My Teenage Daughter Is Jealous

[Tiffany Talbert Corbet 46]

This was my first thought. If I were back at her age and I saw my mom wearing clothes that I wish I could fit back into it would kill me inside. I remember groing up my little sister would ask to wear some of my clothes because sometimes she "just liked to wear baggy clothes and mine were just the right size". It was nfuriating and only made me turn on myself inside for being so fat my sister could use mine for "baggy" clothes. Someday, post-sleeve, I'm making it a point to get into her closet and find SOMETHING I can wear....just for my own little bit of satisfaction. Maybe some "couples" therapy where you can both work on the situation. Having a safe place where she won't be judged for what she's feeling and can vent her feelings/frustrations might help her from internalizing, and stress eating. (not sure if that's an issue with her, but I know I could put on a good show handling it in front of people, but self-punishing/ soothing myself later with something sweet and sinful.)

I know there is a cost implication but don't wear the clothes she has outgrown, seeing you in them could be causing her a lot of pain.

[Kalimomof3 613]

My 15 year old is suffering from obesity and I think she is angry that I am loosing and shes not. In fact she may gaining faster than i am loosing. Im wearing clothes she has grown out of. I dont know what to do to help her. I am so upset because I know exactly how she feels. What do i do? I make extra healthy meals and have zero junk food in house.

Do you think that your removal of all junk food from the house is causing her to binge eat? I am only saying this because she is 15 and obviously could get ahold of junk food if she wants it.Unfortunatley children tend to mimic their parents eating habits and if she has spent 14 years of her life mimicking yours pre surgery it will be hard to change in her without her having surgery since she hasn't gone through the process you did.I have 2 teenage stepdaughters and when they came to live with us their eating habits were a mess because they ate like their mother...I am not the healthiest eater but we don't keep near as much junk or allow our children to eat a lot of junk as their mom did. At 12 and 14 it was a huge adjustment and we did not ban all junk but we found they had been buying candy at school and eating it on the walk home and stashing wrappers lots of them.We sat them down and had a talk about healthy eating and how I was overweight because I was never really taught to exercise control over what or much junk I should put in my mouth.I have struggled with my weight a long time so I wanted to make sure that my children did not follow my footsteps so while I don't forbid junk food I do limit quantities. I would let them have a small bag of chips after school or a candy bar but not BOTH and then a healthy choice like an apple.Once they understood where I was coming from they really got it and started to like the moderation of it. I just think that at 15 it is hard to remove all junk cold turkey it makes junkfood probably more appealing to a teenager. I have 3 young children too and I do most of my worst eating after they go to bed.I give them primarily healthy foods but they get treats of ice cream or chips and normal junkfood regularly but not daily and I hope that having surgery while they are young they never notice any of my pre surgery habits.Children eat what they are taught and obviously at 15 if you need to tweak your daughters habits it is more like re wiring an adult and will be more o a struggle so talk openly with her about it and what your worries are and maybe let her choose the healthy food she likes and a couple of junky things that ate just for her it may help<3

[just_kari 9]

In reading the posts here I also had something else occur to me.

I had a mom that measured her food for as long as I could remember. She admits that she has been on every diet known to man at one time or another. Recently she told me "of course I was. That's how I've kept my weight off." My mom was always thin, but I knew it was because of her constant dieting. I had image issues as a girl. I think most girls do. I look back at photos and I marvel at how I could ever even *think* such a thing. But I remember it well, I believe it eventually became a self-fulfilling prophecy for me. I promised that I'd never make weight an issue for my daughter, and that was obviously way over-correcting my own experience. She (my daughter) can't imagine herself *ever* being able to fit into a size 9 jean, no matter how much weight she lost. I was shocked at that statement. So now we are both working to undo our dysfunctional relationship with food. It is hard, for both of us. But we are both using what we've got; She's got her youth and a great opportunity for exercise in her dance classes and team and I will have the sleeve to help me get to where I can do some of those dance classes with her.

[desertmom 297]

Hi

I have asked my girls to help me.Meaning I need a companion to keep me on track with the exercise.Now one helps me with the toning and one runs with me.

But the two of you need to talk about little changes she can make...herself,to help her.All her own choices,no diet just little little changes and a bit of exercise.My housemate have lost 30 pounds since my surgery making little changes and exercising.Her choice,not wanting to stay overweight whil I get thin.Tell her how you feel though.

O yes,and turf her old clothes,dont wear it.

Good luck.