Need Help, Crew!

[Golden 10]

Hi guys - I am in serious need of some help and pep talking.

I am putting weight on and it is like my worst nightmare is coming true. To recap, I got down to within 10 pounds of my goal, and even though it was hard work, I felt completely in control of it - doing all the right things and loving it!

Then something happened...I don't know if it's that fear we (meaning emotional eaters/disordered eaters) get when we get close to maintenance - I've read about it and had it in the past - but I just panicked. I've been see-sawing ever since. I'll have a terrible week of eating junk and feeling horrible, and then will get back on the wagon and feel like I've kicked it, go back to doing the right things and thinking it was just a hiccup.

I'm trying SO HARD but I'm really struggling now. I just quit the job I've been in for 3 years, made a huge overseas move and changed my whole life, basically. I feel so out of my element and I just can't seem to stop coming back to food for comfort. The flip side of the whole thing is that I am 1.5 years out now and my capacity has really increased to more than I thought it would. I can eat a candy bar or a small pot pie if I feel like it, no problem (things I never thought I'd even want again) and snacking throughout the day means I could fit in tons if I wanted to. Not to say that IS what I'm doing, but I am terrified in the knowledge that I COULD, because I worry that I will be weak and give it to it eventually.

I have gone up a size. One solid size, from a 10 to a 12, and maybe bordering a 14 now in some brands. I've gained from the weight I'd like to be staying at - I am almost 5'9, and 170-175 was perfect for me - now I'd say I'm right at 200. I have been in therapy since before I had surgery and all the way through until I recently moved. It was very helpful, but this behavior was happening for a few months already before I left. I plan to look for someone here, too, but everything takes so long to set up and I just hate how I am feeling.

Please be nice and realize that it is so hard and HORRIFYING to say these things, after everything I've gone through. No one know better than me how self destructive it is. But if there is anything I've learned, it's that shame is even more destructive and that hiding from this stuff only makes it worse. I need to be honest and this is the only place to do that with people who understand, while not too much damage is done and can be turned around. Any thoughts???

[charchar 7]

Hi guys - I am in serious need of some help and pep talking.

I am putting weight on and it is like my worst nightmare is coming true. To recap' date=' I got down to within 10 pounds of my goal, and even though it was hard work, I felt completely in control of it - doing all the right things and loving it!

Then something happened...I don't know if it's that fear we (meaning emotional eaters/disordered eaters) get when we get close to maintenance - I've read about it and had it in the past - but I just panicked. I've been see-sawing ever since. I'll have a terrible week of eating junk and feeling horrible, and then will get back on the wagon and feel like I've kicked it, go back to doing the right things and thinking it was just a hiccup.

I'm trying SO HARD but I'm really struggling now. I just quit the job I've been in for 3 years, made a huge overseas move and changed my whole life, basically. I feel so out of my element and I just can't seem to stop coming back to food for comfort. The flip side of the whole thing is that I am 1.5 years out now and my capacity has really increased to more than I thought it would. I can eat a candy bar or a small pot pie if I feel like it, no problem (things I never thought I'd even want again) and snacking throughout the day means I could fit in tons if I wanted to. Not to say that IS what I'm doing, but I am terrified in the knowledge that I COULD, because I worry that I will be weak and give it to it eventually.

I have gone up a size. One solid size, from a 10 to a 12, and maybe bordering a 14 now in some brands. I've gained from the weight I'd like to be staying at - I am almost 5'9, and 170-175 was perfect for me - now I'd say I'm right at 200. I have been in therapy since before I had surgery and all the way through until I recently moved. It was very helpful, but this behavior was happening for a few months already before I left. I plan to look for someone here, too, but everything takes so long to set up and I just hate how I am feeling.

Please be nice and realize that it is so hard and HORRIFYING to say these things, after everything I've gone through. No one know better than me how self destructive it is. But if there is anything I've learned, it's that shame is even more destructive and that hiding from this stuff only makes it worse. I need to be honest and this is the only place to do that with people who understand, while not too much damage is done and can be turned around. Any thoughts???[/quote']

Wow I really don't have anything to tell you to help but all I can say is wow I hope this doesn't happen to me but if it did I would try to do other things that involve helping others because sometime seeing or being with people helping ten make you feel better about yourself and help you keep your mind off stuff that are destructive good luck. Ps sorry that all I got

[Territravel 217]

It's going to be ok. Your on the right path, admitting that your scared, and slipping back into bad, old habits. It sounds like the move and job change has you stressed, and food is your new best friend...I would recommend you start with the basics, WLS diet 101. If you exercise 4 times a week, amp it up to 6 time a week..Don't give up, you can do this! Good luck.

