We are all so eager to lose weight and we do unhealthy things to achieve that goal. I wonder sometimes if being fat would be so terrible if it was socially acceptable?

I generally don't like being fat because I feel like an outsider. I feel like the ugly person in my group, even though I know I have a prettier face/hair/attitude than some other girls I know.

If fat was 'normal' and skinny was 'ugly' would we all want to lose weight?

Would we overlook the physical discomfort and be happy with the attention we get?

Sometimes I get this crazy idea that being fat isn't so bad as long as I eat right and excercise, but then I hear someone call me a fat bitch and I want to cut my fat off with a knife.

If fat really was beautiful (by society standard) would we all be getting banded?

Hmm, standard cosmetic surgery only affects your looks? Surely having bags of silicone put into your chest, necessitating several repeat surgeries as they degrade and making future mammograms to detect things like breast lumps very very difficult all for the sake of having bigger breasts is every bit as risky as bariatric surgery. Especially the lap band. Managed properly and with a bit of luck that you wont be one of the small percentage that experiences probl4ms, a lap band does NOT compromise your nutrition and health, and I'd hazard a guess its much less risky than carrying round a few silicone implants. We all know the health horrors that have occurred due to breast implants.

And I dont think there's many women around who can say totally honestly that vanity played no part whatsoever in their decision. Come on! So many of our NSV's are about superficial things like going down in sizes and such.

I didn't mean to imply that there are NO RISKS to standard cosmetic surgery, only that their primary goal is to affect a person's looks. ALL SURGERIES HAVE RISKS. One has to weigh the risks with the intended goal before making his/her decision to have any surgery, cosmetic or otherwise.

Also, I said that the vanity of it should be secondary. I did not say that it did not or should not come into play. I would be lying if I said that I never considered how I'd look with some or all of my excess weight off. The mere prospect of it made me giddy with pleasure. It gave me motivation and helped me to know that what I was doing was right. But does that mean I had WLS to look good? No. I had it to spare my joints further destruction. To save that artificial joint that I had to have. To help prevent the diabetes I was heading into. To prevent hypertention, sleep apnea and any host of other obesity related issues I was prone to.

I also did not intend to downplay mental health issues. Mental health is very important. Depression is a serious illness. Self esteem issues are serious concerns. But, I still contend that to have WLS as a primary treatment for these conditions would be poor treatment on the part of the doctor. Other health issues should be present to justify such a step. Other treatment modalities have proven tried and true for mental health concerns versus surgery. To say I had WLS just to make myself feel better mentally? I think I'd be ashamed of myself as a medical professional, therefore defeating the supposed intended purpose.

These are just my opinions and examples from my own personal experience. I guess I should have kept them to myself, but when I saw that GeezerSue wrote basically what I was thinking, I felt compelled to respond (especially when she was met with such criticism). I've tried desperately not to judge anyone for their physical condition or their reasons for having WLS. It's difficult sometimes. I keep reminding myself that the only person I have the right to judge is myself.

Good luck to all and make decisions you feel you can be proud of.

I have read all of your posts. Very interesting. You all have very good points. It comes down to your own personal journey with WLS. Whether you decided on WLS because of physical, mental, health, vanity or all of the above reasons, that's your decision and your right.

I am very happy to say, I had WLS for all of the above reasons. Health reasons first but as the weight comes off, it's a wonderful feeling looking in the mirror and liking what you see.

Good luck to all of you.

The way I look was a major factor in my choice to have this surgery. I live in the core of a large Canadian city. Like New York, we have good urban transit and we walk a lot. People who live downtown tend to be well-groomed and slim. I started gaining weight after I went through an early menopause just like my mother, and just like my mother all my weight gain was on my torso.

At first I was fairly relaxed about this but when I was switched, for reasons of treating my problems with depression (also hereditary), to a fattening cocktail of pharmaceuticals, this weight gain stopped being a joke. I joined a gym but exercise alone wasn't doing much and by now I weighed too much for liposuction and a tummy tuck.

The truth was that I had become fat, was going to get fatter, and I felt that my body was totally out of control. It had become my enemy and I was embarassed by myself. A friend told me about this procedure. I made an appointment in order to find out whether I would be a suitable candidate and now here I am, another bandster!

I was banded September 7 of this year. I haven't been weighing myself because I got out of the habit of using a scale when I was 25 and I can't seem to break the groove. I have been having some NSVs however and I am learning how to break some of my more self-destructive habits. But it was my vanity that started this journey.

If being "obese" was the standard for beauty I think many people would NEVER have lapband surgery and continue to be obese perhaps until their health started failing.

Look at the African country of Mauritania......Obese females = beauty.

In Mauritania an obese female is the sign of wealth and prestige, young girls are force fed in order to attract a rich husband.

Females who are thin actually bring shame to the family because they are considered unattractive and therefore unable to marry.

These people don't care that force feeding their daughters is slowly killing them, because for them, the reward of their daughter attracting a rich husband far outweighs the health risks.

