will cover the procedure--you really need to get some PROFESSIONAL HELP in making an honest appraisal of your current health status.

None of this was mean to be mean...but it was meant to bring home a point. If your obesity is NOT killing you, there is no logical or moral or medical reason to have any surgery.

Do you think that anyone who has ever had cosmetic surgery needs counseling?

I think it is pretty common that people have surgery to make themselves look better. I don't think they need counseling. It's very normal to want to fit in and be a part of the crowd. It's also normal to be affected by society standard and it's normal to feel insecure when you don't fit in with what is 'in'.

Some people feel social pressure to look acceptable because of different reasons. One might have low self esteem because of the ugly duckling condition while in school. Some may get the pressure from the work environment (media etc). Some might just be so into the fashion scene that they feel like they 'need' to look great in order for their life to be what they want it to be. I consider myself one of those people.

I love fashion and it's a huge part of my life. I go to fashion shows, buy fashion books, follow the designers and trends. I am in love with adorable clothes and the only thing keeping me from being able to wear them is my size. If I lose weight I will be able to wear all the beautiful outfits I have boxed up all over the house. I love clothes so much that I buy them regardless if I can wear them or not. Not many ofcourse, but when I see something I can't live without I can at least know it's there in the box waiting to be worn some day.

I'm the only person I know who knows so much about fashion and designers but doesn't wear designer clothes. Nothing designer fits. Even if I was able to buy designer clothes, I don't think they'd look great stretched over my big belly.

Do I need to see a counselor because I want my body to reflect who I am inside?

Lap band for me has a lot to do with health, but in the end even if I was healthy I would still probably have surgery so I can look the way I feel.

I guess I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand I wish I was happy as fat as long as I am healthy, and on the other hand I want to be a cute, sexy fashionista that wears Manolos.

[Constance 0]

I COMPLETELY agree with you. Geezer comments kind of rubbed me the wrong way as I re-read them in your post. Everyone has the right to feel good about themselves, period. I would love to think we could all feel great with affirmations and positive self-talk...but that isn't the world we live in. There is nothing wrong with making an informed, intelligent choice to alter your body to feel better about yourself.

[GeezerSue 7]

Do you think that anyone who has ever had cosmetic surgery needs counseling?

Of course not...but the stuff they have "worked on" isn't killing them. Morbid obesity KILLS people.

I think it is pretty common that people have surgery to make themselves look better. I don't think they need counseling. It's very normal to want to fit in and be a part of the crowd. It's also normal to be affected by society standard and it's normal to feel insecure when you don't fit in with what is 'in'.

If your nose is unattractive and you want a nose job, go for it. If your boobs are so big they are causing you backaches, by all means, have a reduction. In those cases you are fixing something that is, in your view, "wrong."

But that's not what your posts are about. You have been saying that EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE HEALTHY you are going to have surgery to please others.

Do I need to see a counselor because I want my body to reflect who I am inside?

Again, OF COURSE NOT. But, if you believe that in spite of being morbidly obese, you are perfectly healthy and happy and just want to have surgery to "fit in" better with "society's" values and change your looks to make you more "acceptable" to others, then YES...you need a counselor.

Lap band for me has a lot to do with health, but in the end even if I was healthy I would still probably have surgery so I can look the way I feel.

I guess I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand I wish I was happy as fat as long as I am healthy, and on the other hand I want to be a cute, sexy fashionista that wears Manolos.

Again, there is no such thing as a healthy morbidly obese person. That's like saying "a healthy but dying from fat person." I don't know your particulars. Maybe you are NOT MO. Maybe you are just a few pounds overweight and it's getting in the way of your idea of having fun.

WLS is a good idea, but you really need to be doing this for a good reason because it's a BIG job...and, unless you have a REALLY good reason, you'll get tired of the routine.

Good luck,

Sue