[Territravel 217]

It's going to be ok. Your on the right path, admitting that your scared, and slipping back into bad, old habits. It sounds like the move and job change has you stressed, and food is your new best friend...I would recommend you start with the basics, WLS diet 101. If you exercise 4 times a week, amp it up to 6 time a week..Don't give up, you can do this! Good luck.

P.S Google 5 day pouch test...May help.

[chitowngirl 886]

I'm sorry your experiencing these difficulties. I suggest maybe getting another activity you can focus on such as running, dancing, boxing class, ect. I can personally understand how easy it is to fall back into those bad habits. I also can easily snack my day away. When I focus on getting my fluids in, It is so consuming that food is pretty much an after thought. Good luck to you. Start counting calories again, get Bach to basics keep up with your Protein.< /p>

[carolc 94]

Honestly, this is probably everyone's worst nightmare, I am sorry that you are going through this. The positive thing is that you realize what you are doing and are trying to stop. You really need to get tough with yourself and get rid of any bad food at home first off. As mentioned above, look for a non food alternative to distract yourself. Something physical or even something creative that keeps your hands busy. For instance, i love to knit and when i knit i definitely won't eat.

Please dont give up!

[Kayargh 112]

Breath!! It's ok! First, let's look at the positives- as mentioned before, you have taken the step in admitting that you are struggling and falling back into some old habits- that's great! Now we can work on a way of helping you through it. Now, I know it may seem either daunting or drastic but I personally would be heading back to the psychologist. They are an even ground to voice your fears, struggles and concerns to and they can give you tools and strategies to put in place when you start to feel overwhelmed or panicked or the old head hunger rears its fugly head. I know that you didn't spend all this money, time and put yourself and your body through all that hard work to start going backwards, that is why I would be hitting this head on, straight up. Second, breathe...yes, breathe! Trying yoga, meditation, or something that relaxes you can help keep your mind calm when you are feeling this conflicted and disappointed. It helps put the issues that you have in perspective and that helps to diminish the enormity of it to a more manageable feat. Thirdly then it's about getting back to basics. Going back to what u were eating 4-6 weeks out again, it may take a few days but u will fall back into good habits as you have done this already!! Remember, you have achieved this before, you CAN do this again. And of course- light exercises to bring you back to center again. Don't be too hard on yourself, there is absolutely nothing you can do about how you ate and drank yesterday, but there is something you can do about it right now-look ahead, learn from past behaviours but don't dwell on them, attack this from all angles and you will succeed!!! Sorry, long post, but I hope it was helpful. Best of luck to you!

[JerseyGirl68 1,172]

I'm still pre-op, so I can only imagine how you feel. I have had experience in loosing a chunk of weight only to sabotage myself in the end. I agree with Terri. You recognize what is happening. Go back to basics. Get rid of the junk, recommit and keep sharing! If you're feeling down, reach out. We have all been there. Don't beat yourself up, you can't change what you did yesterday, start fresh today and you will feel more in control.

I would say Good luck, but I don't think you'll need it. You got this!

[Tipintx 41]

If you are not doing so use the my fitness pal ap- help youbtrack your food and makes us more aware. Blessings on your new journey:)

Sent from my iPad using VST

[Golden 10]

Thanks, guys. Just writing the post and admitting it all helped me a lot yesterday. I took steps toward finding a therapist and support group in my new area and just felt a lot more positive. Having 20 lbs to lose to get back to where I want to be is nothing next the 100+ I had to lose in the first place!

Keeping up with MyFitnessPal is a great suggestion, which I did use religiously before, and haven't been - but also to stay involved with this community. Even though I don't post as much as some people, I used to spend a lot more time here, and I think it's important to stay tuned in and listen to people going through what you are, to stay on track.

Finally, I don't want this type of post to scare anyone or make them think the surgery won't work. If I had gone through a phase like this 2 years ago, I probably would have yo-yo'd and gained 50 pounds in a month! Because of the sleeve, both in a physical AND mental sense, it has only been a gain of 18 pounds, spread over 4 months. While it would be unrealistic to pretend the sleeve is going to solve all our food problems, there is no doubt it keeps us from going too far off the wagon for too long.

[gail_juarez 32]

I commend you for being brave and confronting yourself and admitting your problem. Your half way to solving your little problem. I haven't had the surgery but your story confirms that you have to commit and stay on a structured diet forever! Nothing can stop the weight from coming back if your heart isn't in it and yours sounds like your in it to win it!

[hugsamber 8]

I completly understand where you are coming from. We get complacent after so long and the bad habits creep back in. You just have to refocus and go back to the basics, as sucky as it is! I use myfitnesspal.com and that helps me track what I am eating. Its amazing how much I was snacking; but keeping track helped me realize it. I have also done the 5 day pouch test and that helped me with my carb craving...well a little! I love my carbs, everything in moderation. Personally snacking is the worst! Good luck and don't feel alone. This happens to a lot of people!