Lets face it.........How many women do things that are unhealthy in order to look attractive?

eg: wearing stilettoes (bad for your feet and spine and even worse if you topple over and break your neck!:omg: )

....if Morbid Obesity weren't closely associated with diabetis, cardiac disorders, kidney dysfunction and failure, blindness, circulatory issues, atherosclerosis, arteriosclerosis, pulmonary disruption, high blood pressure, and dozens of other undesireable unnecessary self-inflicted debilitations,.....

....it wouldn't matter to me either!!!

Having a host of them creep upon me over the last few decades, and being subject to ever increasing evidence I was eating myself to a slow agonizing death....I didn't have time to be too concerned about what others thought, I was too busy geting another sack of dough-burgers....

The time it was taking out of my day to take my insulin shots, clean my CPAP machine, take my meds, apply various ointments for various fungal issues, creak into clothing that may yet fit until the next custom order from Omar the Tent Maker arrived, just in time for the NOON session of meds, injections, etc....really was interferring with my food-shopping schedule so I could get back home for an early post lunch snack so I'd have the energy to get dinner early enough so I'd have time for my dessert before my 'evening snack' so it wouldn't interfere with my 'pre-bedtime snack' which I had to take in time so I could take my meds and my shots and a little taste of left overs so they wouldn't go stale overnight....

and by your tag line question, I HAVE lost that 100 pounds, 10 pounds at a time....and I did it a HUNDRED times....so I LOST 1000 pounds, just in the last 20 years....however, I managed to regain each time an extra 10 pounds more than I lost....loosing all that weight kept me pretty busy on my new improved diet schedule...

In a word, to quote TOM, YES!!!!

Good luck in your journey....

AMEN to that!!!

hmmm maybe i should move to Mauritania. lol While i was reading this thread i could not help but become upset. We should all be supporting each other in our quest for a healthy weight, not telling others that they need a conselor. Whatever the reason for someone getting the lapband, either due to vanity or health reasons is irrelevant. The fact is they qualified for the surgery. Societal pressures are just as important as health concerns. But i think hunnybuns question is valid, if fat was in would so many people be getting this surgery. I don't think so. And many people may truly believe that they are doing this only for health reasons, but i beleive for everyone deep down perhaps covered by the years is a part of them doing this in order to fit in.

...We should all be supporting each other in our Quest for a healthy weight, not telling others that they need a conselor. Whatever the reason for someone getting the lapband, either due to vanity or health reasons is irrelevant.

The fact is they qualified for the surgery. Societal pressures are just as important as health concerns...

And many people may truly believe that they are doing this only for health reasons, but i beleive for everyone deep down perhaps covered by the years is a part of them doing this in order to fit in.

Well said.

What is this self-righteous judgmental streak that allows some of us Bandsters to look down on other Bandsters or PreOps? That makes us as bad as those normal sized people who 'judge' us because we are/or/were obese.

How dare one person pass judgment on another person who chooses this surgery? :faint:

Unlike the DS or the RnY, the LapBand can be a great option for those who are not quite morbidly obese, but want to prevent long-term obesity.

In other countries where the Lap-Band has been performed much longer, the LapBand is routinely offered to patients who are 40# overweight or so, depending on how long they've been overweight. And that's been acceptable for a while.

So face it. No it's not good to be 40# overweight - but it doesn't mean you're morbidly obese generally. So you could be overweight and not have any significant evidence of heart trouble, diabetes, apnea, or other weight-related health issues.

I have no qualms, issues, or problems admitting that I had this surgery to look better. Yes, I wanted to feel better - and taking off a lot of weight is a great way to do that. Plus I thought it wise to handle it before my health issues increased as my weight increased. Period.

This is my life and I live it according to my terms. As a single woman in my 30's being overweight was an absolute nightmare. Enough trips to bars, nightclubs, parties, fashion shows and other social situations where I was the biggest woman in the room and judged negatively because of it were a great motivator for me to take my highly attractive-but-just-plain-fat self to the nearest Bariatric surgeon.

My weight was a problem, had been a problem for years and I needed help. :help:

I did tons of research, I weighed my options and I made the best choice for me. If others choose to judge me because I decided to combat obesity before it became a bigger problem - then that's THEIR problem.

Ask any bariatric surgeon if they'd rather see their patients come in with 90# to lose or 190# to lose... they will tell you quick that early intervention is better all around.

I often say, Weight Loss Surgery is the only avenue where people pat themselves on the back for waiting until they are super-morbidly obese before they take surgical action while looking down on those who do it sooner, rather than later.

(Those patients who say "Oh I lost 175# after surgery, but you shouldn't have had it since you had less to lose" come to mind. )

So I had WLS to look better.

And after a more-than-thorny-path, it might actually be working. Hopefully I'll stay healthy - I pray that I do - but I know I didn't do this for the wrong reason no matter what.

And I do look much better with that weight off me.

Works for me.